Sugar and Spice

Tag: humor

  • Pubic Hair

    I didn’t realize how controversial (borderline offensive) pubic hair could be until I became a sex worker; it seems to be something that everyone has an opinion on though. 

    I personally don’t mind having pubes, left to my own devices I’ll leave them grow, and just trim them back when they get annoying or unruly; I certainly don’t feel the need to be clean shaven or even that tidy down there most of the time. However, as a sugar baby I have to consider my sugar daddies and what they want. Obviously, if the guy I’m seeing tonight wants a hair free pussy but the guy I’m seeing tomorrow prefers the natural look, then one of them is going to be disappointed; however, I try to accommodate their preferences when and where I can. 

    Before meeting me, sugar daddies will often ask what the situation is ‘down there’, as it’s clearly important to them. Most of the guys I see prefer a shaven pussy or a tidy landing strip, not many men want the natural look….  

    I personally blame the porn industry for this; men (especially younger men) being so used to seeing hairless or neatly trimmed pussies that they’ve become accustomed to this look and find the ‘au naturel’ look unattractive. Or maybe it’s just women like me who work in the sex industry that are expected to look a certain way…either way, it’s a pain in the ass.    

    One guy I met up with insisted that I be completely hairless down there (and everywhere else on my body) as he considered pubic hair to be unhygienic. He mentioned several times how disgusting pubic hair was, and how important it was for me to be completely hair free.  

    Now, I don’t mind guys having a preference, we all have preferences, but this guy was being obsessive about it, and I had to reassure him several times that I’d be ‘clean’ for him. 

    I don’t think he was that intelligent, so I wasn’t going to argue about it or point out that pubic hair is perfectly natural and not disgusting or unhygienic; I just got my razor out and dutifully did what I was told (as a sugar baby you have to pick your battles).  

    It pissed me off that I was being made to feel almost ashamed about something perfectly natural though, like I was in some way disgusting; unclean and unshaven. I was so annoyed by his ignorance that I did some research into pubes and why we have them, in case he kept going on about it and I needed to defend myself. 

    Anyway, it turns out that pubic hair serves many important functions, which is obvious when you think about it, as otherwise we wouldn’t have it. 

    Firstly, pubic hair acts as a barrier, trapping sweat, oils and bacteria that can cause irritation or infection, and can prevent the transmission of bacteria and other pathogens during sex. As well as protecting us (to some extent) against sexually transmitted infections, having pubic hair can also reduce the risk of UTIs, vaginitis and yeast infections (something for us ladies to consider). The sebaceous glands connected to the hair follicles also produce an oily substance that moisturizes our skin and protects it from bacterial and fungal infections. 

    As well as all this, pubic hair traps pheromones (which help us attract a mate); and reduces friction between our genitals during sex, and our clothing when we’re dressed. 

    So, as long as you wash regularly (and thoroughly), then having pubic hair is not disgusting or unhygienic; quite the opposite. 

    On the other hand, removing our pubes can result in skin irritation, redness and itching, as well as ingrown hairs; and increases the risk of infections and STIs, especially if you’ve managed to cut yourself in the process.  

    Then of course there’s the time, cost and energy that goes into doing all of this and maintaining the ‘hair free’ look, honestly, I don’t know why we bother… 

    Actually, I know exactly why we bother, it’s because the beauty industry makes us feel unattractive (or not good enough) in our natural state in order to sell us expensive and unnecessary products to make us feel better. Another example of our capitalist (patriarchal) society creating and then profiting from our insecurities (and vanity). 

    Anyway, I personally didn’t have much experience with going completely hairless until I became involved with a dominant sugar daddy who insisted I be perfectly smooth whenever we met; and would inspect my pussy to check I’d done the job properly. I’d be punished if I wasn’t up to his (very high) standards, so I had to seriously up my game, investing in an expensive razor, moisturizing cream and after care oil in order to avoid the dreaded razor burn and annoying ingrown hairs.  

    Fortunately, my arrangement with that particular sugar daddy didn’t last long, so I was able to relax my standards again, and not continuously obsess over my pubic hair. 

    As with a lot of these things, as soon as the pendulum swings too far in one direction it’s faced with resistance and swings back the other way. We’re seeing this in the younger generation and their resolve not to give in to societal and cultural pressure to shave everything, but to embrace (and even celebrate) their natural body hair.  

    I’d love to be able to join the movement and not worry about my own body hair, however whilst I’m a sugar baby and working with men who expect me to look a certain way, I feel under some pressure to conform. Although, having to shave every now and then to keep men happy is a small price to pay for doing a job I love, so I don’t mind. 

    Men obviously shave their pubes for ‘hygiene’ reasons too, although we all know it’s actually to make their cocks look bigger; like that’s fooling anyone… 

    Obviously, I’m not going to dictate what my men do down there, but I actually prefer the natural look, or at least a trimmed down version. For me, pubic hair is preferable to red pimple covered skin, which is often what I’m presented with when I go down on a man. 

    Hopefully this blog has been insightful, and you’ve learnt something… I guess the important message I want to get across is that you should do whatever you feel comfortable doing and not let society (or men) dictate how you wear your pubic hair. And if someone does try to shame you into shaving or waxing your pubes because they think it’s unhygienic, tell them they’re wrong (or better still, direct them to this blog); if they still insist on it then tell them to do one. Noone has the right to make you feel bad about your body or force you to change anything about the way you look. 

     Your hairy(ish) godmother, 

    Emily-Rose xxx 

  • Setting boundaries

    I try to set clear boundaries with my sugar daddies, as it’s important for both parties to know exactly what the arrangement is and where they stand. I say ‘try’, because it’s not something I’m particularly good at, but something I’m working on; along with numerous other things… 

    One thing I make very clear is that I’m not looking for a romantic relationship, or to fall in love; a conversation we usually have before we meet, whilst discussing what we are looking for and negotiating the money side of things. The L word is banned, a line not to be crossed by either party; I don’t want them to fall for me, and I certainly won’t be falling for them. There are a few who get carried away and need reminding; especially after a few drinks. On the odd occasion that the L word has slipped out in the heat of the moment or whispered in bed when they think I’m asleep; I pretend not to have heard (classic conflict avoidance), whilst making a mental note to create some distance and not encourage such behaviour. As for me, this is something I don’t mess up on, I’ve never dropped the L bomb with any of my sugar daddies; not because I’m heartless (although maybe I am), but because I think the L word should be special and actually mean something, not just used willy-nilly. I also don’t want to mislead any of my men or give them false hope, as that would just be cruel. I’m affectionate towards my sugar daddies, and genuinely care about the men I see, but that’s as far as it goes. 

    Being involved with older men is helpful in maintaining boundaries, as due to the age difference, they know they could never be (and probably wouldn’t want to be) in an actual relationship with me; it’s never going to be anything but a no strings sugar daddy/ sugar baby arrangement. Although one of my sugar daddies (in his seventies), says that if he were 20 years younger, he’d have married me and impregnated me several times; a scary thought indeed. 

    One boundary that’s very important is keeping my sugar daddies and my family life separate. Being a single Mum, it’s amazing how many sugar daddies want to meet my daughter or buy her presents; which I find a bit creepy! I make it clear that my daughter is not part of the deal, and I’m not going to start giving her stuff from random men she doesn’t know. As with any rule there are exceptions, and my daughter has met a few of my sugar daddies, and been given a few little things, but not often. 

    As a general rule, I try not to ‘shit on my own doorstep’, metaphorically speaking (though literally too I guess). I don’t like getting involved with men too close to home, as I don’t want to be bumping into sugar daddies when I’m not working, or dealing with angry wives or girlfriends if something goes wrong. So far that’s worked well, and I haven’t had any issues; I only have one sugar daddy who lives within a few miles of me, and I never see him when I’m out. 

    As you can probably imagine, men can become quite demanding and needy if you’re not careful, especially when there’s money involved. They can feel entitled and like they should be able to access you anytime, day or night; which isn’t practical and can feel overwhelming. They forget that they’re not the only person in your life, or the only one you’re talking to; or even the only man you have an arrangement with. If all my sugar daddies messaged me several times a day, I wouldn’t have any kind of life, I’d literally just spend all day on my phone, which would do my head in. At times I’ve had to ask sugar daddies to back off and give me some space. It’s a fine balancing act though between keeping communication open in-between meetings, keeping the spark alive, and keeping them interested; without feeling like you are being harassed and wanting to tell them all to fuck off.  

    Video calls can actually fuck off though, so don’t even bother trying; I’m not sat at home looking sexy on the off chance that someone’s going to video call me… Having said that, those who have, don’t seem to care what I look like; so maybe I overestimate the difference that makeup etc makes, or underestimate men’s ability to see beyond such things. I mean, some of my sugar daddies have seen me looking pretty rough, like crying and blowing snot bubbles rough, yet still want to bang me and pay for the pleasure; though normally after I’ve stopped crying. 

    Whilst most sugar daddies behave and follow the rules, there are always a few who push their luck. Men who have no intention of ever meeting up, who send unsolicited dick pics in the hope that I’ll send nudes in return; it’s annoying as they (dick pics) do nothing for me, and I don’t have the time or energy to be sending stuff for free. Same with videos, I’m not swapping videos, if you want to see me wanking, go to my OnlyFans page and pay like everyone else. I can’t pay my bills with dick pics; if I could… I’d be set for life. 

    I don’t mind my regulars asking for stuff, but I can’t cope with the ‘what are you wearing/doing right now’ requests, which are just tiresome! Like I have nothing better to do, then drop everything and spend ages trying to take a flattering photo of myself washing the dishes or doing the laundry, you really need to see that? For my own sanity, and because it makes me irritable, I don’t rush to send a reply but will respond in my own time, if and when convenient. 

    As with any job, there needs to be a work-life balance, though inevitably due to the nature of the work, the antisocial hours, and the fact that I’m always hustling and lining up jobs, the balance can get a bit out of whack. At times I’ve definitely over-extended myself; too many late nights and different men leaving me physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. Overtime I’ve learnt to create a better balance, though inevitably I still burn the candle at both ends, because I’m an idiot; and I like having fun and making money.   

    When things become too much, which they sometimes do, I’ll put my phone on airplane mode for a few hours, or block out a few days to either rest or catch up with friends. My phone is on silent overnight anyway, so I’m not disturbed when I’m sleeping; and whilst there are often several messages waiting for me in the morning, no-one gets a reply until I’ve had my morning cuppa. 

    At the end of the day, I know that if any of my sugar daddies are being too demanding or unreasonable, I can just end the arrangement. I’ve had to do this a few times when men have become too emotionally involved or not respected my boundaries. It’s not my favourite thing to do, and I’m not very good at it; I’m far too nice, and they always want to stay in touch and be friends afterwards. It can be hard when someone has opened up to you and told you how lonely they are, but I have to be strong and remind myself that I can’t look after everyone and give all the time. Ultimately, as harsh as it sounds, if I’m no longer benefitting from a sugar daddy being in my life, then I have to let them go. 

    As a sugar baby you give a lot to other people, which doesn’t always leave a lot left for yourself. It’s true what they say though, that you need to fill your own cup before you fill other peoples. So, on that note, I’m going to sit in the sun and enjoy a nice cup of tea; and leave my phone inside.  

    Look after yourself!

    Emily-Rose xxx