Sugar and Spice

Tag: Safety

  • Dishonest Sugar Babies

    Of course, not all sugar babies are as honest and genuine as I am, and I’ve heard first-hand what some sugar babies will do; blackmailing their sugar daddies, asking for additional money, threatening to contact their family or place of work if they don’t get what they want etc. Or alternatively convincing their sugar daddies that what they have is ‘special’ and ‘different’ to their other arrangements in order to manipulate them. 

    It happens all the time, women taking advantage of sugar daddies who have more money than sense, are naive and vulnerable, or only thinking with their cocks.  

    One of my sugar daddies for example was conned out of thousands of pounds by a sugar baby who lied about the death of her disabled son, and being unable to cover funeral costs. Of course, it turned out to be a lie; her son was alive and well (having been taken away by social services), and the money was being spent on drugs. He totally fell for her sob story though and helped pay off her debts, although had to involve the police when dealers started turning up at his house threatening him for money; it got really messy.   

    Turns out she wasn’t even single as she’d claimed to be, but had a boyfriend the whole time, no doubt at home getting high whilst she was out conning men to feed their habit.  

    How he managed to get himself into that situation I’ll never know, but he’s still paying financially for his mistake having totally over-extended himself for someone who was taking advantage of him.  

    Obviously, whilst I felt sorry for him, I couldn’t help but think how incredibly stupid and naive he’d been. She saw him coming and milked him (behave) for every penny he had. 

    Another sugar daddy (who didn’t have a lot of money) had a similar experience with a sugar baby he believed he had something special with. He gave her money towards buying a horse because he thought she genuinely liked him and that what they had was special; he was rather hurt when he realised that wasn’t the case. She knew exactly what she was doing though. She saw an opportunity to play on the fact that he had feelings for her and used this to get what she wanted. Her name’s been mentioned by a few of my sugar daddies, she’s getting a reputation for leading men on and breaking their hearts. 

    Unfortunately, girls like her give sugar babies a bad name, and make us look like desperate money grabbing whores, when in reality most of us aren’t, we’re just normal decent people trying to make ends meet. Nurses trying to supplement their income, students trying to get through uni; or horny women like me who just love sex and money.  

    By its very nature, the whole sugar daddy/sugar baby arrangement leaves both parties at risk of being taken advantage of, and there are plenty of dishonest sugar babies out there, just as there are corrupt coppers, bent lawyers and dodgy builders. It’s not the job that’s the issue; it’s just human nature… give someone power and they’ll be tempted to abuse it (just look at our politicians).  

    Being somewhat an ‘underground’ profession doesn’t help either. Men who have been conned by sugar babies feel unable to go to the police, because they feel humiliated and embarrassed. One sugar daddy who paid a girl that did a runner before ‘putting out’, felt unable to tell anyone about it; what would he even say? He didn’t think the police would take him seriously, that he’d be laughed at; so he took the hit and moved on.  

    At the end of the day though it’s theft, and she shouldn’t be allowed to get away with it. If you paid a plumber upfront and they fucked off with your money you’d be pissed off, but at least you’d be able to tell someone about it; when there’s sex involved it’s dirty and shameful, and somehow different though.        

    One of my other (married) sugar daddies got into a very difficult situation with a sugar baby who was trying to blackmail him. He realised that he had no option but to pay her, however decided to write ‘blackmail’ as the payment reference. The money left his account but was flagged by her bank as a dodgy transaction, immediately freezing her accounts. She was absolutely fuming and gave him a load of abuse down the phone; but didn’t bother him for money again. 

    It frustrates me that this sort of thing goes on, but as easy as it is to place the blame fully on the women involved, I think men need to take some responsibility here. Honestly, some men are just asking for trouble, they see a pretty face (or a nice pair of tits) and everything else goes out the window; they leave themselves wide open. Worse than that, many of them don’t even care; they have so much money that it doesn’t matter. They’ll send money to women they’ve never met because they’re fed some sob story about the dishwasher breaking or the kids needing new shoes etc; and are stupid enough to fall for it. 

    Maybe I’m just bitter because I’m too honest to expect something for nothing so I’m here working like a bitch whilst they’re doing fuck all; or I’m just jealous because I’m not pretty enough to merely flutter my eyelashes at men to get money. 

    However women have been screwed over by men for centuries, so I don’t blame the odd one for seeking revenge and wanting to fuck men over; especially those who are asking for it… 

    Anyway, it goes without saying that I don’t know the women I’ve discussed in this blog, I can only relay the stories told to me by my sugar daddies. I don’t know their individual circumstances and what led to their behaviour. Obviously claiming that your child has died in order to scam someone is a fucked-up thing to do, but I don’t know the full story. You have to be pretty desperate or mentally ill to pull a stunt like that, so let’s try to show some compassion… 

    If you’re thinking about becoming a sugar daddy or paying a woman for sex, just be careful. Don’t allow loneliness, desperation or your ego to leave you vulnerable. Be realistic about the situation and what’s going on and try to think with your head rather than your heart (or your penis). 

    Being a sugar daddy can be a wonderful and very rewarding experience, and there are lots of lovely sexy sugar babies out there who are genuine and caring; you just have to find them. 

    Till next time, stay safe. 

    Emily-Rose xxx  

    For advice on reducing the risk of being blackmailed, check out this post

    Advice for sugar daddies who want to protect their identity and avoid being blackmailed 

  • A risky business…

    It would be irresponsible of me to write about being a sugar baby without writing about some of the ‘not so good’ parts of the job. I’d hate to be accused of glamourising this type of work, because believe me, it’s often anything but… 

    Unfortunately, by its very nature, being a sugar baby is a risky job, but for some reason I am (and always have been) a bit of a risk taker; it’s just the way I am… impulsive and occasionally irresponsible.  

    Whilst I arrange to meet my sugar daddies in a public place, there are times when I’ve only a matter of minutes (or seconds) to decide whether they’re safe or not before I jump into their car, follow them back to their house, or go into a hotel room with them.  

    Whilst I like to think I’m a good judge of character and could defend myself, in reality most of my sugar daddies could overpower me if they wanted to. I’m incredibly lucky that I haven’t been hurt (without consent anyway), been forced into doing anything I haven’t wanted to do or been in a position where I’ve felt physically unsafe; however, I appreciate that I put myself in situations where this could happen.  

    As you know (if you read my blogs) I’ve done things that I wouldn’t want to do again, seen people I haven’t enjoyed spending time with, and been in some unpleasant situations; but thankfully nothing I haven’t been able to handle. There have been times when I’ve had to walk away from men who have been rude and unpleasant though, which whilst difficult, is not something I’m afraid to do. Like any job involving other people, you’re always going to come across the odd asshole (no pun intended). 

    Obviously having sex for a living comes with numerous health risks. Urinary tract infections for example are an occupational hazard when having sex with multiple partners, especially when anal is involved (men aren’t always careful about what they’re sticking where).  

    Sexually transmitted infections are also a huge risk, and whilst I’d like to say I always use protection, that would be a lie. Yes, I know I’m stupid to put my sexual health at risk, but trying to get some men to wear condoms is a real challenge, especially older men who have trouble maintaining an erection. Given the choice I’ll use protection, but I don’t force the issue.  

    I keep tabs on who I’m sleeping with and try to keep it within a closed network; however, being the sexpot I am, I do occasionally slip up (see my blog ‘disaster strikes’).  

    I’m honest with the men I’m involved with, they know I’m having sex with other men and that not all my sugar daddies use protection; if they decide not to, they know the risks. Thankfully it’s a rare occurrence; three STIs in nearly four years isn’t bad going, but probably still three too many! 

    Most of the time I’ll fuck a sugar daddy before taking or checking payment, as I don’t like demanding payment upfront or counting money in front of people (feels yucky). Whilst I’ve never not been paid, I’m always quite relieved when I open the envelope and find it’s full of money and not empty; that would really suck! I don’t know what I’d do if a guy didn’t pay though, I don’t think there’s really anything I could do about it… 

    A lot of my sugar daddies take me out and spend time with me in public, which can be problematic. I’ve been shouted at for being a whore, had people asking whether I’m a prostitute and how much I charge, and been in a situation where my sugar daddy was accused of being a whoremonger.   

    Unfortunately, if I’m out with a much older man it’s obvious what’s going on, and people will pass judgement, that’s just human nature. In general, men seem to be more ok with it then women; who can be quite judgemental and untrusting, like you’re morally corrupt and going to steal their man or something. That or they get jealous and want to put you down; women can be so bitchy. Men on the other hand just see you as a piece of meat, or an easy lay; which isn’t great either, but in many ways easier to deal with. 

    There are still unfortunately people who see women who work in this industry as an expendable commodity though; and believe that because of what we do we don’t deserve respect and should expect (or even tolerate) a certain amount of physical or verbal abuse as just ‘part of the job’. However, whilst it’s true that as a sex worker I’m putting myself in a vulnerable position, just as the men who engage with me are, it doesn’t mean I’m asking to be abused or disrespected, because I assure you, I’m not. 

    If I was abused or assaulted by a client, do I feel like I could go to someone for help without fear of judgement… no, probably not. Which is shit, because if I was doing a more ‘socially acceptable’ job it would be different; as a sex worker I don’t think I’d get the same level of empathy or support though… 

    Unfortunately, sex work has a bad reputation and is greatly misunderstood, most people don’t like to talk about it because it’s seen as dirty or dishonest in some way. Hopefully you can appreciate that sex work isn’t necessarily a ‘dirty’ or ‘shameful’ thing though, it can be done in a dignified and respectful way.  

    Although it is perfectly legal, sex workers are not safeguarded or protected, it’s very much an ‘at your own risk’ sort of job. We’re not given the same support as those who work in other industries, because society doesn’t like to admit that this sort of thing goes on or openly discuss ways to make it safer (as that would be like saying it’s ok). Not only does this put sex workers at risk, but it also puts the men who engage with sex workers at risk too. I’ve heard numerous horror stories from men who have been conned or blackmailed by sex workers but felt powerless to do anything about it; but that’s for another day.  

    To conclude, whilst I obviously enjoy my job (most of the time), I wouldn’t necessarily encourage all women to rush out and become a sugar baby. It’s not a job that would suit everyone, it takes a certain type of person to do this kind of work; which if I’m being totally honest with you, is probably not the kind of person you want to be.  

    For me though the rewards far outweigh the risks, and I can’t imagine doing anything else right now. 

    Till next time, stay safe or stay lucky. 

    Emily-Rose xxx 

    Disaster strikes