Sugar and Spice

Tag: relationships

  • Age and sex

    I know they say that age is just a number, and of course it is, but it’s a number that makes a difference. For me personally, I’ve always preferred and been attracted to older, more mature men, textbook searching for a father figure. etc..   

    Most of the men I meet are funny about their age, and the majority of men on sugar daddy sites lie about it. They’ll justify this by saying that they don’t look, feel or act their age, and that it’s just a number (in which case why lie then… hmm). One sugar daddy said he was compelled to lie because the women on these sites are unfairly ageist; whilst he himself would only see women at least 20 years his junior (oh the irony). In fact, I was only just young enough for him, he would have preferred it if I’d been in my 20s, something he mentioned several times (like it was something I could magically change). I would have preferred it if he hadn’t been such a twat, but there we go, you can’t have it all…  

    Obviously, I’m not immune to such vanities, and did think about taking a few years off, but decided against it, as I didn’t see the point. When you’ve had a child at 18, it’s difficult to lie about your age as you have to remember to adjust the age of your child, so you don’t end up accidentally implying that you had a child at the age of 12 or something. At the end of the day, I am what I am, pretending to be a couple of years younger won’t change anything. Plus, I’d rather people think I look good for 35, then bad for 29….  

    The majority of my sugar daddies are in their 60’s, though mentally still in their 20s or 30s; only the aches and pains, and alarming amount of prescription drugs they take remind them otherwise. Lying naked in bed together I’ll tell them that they’re only as old as the woman they feel, and there’s certainly something in that. Spending time with younger people definitely helps keep you young; and for lots of these men, being with me gives them a chance to relive their youth. Don’t get me wrong, there are younger men on the site, I just prefer older men; they’re more reliable and appreciative! 

    I have a few sugar daddies over 70 (my oldest being 76), who still manage to get it up (with a little help), and enjoy having sex. Turns out men are horny at all ages, no surprises there! I will say however, based on my experiences to date; that men start to go off when they hit 70 (no offence to any older men reading this). Maybe it’s a personal thing, but I’ve not enjoyed sex with men over 70 as much as sex with men in their 60s. Until 70 they’re fine, but after this point it starts to feel like hard work; the fitness level isn’t there, and the body is showing serious signs of wear and tear. Having said this, one of my best lays is 68; he knows exactly what he’s doing, and has a lovely big cock. If I’m still seeing him when he turns 70, then maybe I’ll have to revise my theory; no pressure Richard…. Maybe it comes back in their 80’s? I haven’t had sex with an octogenarian yet, so I can’t say, but it’s on my ‘to do’ list, just to say that I’ve done it (or done them more like).  

    If you think my ageist theory sounds harsh, bear in mind that men write women off at a much younger age… I was reading an article the other day which suggested that women like men around their own age or slightly older, whereas men like women in their 20s, regardless of their own age. Most men in their 60s are intelligent enough to realize that attractive 20 something year olds are unlikely to be interested in them, however not all (we’ve all seen creepy old men hitting on young women in clubs and bars…. they’re not interested mate…. fuck off). Only wealthy successful older men are attractive to younger women, it’s amazing how attractive money and success can make you. Never mind the size of your ego men, it’s the size of your wallet that really counts.  

    In general, I think that men in their 60s make excellent lovers and are much more attentive than their younger counterparts; maybe because it takes them longer to become aroused, or because they don’t want it to be over too quickly, I’m not sure. Whichever way, I like the fact that they take their time, and really appreciate my body; giving me pleasure with their fingers or their tongue before entering with their cock and getting what they want. I need this attention if I’m to come, and they are greatly rewarded for the time they spend ‘down there’. Most of my best orgasms and sexual experiences have been with older men.  

    On the negative side, it’s impossible to have sex with older men without occasionally thinking about what would happen if one of them had a heart attack or even worse died on me. Some of my men are carrying quite a bit of weight, so for a start I’d be seriously crushed, both physically and emotionally. Their death could make for some very awkward conversations with the emergency services, hotel staff etc, and difficult questions from their families. If it happened to me, I don’t think I’d be able to have sex ever again, I’d be traumatised. I’m first aid trained though, which is something; I could at least attempt CPR. Maybe I should add that fact to my profile, with my target demographic it could be a real selling point…  

    I must admit that I’m scared of getting old! I’ve seen the way men treat older women, how invisible women become once no longer considered young and attractive. I’ve studied evolutionary psychology, so know it’s not necessarily their fault, it’s just human nature. If our primary motivation (all be it a subconscious one) is to reproduce and pass on our genes, then it makes no sense for men to be interested in and therefore ‘waste time’ on post-menopausal women. Men look for youth and attractiveness (signs of fertility) in the same way that women seek out men with power and resources (so we’re not left in the shit when they get us up the duff); it’s hard to fight against thousands of years of evolution. Most of the men I see in their 60s say that they just don’t fancy women their own age, which is really sad! Men could do well to remember that older women have a lot to offer, not everything evolves around physical attraction. 

    Whichever way, what goes around comes around, and one day I’ll be old and infertile, and invisible to men. Until that point, I intend to milk my youth (nearly said body, but that sounded wrong) for all it’s worth. I don’t want to waste what precious time I have left. I will need an exit strategy obviously, but that’s a future me problem; like the men I fuck, maybe I’m also in denial about how old I really am.  

    Emily-Rose xxx

  • Disaster strikes

    (Warning: not for those of you who are squeamish)

    So, there’s this cute guy who plays pool in my local; I sometimes play with him (pool that is). He’s a bit of a ‘Jack the lad’, and I can’t help but fancy him; he fancies me too, I can tell by the way he flirts and watches me bending over to take my shots.  

    Now, I try not to fuck anyone other than my sugar daddies, but that’s easier said than done…. especially when I’m drunk and horny (basically anytime I’m drunk). You can see where this is going….   

    One night I give in to temptation and take him back to mine. I don’t ‘need’ sex, I’m getting plenty of it, I just really want it. The sex is great; hard and fast, two young people who want to fuck each other’s brains out, doing just that. 

    He wore a condom, but it doesn’t survive our vigorous fucking, and after coming inside me, he withdraws without it. I rescue it from my sticky vagina, I know I’m not pregnant, so forget about it; until a few weeks later when I get the dreaded text stating that one of my sexual partners has tested positive for Chlamydia.  

    Now, given my numerous sexual experiences, and total lack of self-control, I’ve had Chlamydia before, but don’t have time to fuck about getting tested. Time is money, and I need to be able to work, so I order the appropriate antibiotics and check my spreadsheet to see who I need to contact (yes, I have a spreadsheet). Two of my sugar daddies who don’t wear protection get unlucky, but thankfully, and much to my relief, no one else is affected. I vow to be more careful in future; and think no more of it. 

    Fast forward a month and I’m messaged by a married man who’s coming down for business and wants a one-off thing. He’s not had sex with anyone but his wife for 19 years; and can’t use condoms, something I hear a lot… they don’t work for him, it’s not the same, blah blah blah, usual excuses. I explain that I have a coil fitted, but prefer using protection to ensure we’re both safe. He assures me that he’s ‘clean’ but wants to know if I’ve had any issues, and how many men I fuck without protection etc; suddenly concerned about infecting his wife, what a considerate husband, good job I brought it up….  

    I recall my recent experience of Chlamydia, and realize that I never tested after treating myself, just to check the antibiotics worked; I feel healthy, but can’t be 100% sure. I obviously don’t want to put him or his marriage at risk, so buy a test kit, and tell him that I’ll test before we meet. 

    If you’ve ever tested yourself, you know it’s fairly simple. You have a long cotton wool bud that you insert into your vagina, twist around, pull out, stir in a solution, and pour a few drops over what looks like a covid test strip. Idiot proof, what could possibly go wrong…. I check the instructions, annoyingly you have to wait at least an hour after weeing before testing, and I really need a wee now. I can’t be arsed to come back later though, so ignore my full bladder, and go for it; it’ll only take a minute.   

    I squat, spread my pussy lips and insert the cotton bud. It feels really uncomfortable going in; maybe my vagina’s a bit dry, or tense because I’m desperate for a wee. Either way, I persevere, pushing it up as far as I can, ignoring the increasingly unpleasant feeling. I twist it around and try to pull it out; it doesn’t want to move though, and the more I pull, the more it hurts. I feel wetness as urine trickles along the plastic stick and onto the floor; I really need to get this thing out before I wee all over it, if I get it wet it won’t work. I stand over the toilet, frantically trying to pull it out whilst trying not to wee everywhere, but it’s not working; it’s really hurting. My legs are shaking and I’m starting to panic; I can feel beads of sweat forming on the back of my neck. By this point I don’t even care whether the test will work, I just want the bloody thing out.  

    Eventually I can’t hold on any longer and have no choice but to wee. I hold the end of the swab whilst doing so, as even the slightest movement hurts. A tidal wave of wee gushes over my hand as I let go; it hurts and it’s uncomfortable, but at least I don’t feel like my bladder is about to explode anymore. I’ve totally fucked up the test now, but I don’t care. I try again to pull the wretched thing out, but my vagina seems to be clamped around it. The pain is almost unbearable, and liquid is still trickling down the plastic stick and into the toilet…. It’s a strange sensation, like I want to come and squirt everywhere. Every time I move the stick, my pussy spasms and a fresh wave of liquid escapes, causing a weird feeling of pleasure and pain.  

    I’m stuck and I don’t know what to do. I’m hot, sweaty, crying and leaking; stood over the toilet, too scared to move, feeling like my legs could give way at any moment. It’s at this point that I suddenly remember my contraceptive coil; maybe the cotton bud is twisted around the threads of my coil, or I’ve dislodged it and perforated my insides. I try to twist the swab in the opposite direction, thinking that maybe I can untangle it; but I can’t twist it at all, it’s stuck and won’t budge, any attempt just results in more pain; I’m basically fucked!  

    For a moment I seriously consider whether I can wrap a towel around my waist and walk to the hospital, though quickly realize that’s impossible. I have no other choice, for the first time in my life, I dial 999. I’m panicking, but hold it together whilst I explain to the operator what’s happened. She takes my details and explains that the ambulance service is under a great deal of pressure; it could be several hours before they get to me. She asks if someone could drive me to the hospital. I look down between my legs… I can hardly move, I’m leaking everywhere, and have 10cms of plastic stick poking out of my vag, I’m like a fucking human lollipop, I don’t think she understands my predicament; but having no choice, I tell her I’ll try, and hang up. I take a couple of steps, legs spread, hands grasping my stick, piss trickling down my legs; it’s no good, I don’t think I can make it down the stairs, let alone to the hospital. Nope, I’m going to have to deal with this myself. With great effort I get on my knees, and lean forward against the bath. I Google how to remove a coil at home, because it’s clearly twisted around the swab, and I’m not going to get the swab out without also removing my coil. The results are encouraging, it’s not impossible to do; yes, you may do some serious damage, but what choice do I have. If I remove it and start bleeding everywhere, at least I might be able to close my legs and make it to the hospital; I have to do something. Feeling between my legs, I find the opening to my vagina; it’s closed tight, poor thing. I prize it open, careful not to disturb the swab; inside I can feel the walls of my vagina, but not the swab…. what the fuck!! I put my phone on selfie mode and slide it between my legs, trying to make sense of what’s going on. Droplets of wee cover the screen, but I can just make out my vagina, and the swab sticking out… the swab is not in my vagina though. I Google the female anatomy, not quite believing what I’ve done; I’ve inserted the swab into my urethra.  

    I’m both horrified and relieved. On one hand, it’s obviously not caught on my coil, pulling it out might hurt like a bitch, but it’s not going to rip out my coil and my uterus with it. On the other hand, what the fuck! How did I manage to push a swab all the way up there, I didn’t even realize that was possible…though obviously it is.  

    Now I’m confident I’m not going to kill myself; I try to relax and pull it out. It really hurts, but thankfully I eventually manage it. The tip is covered in blood, have I impaled myself or damaged my bladder? I try to Google what happens when you accidentally shove a fat cotton bud up your pee hole; Google is less helpful this time.  

    I’m relieved that it’s out, but still experiencing pain. I feel the urge to wee, but nothing happens, and when it does, it burns to the point that tears roll down my face and I cry out in pain. 

    I climb into the shower, thinking that the warm water may help ease the pain; I pee again, it still burns, but the water helps. I lie in the bath, the warm water running over my belly and between my legs. Exhausted after such an ordeal, I consider whether I could sleep in the bath, with the shower running, but decide against it; I need to get myself checked out.  

    I dress, and walk in the rain to the hospital. I can’t find my shoes so I’m wearing my gardening Crocs, I don’t care though; I just want tonight to be over.  

    Thankfully A&E is quiet, so I’m not waiting long. I explain, for the second time that night, what’s happened; the nurse is sympathetic, and somehow manages to keep a straight face. My observations are normal, and she doesn’t seem too concerned, which is reassuring. It’s gone 10pm so there aren’t any doctors on duty, so very little she can do. She tells me that my urethra is experiencing trauma, which will ease in time; yeah…it’s not the only one. I tell the nurse how silly I feel, that I can’t believe I managed to do something so stupid. She assures me that it happens to us all, something I very much doubt. She tells me to go home and rest, the doctor will give me a call in the morning.  

    Lying in bed that night, I wonder how many women have had a similar experience… I know men love shoving stuff down their pee hole, but I’ve never heard of a woman doing so. Has anyone else reading this accidentally mistaken their pee hole for their vagina? I would really like to know if you have, because I’m still traumatised.  

    I never did meet up with the guy I took the test for. I did however buy and successfully do another test which came back clear. I do them on a regular basis now, but am very careful about inserting into the correct hole. 

    Emily-Rose xxx

  • Setting boundaries

    I try to set clear boundaries with my sugar daddies, as it’s important for both parties to know exactly what the arrangement is and where they stand. I say ‘try’, because it’s not something I’m particularly good at, but something I’m working on; along with numerous other things… 

    One thing I make very clear is that I’m not looking for a romantic relationship, or to fall in love; a conversation we usually have before we meet, whilst discussing what we are looking for and negotiating the money side of things. The L word is banned, a line not to be crossed by either party; I don’t want them to fall for me, and I certainly won’t be falling for them. There are a few who get carried away and need reminding; especially after a few drinks. On the odd occasion that the L word has slipped out in the heat of the moment or whispered in bed when they think I’m asleep; I pretend not to have heard (classic conflict avoidance), whilst making a mental note to create some distance and not encourage such behaviour. As for me, this is something I don’t mess up on, I’ve never dropped the L bomb with any of my sugar daddies; not because I’m heartless (although maybe I am), but because I think the L word should be special and actually mean something, not just used willy-nilly. I also don’t want to mislead any of my men or give them false hope, as that would just be cruel. I’m affectionate towards my sugar daddies, and genuinely care about the men I see, but that’s as far as it goes. 

    Being involved with older men is helpful in maintaining boundaries, as due to the age difference, they know they could never be (and probably wouldn’t want to be) in an actual relationship with me; it’s never going to be anything but a no strings sugar daddy/ sugar baby arrangement. Although one of my sugar daddies (in his seventies), says that if he were 20 years younger, he’d have married me and impregnated me several times; a scary thought indeed. 

    One boundary that’s very important is keeping my sugar daddies and my family life separate. Being a single Mum, it’s amazing how many sugar daddies want to meet my daughter or buy her presents; which I find a bit creepy! I make it clear that my daughter is not part of the deal, and I’m not going to start giving her stuff from random men she doesn’t know. As with any rule there are exceptions, and my daughter has met a few of my sugar daddies, and been given a few little things, but not often. 

    As a general rule, I try not to ‘shit on my own doorstep’, metaphorically speaking (though literally too I guess). I don’t like getting involved with men too close to home, as I don’t want to be bumping into sugar daddies when I’m not working, or dealing with angry wives or girlfriends if something goes wrong. So far that’s worked well, and I haven’t had any issues; I only have one sugar daddy who lives within a few miles of me, and I never see him when I’m out. 

    As you can probably imagine, men can become quite demanding and needy if you’re not careful, especially when there’s money involved. They can feel entitled and like they should be able to access you anytime, day or night; which isn’t practical and can feel overwhelming. They forget that they’re not the only person in your life, or the only one you’re talking to; or even the only man you have an arrangement with. If all my sugar daddies messaged me several times a day, I wouldn’t have any kind of life, I’d literally just spend all day on my phone, which would do my head in. At times I’ve had to ask sugar daddies to back off and give me some space. It’s a fine balancing act though between keeping communication open in-between meetings, keeping the spark alive, and keeping them interested; without feeling like you are being harassed and wanting to tell them all to fuck off.  

    Video calls can actually fuck off though, so don’t even bother trying; I’m not sat at home looking sexy on the off chance that someone’s going to video call me… Having said that, those who have, don’t seem to care what I look like; so maybe I overestimate the difference that makeup etc makes, or underestimate men’s ability to see beyond such things. I mean, some of my sugar daddies have seen me looking pretty rough, like crying and blowing snot bubbles rough, yet still want to bang me and pay for the pleasure; though normally after I’ve stopped crying. 

    Whilst most sugar daddies behave and follow the rules, there are always a few who push their luck. Men who have no intention of ever meeting up, who send unsolicited dick pics in the hope that I’ll send nudes in return; it’s annoying as they (dick pics) do nothing for me, and I don’t have the time or energy to be sending stuff for free. Same with videos, I’m not swapping videos, if you want to see me wanking, go to my OnlyFans page and pay like everyone else. I can’t pay my bills with dick pics; if I could… I’d be set for life. 

    I don’t mind my regulars asking for stuff, but I can’t cope with the ‘what are you wearing/doing right now’ requests, which are just tiresome! Like I have nothing better to do, then drop everything and spend ages trying to take a flattering photo of myself washing the dishes or doing the laundry, you really need to see that? For my own sanity, and because it makes me irritable, I don’t rush to send a reply but will respond in my own time, if and when convenient. 

    As with any job, there needs to be a work-life balance, though inevitably due to the nature of the work, the antisocial hours, and the fact that I’m always hustling and lining up jobs, the balance can get a bit out of whack. At times I’ve definitely over-extended myself; too many late nights and different men leaving me physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. Overtime I’ve learnt to create a better balance, though inevitably I still burn the candle at both ends, because I’m an idiot; and I like having fun and making money.   

    When things become too much, which they sometimes do, I’ll put my phone on airplane mode for a few hours, or block out a few days to either rest or catch up with friends. My phone is on silent overnight anyway, so I’m not disturbed when I’m sleeping; and whilst there are often several messages waiting for me in the morning, no-one gets a reply until I’ve had my morning cuppa. 

    At the end of the day, I know that if any of my sugar daddies are being too demanding or unreasonable, I can just end the arrangement. I’ve had to do this a few times when men have become too emotionally involved or not respected my boundaries. It’s not my favourite thing to do, and I’m not very good at it; I’m far too nice, and they always want to stay in touch and be friends afterwards. It can be hard when someone has opened up to you and told you how lonely they are, but I have to be strong and remind myself that I can’t look after everyone and give all the time. Ultimately, as harsh as it sounds, if I’m no longer benefitting from a sugar daddy being in my life, then I have to let them go. 

    As a sugar baby you give a lot to other people, which doesn’t always leave a lot left for yourself. It’s true what they say though, that you need to fill your own cup before you fill other peoples. So, on that note, I’m going to sit in the sun and enjoy a nice cup of tea; and leave my phone inside.  

    Look after yourself!

    Emily-Rose xxx

  • Physical attraction

    One of my sugar daddies looks like Sir David Attenborough, from a certain (and very specific) angle. I didn’t notice this until I was sat on his face the other day, and I looked down and saw Sir David looking up from between my thighs (yes, that’s the angle). For some reason this amused me greatly, however I didn’t say anything at the time, as I didn’t want to distract him. Unfortunately, whilst he looks like Sir David, he doesn’t have his sexy voice, or his fame and fortune; but then you can’t have it all.  

    Am I always physically attracted to my sugar daddies; no of course not. For me personally, attractiveness has never been the most important thing though; after all, how do we even define attractiveness… I know there’s lots of science around symmetrical facial features and other physical traits that indicate genetic fitness etc, but at the end of the day, what you find attractive is subjective, and varies so much from person to person, it’s impossible to define.

    My own theory on attractiveness is that when you first lay eyes on someone, you immediately know how attractive you find them; however, this changes over time as you get to know them better and learn more about their personality.

    The plainest looking person can transform into a vision of beauty, whilst a conventionally attractive person can lose all their charm and start to look quite ugly if they’re not a nice person. Personality (for me anyway) has a huge impact on how attractive someone is, so don’t worry if you’re not considered ‘conventionally attractive’, it’s not the be all and end all. Thankfully, most of the sugar daddies I’ve been involved with have become more attractive over time. Testament to their personalities maybe, or because I’m actively looking for things to find attractive about them in order to make my job easier, who knows; they do say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder…  

    Talking of eyes, it’s true that they are the window to the soul, and I have a real thing for soulful eyes. Lots of my older sugar daddies have that twinkle that men of a certain age seem to acquire, that little glimmer that lets you know they’ve still got it. I love the laughter lines and wrinkles, and the way they crease when they smile; each line telling a story of joy, sorrow, happiness and heartbreak. One of my sugar daddies has the most amazing ice blue eyes, I could get lost in them for hours. 

    Smell is also important when it comes to attraction, and you can’t beat a man who smells nice. I know there’s research into how our natural body odours and pheromones attract those with complimentary immune systems, to create healthy young etc (good old evolution), but don’t rely on your sweaty armpits to do all the work. Invest in some high-quality aftershave or cologne; you can thank me later.   

    In my humble opinion, the most attractive quality a man can have (after a thick wallet and girthy cock obviously) is confidence. I think in general, women are attracted to confident men as it makes them feel safe and secure. I don’t necessarily mean the loud, extroverted confidence (I’m not talking about arrogance here), but the quiet, calm, inner confidence and assertiveness that lots of attractive and successful men possess.

    Some men think they need to be attractive in order to be confident, however I think it can work the other way round. If you act confidently (even if you’re faking it) you will come across as more attractive and desirable, which will make you feel more confident, and thus look more attractive etc, it’s win/win.

    Being funny is obviously another highly attractive quality, and it’s quite true that a man can laugh a woman into bed (or certainly this woman anyway), however being funny is slightly harder to fake, so maybe give that one a miss if that’s not who you are. There’s nothing worse than a man trying to be funny to impress a woman and totally missing the mark; it just looks a bit desperate.

    Having a sexy accent is another winner; again, not really something you can fake, but great if you’ve got one. I’ve just started talking to a sugar daddy in Ireland who likes to send me voice notes. His voice is so sexy, that just hearing him talk makes my panties wet, I don’t even care what he looks like, that’s why eyelids were invented; I’ll take his Irish cream any day. 

    As a sugar baby I like to be inclusive and don’t normally rule out men based on the way they look, unless I think they’re so unattractive that I couldn’t possibly go there (the bar is fairly low though). Obviously, I have a ‘type’, and there are physical traits that I find particularly attractive, but it’s been interesting getting involved with and having sex with men who I wouldn’t normally look twice at, as sometimes they can really surprise you; it definitely pays not to judge a book by its cover.

    I actually find that less attractive men are often better in bed; I’m not sure whether it’s because they can’t rely on their looks, or because they feel like they have something to prove or make up for, but either way, they’re often more skilled and less selfish than their more attractive counterparts. I’m sure the same could be said for women… 

    Luckily, I’ve always had a bit of a thing for older men, which certainly helps in this line of work, as there are lots of older men looking for sugar babies, and they are normally the ones with free time and disposable income. I know that most of my friends couldn’t imagine having sex with the men that I sleep with, not for any amount of money; but for me it’s easy. Worst case scenario, you just close your eyes and imagine you’re with someone else; or alternatively, think of the money if that turns you on (which for me it does). Although I try to stay present when I’m with my sugar daddies, I’ve been guilty of doing this a few times, especially when they go down on me, although that’s normally because they don’t know what they’re doing and I get bored… 

    As for me, well the men I’m involved with must think I’m attractive, otherwise they wouldn’t be seeing me; as let’s face it, it’s not like there’s a shortage of attractive women out there to choose from. I believe that a lot of my attractiveness comes from my personality, the way I talk, and the way I carry myself; I have confidence in myself as a sexually desirable woman, and I think that comes across. I’m aware that my personality does a lot of the heavy lifting though; in the competitive world of being a sugar baby, I’m not attractive enough to be dull and boring, that’s for sure. I’m attractive enough though, and that’s all that matters really. 

    Till next time, stay beautiful!

    Emily-Rose xxx

  • Sex workers: Victims or sexually empowered women?

    Assumptions are often made about sex workers like me; such as that we are victims, we are being exploited by men, we don’t really enjoy what we’re doing, and only having sex for money through necessity. 

    I appreciate that this is the case for lots of women, I’m not going to start spouting some idealist bullshit about how everyone is free to make their own choices in life, because as lovely as that sounds, it simply isn’t true. Vulnerable women are often forced into the sex trade or prostitution because they have no other option, men will take advantage of women by offering money they can’t afford to turn down, or by threatening or coercing them in some way; men are capable of doing some pretty awful things in order to make money or get their end away. Women struggling with addiction may turn to sex work because it’s the only way to get the money they need; and there’s no doubt that homelessness, lack of employment or access to education, and poor health (both physical and mental) all contribute to the decision (or need) for women to sell sex for money.  

    It’s wrong to assume that all women who engage in sex work are in some way victims or being taken advantage of though, as there are plenty of women who do this type of work because they want to, and they enjoy it. For me anyway it’s very much a choice, and I don’t believe that I am being exploited or taken advantage of by any of the men who pay for my services. I have chosen to put myself out there as a sugar baby, and advertise on sites that allow me to set out exactly what I’m looking for and what I have to offer. I’m in full control over who I engage with and who I choose to see, if I don’t like the look of someone then I’ll ignore their messages, if they’re being a twat then I can block or report them; I certainly don’t feel under pressure to get involved with anyone, or do anything I don’t want to. 

    I genuinely enjoy being a sugar baby; I mean obviously not all the time, no job is perfect, but 99% of the time I’m having fun and enjoy what I’m doing. I have done other things, had other jobs, and have a good degree, so could do something else if I want or need to, but I choose to work as a sugar baby because quite frankly I like the lifestyle, the freedom and the money. I love being around men and having sex, and enjoy being looked after and having (/being) a good time, so for me it’s the perfect job. I have no qualms about embracing and capitalizing on my feminine sexuality and my body to make a living, I don’t find it demeaning in any way, if anything I find it empowering. Men will always pay women for sex, they’ve been doing so since the beginning of time; the only question is whether they’re paying me or someone else… and I’m more than happy to take their money. 

    Of course, there are always going to be men who take the piss, but it’s up to me to say no and put them in their place; something I have no problem doing. Afterall, I know how much I’m worth and how much men will pay for my company; so if some guy messages me wanting a quickie in the back of his car for £60 (as happened the other day), I have no problem telling him exactly where he can shove his money. I know that I’m lucky to be in a situation where I can tell men to fuck off, but equally a lot of women doing this type of work are in the same situation; they choose who they work with, and in many ways hold all the cards. There are plenty of successful women out there who do this job because they don’t have the time or energy (or desire) for a traditional relationship, and find that these arrangements give them everything they need. Women who work as GPs, lawyers, teachers, who do sugar baby work on the side for the thrill of it, or because they want to maintain a luxurious lifestyle.   

    The point I’m trying to make is that whilst sex workers are occasionally put in vulnerable situations, not all sex workers are vulnerable women; it very much depends on the woman and her particular circumstances. If you’re paying a sex worker and you get the impression that she’s not happy or there through choice, then you’re likely taking advantage of her situation. If you’re driving around the streets picking up girls who are only having sex for money because they have no other choice, again, you’re taking advantage of a vulnerable woman in order to get your leg over. Don’t convince yourself that it’s some kind of charity, or in any way altruistic; you could just as easily buy her food or give her money without making her suck your cock or fuck you…  

    If you do want to pay someone for sex (and why not, it can be great fun when done properly), just make sure it’s with someone who’s chosen to be there, who enjoys what they do, and is in a position to say no. Having sex with a sex worker can be a wonderful experience for both parties if done correctly, and there are plenty of intelligent and attractive women like me who get off on having sex for money, so why not give it a try? You never know, you might just make someone very happy 🙂 

    Emily-Rose xxx