Sugar and Spice

Tag: Sexual health

  • A risky business…

    It would be irresponsible of me to write about being a sugar baby without writing about some of the ‘not so good’ parts of the job. I’d hate to be accused of glamourising this type of work, because believe me, it’s often anything but… 

    Unfortunately, by its very nature, being a sugar baby is a risky job, but for some reason I am (and always have been) a bit of a risk taker; it’s just the way I am… impulsive and occasionally irresponsible.  

    Whilst I arrange to meet my sugar daddies in a public place, there are times when I’ve only a matter of minutes (or seconds) to decide whether they’re safe or not before I jump into their car, follow them back to their house, or go into a hotel room with them.  

    Whilst I like to think I’m a good judge of character and could defend myself, in reality most of my sugar daddies could overpower me if they wanted to. I’m incredibly lucky that I haven’t been hurt (without consent anyway), been forced into doing anything I haven’t wanted to do or been in a position where I’ve felt physically unsafe; however, I appreciate that I put myself in situations where this could happen.  

    As you know (if you read my blogs) I’ve done things that I wouldn’t want to do again, seen people I haven’t enjoyed spending time with, and been in some unpleasant situations; but thankfully nothing I haven’t been able to handle. There have been times when I’ve had to walk away from men who have been rude and unpleasant though, which whilst difficult, is not something I’m afraid to do. Like any job involving other people, you’re always going to come across the odd asshole (no pun intended). 

    Obviously having sex for a living comes with numerous health risks. Urinary tract infections for example are an occupational hazard when having sex with multiple partners, especially when anal is involved (men aren’t always careful about what they’re sticking where).  

    Sexually transmitted infections are also a huge risk, and whilst I’d like to say I always use protection, that would be a lie. Yes, I know I’m stupid to put my sexual health at risk, but trying to get some men to wear condoms is a real challenge, especially older men who have trouble maintaining an erection. Given the choice I’ll use protection, but I don’t force the issue.  

    I keep tabs on who I’m sleeping with and try to keep it within a closed network; however, being the sexpot I am, I do occasionally slip up (see my blog ‘disaster strikes’).  

    I’m honest with the men I’m involved with, they know I’m having sex with other men and that not all my sugar daddies use protection; if they decide not to, they know the risks. Thankfully it’s a rare occurrence; three STIs in nearly four years isn’t bad going, but probably still three too many! 

    Most of the time I’ll fuck a sugar daddy before taking or checking payment, as I don’t like demanding payment upfront or counting money in front of people (feels yucky). Whilst I’ve never not been paid, I’m always quite relieved when I open the envelope and find it’s full of money and not empty; that would really suck! I don’t know what I’d do if a guy didn’t pay though, I don’t think there’s really anything I could do about it… 

    A lot of my sugar daddies take me out and spend time with me in public, which can be problematic. I’ve been shouted at for being a whore, had people asking whether I’m a prostitute and how much I charge, and been in a situation where my sugar daddy was accused of being a whoremonger.   

    Unfortunately, if I’m out with a much older man it’s obvious what’s going on, and people will pass judgement, that’s just human nature. In general, men seem to be more ok with it then women; who can be quite judgemental and untrusting, like you’re morally corrupt and going to steal their man or something. That or they get jealous and want to put you down; women can be so bitchy. Men on the other hand just see you as a piece of meat, or an easy lay; which isn’t great either, but in many ways easier to deal with. 

    There are still unfortunately people who see women who work in this industry as an expendable commodity though; and believe that because of what we do we don’t deserve respect and should expect (or even tolerate) a certain amount of physical or verbal abuse as just ‘part of the job’. However, whilst it’s true that as a sex worker I’m putting myself in a vulnerable position, just as the men who engage with me are, it doesn’t mean I’m asking to be abused or disrespected, because I assure you, I’m not. 

    If I was abused or assaulted by a client, do I feel like I could go to someone for help without fear of judgement… no, probably not. Which is shit, because if I was doing a more ‘socially acceptable’ job it would be different; as a sex worker I don’t think I’d get the same level of empathy or support though… 

    Unfortunately, sex work has a bad reputation and is greatly misunderstood, most people don’t like to talk about it because it’s seen as dirty or dishonest in some way. Hopefully you can appreciate that sex work isn’t necessarily a ‘dirty’ or ‘shameful’ thing though, it can be done in a dignified and respectful way.  

    Although it is perfectly legal, sex workers are not safeguarded or protected, it’s very much an ‘at your own risk’ sort of job. We’re not given the same support as those who work in other industries, because society doesn’t like to admit that this sort of thing goes on or openly discuss ways to make it safer (as that would be like saying it’s ok). Not only does this put sex workers at risk, but it also puts the men who engage with sex workers at risk too. I’ve heard numerous horror stories from men who have been conned or blackmailed by sex workers but felt powerless to do anything about it; but that’s for another day.  

    To conclude, whilst I obviously enjoy my job (most of the time), I wouldn’t necessarily encourage all women to rush out and become a sugar baby. It’s not a job that would suit everyone, it takes a certain type of person to do this kind of work; which if I’m being totally honest with you, is probably not the kind of person you want to be.  

    For me though the rewards far outweigh the risks, and I can’t imagine doing anything else right now. 

    Till next time, stay safe or stay lucky. 

    Emily-Rose xxx 

    Disaster strikes

  • Disaster strikes

    (Warning: not for those of you who are squeamish)

    So, there’s this cute guy who plays pool in my local; I sometimes play with him (pool that is). He’s a bit of a ‘Jack the lad’, and I can’t help but fancy him; he fancies me too, I can tell by the way he flirts and watches me bending over to take my shots.  

    Now, I try not to fuck anyone other than my sugar daddies, but that’s easier said than done…. especially when I’m drunk and horny (basically anytime I’m drunk). You can see where this is going….   

    One night I give in to temptation and take him back to mine. I don’t ‘need’ sex, I’m getting plenty of it, I just really want it. The sex is great; hard and fast, two young people who want to fuck each other’s brains out, doing just that. 

    He wore a condom, but it doesn’t survive our vigorous fucking, and after coming inside me, he withdraws without it. I rescue it from my sticky vagina, I know I’m not pregnant, so forget about it; until a few weeks later when I get the dreaded text stating that one of my sexual partners has tested positive for Chlamydia.  

    Now, given my numerous sexual experiences, and total lack of self-control, I’ve had Chlamydia before, but don’t have time to fuck about getting tested. Time is money, and I need to be able to work, so I order the appropriate antibiotics and check my spreadsheet to see who I need to contact (yes, I have a spreadsheet). Two of my sugar daddies who don’t wear protection get unlucky, but thankfully, and much to my relief, no one else is affected. I vow to be more careful in future; and think no more of it. 

    Fast forward a month and I’m messaged by a married man who’s coming down for business and wants a one-off thing. He’s not had sex with anyone but his wife for 19 years; and can’t use condoms, something I hear a lot… they don’t work for him, it’s not the same, blah blah blah, usual excuses. I explain that I have a coil fitted, but prefer using protection to ensure we’re both safe. He assures me that he’s ‘clean’ but wants to know if I’ve had any issues, and how many men I fuck without protection etc; suddenly concerned about infecting his wife, what a considerate husband, good job I brought it up….  

    I recall my recent experience of Chlamydia, and realize that I never tested after treating myself, just to check the antibiotics worked; I feel healthy, but can’t be 100% sure. I obviously don’t want to put him or his marriage at risk, so buy a test kit, and tell him that I’ll test before we meet. 

    If you’ve ever tested yourself, you know it’s fairly simple. You have a long cotton wool bud that you insert into your vagina, twist around, pull out, stir in a solution, and pour a few drops over what looks like a covid test strip. Idiot proof, what could possibly go wrong…. I check the instructions, annoyingly you have to wait at least an hour after weeing before testing, and I really need a wee now. I can’t be arsed to come back later though, so ignore my full bladder, and go for it; it’ll only take a minute.   

    I squat, spread my pussy lips and insert the cotton bud. It feels really uncomfortable going in; maybe my vagina’s a bit dry, or tense because I’m desperate for a wee. Either way, I persevere, pushing it up as far as I can, ignoring the increasingly unpleasant feeling. I twist it around and try to pull it out; it doesn’t want to move though, and the more I pull, the more it hurts. I feel wetness as urine trickles along the plastic stick and onto the floor; I really need to get this thing out before I wee all over it, if I get it wet it won’t work. I stand over the toilet, frantically trying to pull it out whilst trying not to wee everywhere, but it’s not working; it’s really hurting. My legs are shaking and I’m starting to panic; I can feel beads of sweat forming on the back of my neck. By this point I don’t even care whether the test will work, I just want the bloody thing out.  

    Eventually I can’t hold on any longer and have no choice but to wee. I hold the end of the swab whilst doing so, as even the slightest movement hurts. A tidal wave of wee gushes over my hand as I let go; it hurts and it’s uncomfortable, but at least I don’t feel like my bladder is about to explode anymore. I’ve totally fucked up the test now, but I don’t care. I try again to pull the wretched thing out, but my vagina seems to be clamped around it. The pain is almost unbearable, and liquid is still trickling down the plastic stick and into the toilet…. It’s a strange sensation, like I want to come and squirt everywhere. Every time I move the stick, my pussy spasms and a fresh wave of liquid escapes, causing a weird feeling of pleasure and pain.  

    I’m stuck and I don’t know what to do. I’m hot, sweaty, crying and leaking; stood over the toilet, too scared to move, feeling like my legs could give way at any moment. It’s at this point that I suddenly remember my contraceptive coil; maybe the cotton bud is twisted around the threads of my coil, or I’ve dislodged it and perforated my insides. I try to twist the swab in the opposite direction, thinking that maybe I can untangle it; but I can’t twist it at all, it’s stuck and won’t budge, any attempt just results in more pain; I’m basically fucked!  

    For a moment I seriously consider whether I can wrap a towel around my waist and walk to the hospital, though quickly realize that’s impossible. I have no other choice, for the first time in my life, I dial 999. I’m panicking, but hold it together whilst I explain to the operator what’s happened. She takes my details and explains that the ambulance service is under a great deal of pressure; it could be several hours before they get to me. She asks if someone could drive me to the hospital. I look down between my legs… I can hardly move, I’m leaking everywhere, and have 10cms of plastic stick poking out of my vag, I’m like a fucking human lollipop, I don’t think she understands my predicament; but having no choice, I tell her I’ll try, and hang up. I take a couple of steps, legs spread, hands grasping my stick, piss trickling down my legs; it’s no good, I don’t think I can make it down the stairs, let alone to the hospital. Nope, I’m going to have to deal with this myself. With great effort I get on my knees, and lean forward against the bath. I Google how to remove a coil at home, because it’s clearly twisted around the swab, and I’m not going to get the swab out without also removing my coil. The results are encouraging, it’s not impossible to do; yes, you may do some serious damage, but what choice do I have. If I remove it and start bleeding everywhere, at least I might be able to close my legs and make it to the hospital; I have to do something. Feeling between my legs, I find the opening to my vagina; it’s closed tight, poor thing. I prize it open, careful not to disturb the swab; inside I can feel the walls of my vagina, but not the swab…. what the fuck!! I put my phone on selfie mode and slide it between my legs, trying to make sense of what’s going on. Droplets of wee cover the screen, but I can just make out my vagina, and the swab sticking out… the swab is not in my vagina though. I Google the female anatomy, not quite believing what I’ve done; I’ve inserted the swab into my urethra.  

    I’m both horrified and relieved. On one hand, it’s obviously not caught on my coil, pulling it out might hurt like a bitch, but it’s not going to rip out my coil and my uterus with it. On the other hand, what the fuck! How did I manage to push a swab all the way up there, I didn’t even realize that was possible…though obviously it is.  

    Now I’m confident I’m not going to kill myself; I try to relax and pull it out. It really hurts, but thankfully I eventually manage it. The tip is covered in blood, have I impaled myself or damaged my bladder? I try to Google what happens when you accidentally shove a fat cotton bud up your pee hole; Google is less helpful this time.  

    I’m relieved that it’s out, but still experiencing pain. I feel the urge to wee, but nothing happens, and when it does, it burns to the point that tears roll down my face and I cry out in pain. 

    I climb into the shower, thinking that the warm water may help ease the pain; I pee again, it still burns, but the water helps. I lie in the bath, the warm water running over my belly and between my legs. Exhausted after such an ordeal, I consider whether I could sleep in the bath, with the shower running, but decide against it; I need to get myself checked out.  

    I dress, and walk in the rain to the hospital. I can’t find my shoes so I’m wearing my gardening Crocs, I don’t care though; I just want tonight to be over.  

    Thankfully A&E is quiet, so I’m not waiting long. I explain, for the second time that night, what’s happened; the nurse is sympathetic, and somehow manages to keep a straight face. My observations are normal, and she doesn’t seem too concerned, which is reassuring. It’s gone 10pm so there aren’t any doctors on duty, so very little she can do. She tells me that my urethra is experiencing trauma, which will ease in time; yeah…it’s not the only one. I tell the nurse how silly I feel, that I can’t believe I managed to do something so stupid. She assures me that it happens to us all, something I very much doubt. She tells me to go home and rest, the doctor will give me a call in the morning.  

    Lying in bed that night, I wonder how many women have had a similar experience… I know men love shoving stuff down their pee hole, but I’ve never heard of a woman doing so. Has anyone else reading this accidentally mistaken their pee hole for their vagina? I would really like to know if you have, because I’m still traumatised.  

    I never did meet up with the guy I took the test for. I did however buy and successfully do another test which came back clear. I do them on a regular basis now, but am very careful about inserting into the correct hole. 

    Emily-Rose xxx