Sugar and Spice

Tag: health

  • Tony – The perfectionist who wanted it all

    So, Tony was perfect on paper… late 50s, single, looked after himself, lived in a big house, had a nice car, and loved to cook; what more could you ask for. He was generous, and looking for a regular fortnightly arrangement, promising to pay well, and treat me like a lady. As I said, sounded perfect; but like anything that sounds too good to be true, it probably is… and this was.   

    Looking back, the warning signs were there from the start, when during our first meeting (a quick coffee) he was over the top and heavy handed with the compliments. It was creepy, but I put it down to nerves; it can be rather daunting meeting a sugar baby for the first time.  

    It wasn’t this though, as when I visited his house a few days later, he ushered me in, sat me on a chair and stared at me like I was a sculpture or piece of art; I wasn’t allowed to say anything, just sit there whilst he ‘admired’ me. I didn’t like it, in fact it made me feel quite uncomfortable; but I like to please, so sat there quietly cringing whilst he gushed over me!  

    Throughout the evening, he continued to tell me how beautiful I was, and how he was going to adore me, treat me like a princess, and give me the finest of everything; it was all too much. He was trying too hard, and it didn’t feel genuine; plus, it was triggering my imposter syndrome big time.  

    I hate being treated like an object anyway; I’m not that pretty and I’m definitely not the sort of girl who needs (or wants) to be put on a pedestal or treated like a princess. However it made him happy, so I sucked it up and let him get on with it; after all, I was being paid to be there so couldn’t really complain…  

    As I got to know Tony better, I began to realise how incredibly vain he was, and how for him appearances were everything; it wasn’t just his appearance that mattered now though, it was mine too. He wore expensive clothes, worked hard on his body (which I didn’t find attractive), and was particular about what he ate and drank; only the best was good enough for him. Now that I was his sugar baby, he wanted me to live by the same standards, to wear nice clothes (which he’d buy); and to eat well, drink less alcohol and work out every day to be in peak physical condition. I think he saw me as a ‘project’, he saw potential and thought he could transform me into his ‘perfect woman’.  

    Tony was obsessed with going to the gym and working out, which is fine if that’s your thing (good for you), but I’m not really a gym kind of girl; gin yes, gym… not so much. Tony wanted me to be like him and couldn’t understand my resistance, despite me explaining that I didn’t have the time, money or inclination to go to the gym. He was determined to help me get into shape though, so designed a workout plan that I could do at home. I said I’d give it a go, hoping that would shut him up and get him off my back, but it didn’t.  

    Despite his constant nagging, I wasn’t motivated or disciplined enough to work out every day and was honest with him about it. He was disappointed, and unable to accept that I was comfortable and happy the way I was. Yes, I’m lazy and a bit overweight, and I enjoy eating and drinking too much, but we can’t all be athletes, some of us need to eat Dominoes and binge-watch shit on Netflix…     

    I was starting to feel suffocated by his dominance, constant need for physical closeness, and obsession with perfection. He was also beginning to make it clear that he didn’t like what I was doing and wanted me to stop working as a sugar baby. I think maybe he thought he was saving me, but in reality, he just wanted control; he was jealous and didn’t want to share me with anyone else.  

    In the end it got to the point where I didn’t look forward to spending time with him, so decided I had no choice but to end our arrangement; we’d lasted less than 3 months together. 

    Despite ending it in the nicest way possible (it’s not you it’s me etc), he didn’t take it well, and I had several unpleasant messages from him, many commenting on how I was destroying my life and any prospects of a normal relationship in the future. He also thought it would be fun to threaten to tell my place of work about my sugar baby activities, a thinly vailed attempt at blackmail, which I really didn’t appreciate.  

    It amuses me how guys who pay for the services I offer as a sugar baby then feel compelled to comment on how ‘disgusting’ or ‘disrespectful’ my work is, and why I shouldn’t be doing what I’m doing. I’ve come to realise that this says more about them then me though, and the shame they feel about paying someone to spend time and have sex with them. They feel dirty, embarrassed or ashamed by their behaviour, and alleviate those feelings by projecting them onto me and making me the issue.  

    Of course, I don’t think my job is in any way disgusting or shameful, I enjoy and am very proud of what I do. I genuinely believe that I provide a valuable and much needed service, which lots of men (including him) find useful.  

    He tried reaching out a few months after it ended, wanting to reconnect and try again. He’d been seeing other sugar babies, but they didn’t have what I had…  

    I’m not sure why he’s continued to engage in a lifestyle that he finds so disgusting and ruinous for the young women involved, but that’s something he has to justify to himself. I just hope he’s not taking out his frustrations on the women he’s seeing.  

    I was very polite and told him that I’d moved on and wasn’t interested, I wasn’t prepared to open myself up to that kind of judgement and control again. I’m not going to allow anyone to make me feel shit about myself for who I am and what I do. I’ve worked too hard on my confidence and self-esteem to let someone who hasn’t got their shit together yet bring me down; I don’t need anyone projecting their insecurities or self-loathing onto me in order to make themselves feel better.  

    This was pretty early on in my career when I was inexperienced and naive, and less selective about who I worked with. If I met a sugar daddy like this now, I’d send him packing; I don’t have time for men who try to make me feel ashamed of what I’m doing. 

    As to whether my job will destroy my chances of finding a relationship in the future, that is yet to be seen. However, I’ve met a few guys recently who don’t seem to have an issue with what I do….so who knows. 

    Emily-Rose xxx 

  • Orgasm inequality

    Orgasm inequality is a term I’ve come across (or not haha) a few times recently; another inequality to add to the list… Yay! It’s definitely a thing though, and something I experience regularly in both my personal life and as a sugar baby. 

    If you don’t know what orgasm inequality is, it’s a term used to describe the disparity in sexual satisfaction (or orgasming) during sexual encounters between straight men and women; the ‘orgasm gap’ so to speak. Straight men orgasming far more frequently than straight women during their sexual encounters.    

    Unfortunately, the majority of my sugar daddies don’t make me come, most don’t even get close. My sexual interactions with them are focused on them getting their needs met; which is fine as to be honest I wouldn’t want to come with most of them anyway, I can do that in my own time. My orgasms don’t pay the bills, theirs do… 

    Having said that, it’s nice when I do come across (excuse the pun) a sugar daddy who can fully satisfy me. I have a few regulars at the moment who know exactly what they’re doing and how to make me climax; which is a real bonus.  

    Obviously both men and women enjoy a good orgasm, so why is orgasm inequality a thing? Why aren’t women getting their needs met in the bedroom? 

    I think there are several reasons for this, maybe the most obvious being that women rarely orgasm through penetrative sex alone, most need direct clitoral or g-spot stimulation, or at the very least some decent foreplay before penetrative sex. Therefore, if you’re having a quicky, whilst the man will come, the woman is often left feeling frustrated. 

    Rather annoyingly, when men become sexually aroused, which seems to happen at the drop of a hat (or some panties) they’re driven to get their cock into somewhere (or something) warm and wet; once they’ve done this and shot their load, they’ve little motivation for anything else. As far as they’re concerned, they’ve reached the finish line, and ‘sexy time’ is over; if you haven’t climaxed during this time, you’re out of luck…  

    Whilst some men are conscious about a woman’s need for stimulation and will focus on giving pleasure before getting their end away, others seem to think that a quick fingering before entering with their cock is sufficient, which it really isn’t.  

    I’d love to say that this is because men are selfish arseholes who only care about their own needs, but I don’t believe that’s true (not of all of them anyway); in many cases I think they just don’t know any better. Men can be quite naive when it comes to what woman want and need in the bedroom, and it’s this lack of awareness and education around female sensuality and sexuality that’s often the issue. 

    To be fair on men, us women can be complicated when it comes to our orgasms; hampered by the fact that our erogenous zones are hidden away. Let’s face it, you can’t exactly miss an erect penis, but the clitoris and g-spot are slightly more elusive.  

    It can also take time for a woman’s orgasm to build, and most women need to feel comfortable and in the right place mentally before they can fully let go and experience an orgasm. Add this to the fact that all women like to be touched and achieve orgasm differently, and it’s no wonder men are struggling (and often just give up).  

    Women can feel self-conscious about the fact that their orgasms are not easily achieved, or in some situations not going to happen at all, and therefore resort to ‘faking it’ in order to take the pressure of themselves or their partner. I’ve been guilty of doing this on numerous occasions; I’ve faked orgasms because it’s easier than admitting to not having had one. I’ve also been guilty of letting men think I’ve come in order to protect their egos (I’m really good at faking it); but what are you supposed to say when a guy says ‘wow, you came so many times’ or asks how many times you climaxed… If it’s someone who’s paying me, or it’s a one-off thing then what’s the point in being honest and hurting their feelings; sometimes it’s easier just to lie. 

    Trouble is, by being dishonest, or disingenuous about our orgasms (or lack of), we aren’t helping the situation. Men can hardly remedy a problem they don’t know exists. How are men expected to learn how to satisfy us if we don’t speak up about what we need and let them know that our needs are not being met.   

    The traditional role of women as ‘care givers’, and nurturers has resulted in women being less likely to speak up about what they want in the bedroom though (and elsewhere for that matter) as it feels somehow selfish. We’ve been conditioned into believing that sex is about men ‘needing’ a physical release, and that our needs are somehow less important.  

    Indeed, if we think of sex as the means to reproduce and create new life, it’s essential for the man to orgasm and ejaculate, to release the sperm that will fertilize the egg. At no point does a woman need to orgasm in order to become pregnant. From a reproductive perspective therefore, the female orgasm is irrelevant… a nice to have rather than a necessity. Men’s orgasms are essential for the survival of the species, women’s are not… but that shouldn’t mean they get overlooked; especially when most of us, most of the time are having sex for pleasure rather than to reproduce anyway… 

    Throughout history, women’s needs have been chronically overlooked though, it’s only relatively recently (historically speaking) that female self-autonomy and empowerment have even been a thing. Our traditional patriarchal society has encouraged women to please and be pleasing to men in the bedroom (and out of it), leading to men (straight men anyway) becoming complacent and in some cases quite selfish. 

    I’ve certainly felt the need to please men in the bedroom, felt under pressure to make them come, and endeavored to do so regardless as to whether I’ve been enjoying the experience or not; I’m not sure I can say the same for any of the men I’ve been with though. When I go to bed with a man, I know he’s expecting an orgasm, so if that doesn’t happen, I can’t help but feel I’ve somehow failed at my job. Men can get quite sulky when they don’t get their ‘happy ending’…. 

    A lot of my brief personal encounters (one night’s stands etc) have been very similar to my encounters with my sugar daddies (i.e. they’ve come and I haven’t). My long-term relationships have been different though as I’ve not been afraid to ask for what I want and need; and both my significant others have been more than happy to make me come first when asked (yes, I trained them well). Even then, I didn’t request or expect to come every time we had sex, there were plenty of occasions where they came and I didn’t, because I can enjoy sex without having an orgasm, it’s not the be all and end all for me; and to be honest sometimes I’m not in the mood or just can’t be bothered. 

    We all know that honesty and communication are vital components in a relationship, but it’s especially important in the bedroom. If you’re harbouring resentment towards your partner for not meeting your needs or fulfilling you sexually, you need to ask yourself whether you’ve communicated this and given them the chance to put it right. So many women in long-term relationships are having unsatisfactory sex, I mean how many women are with men who don’t know how to give them pleasure? It’s no wonder women get bored of sex and see it as a chore.  

    As a woman it’s important to speak up about what you need, and remember that it’s ok to receive pleasure, it doesn’t make you selfish; we are not accessories in the bedroom or merely objects in which to come (they can get a sex doll if they want that). It’s up to us to take ownership over our bodies and ensure that we are getting the most from our sexual encounters; if men are being selfish then we need to call them out on it, if men don’t know what they are doing then we need to teach them, it’s no good bitching about it behind their backs, we need to be proactive if we want change.  

    Yes, it sucks that women have to fight for their orgasms, but then we’ve had to fight for everything else… If we’re going to fuck the patriarchy though, we might as well get as much enjoyment from it as possible. 

    To the men reading this, I hope this blog has made you think about your behaviour in the bedroom and inspired you to do better. I know you’re not all selfish lovers, but many of you are and unfortunately need reminding that sex isn’t all about you getting your end away.  

    If you don’t know what you’re doing or what your partner needs, don’t be afraid to ask. If we work together then maybe we can start to bridge the gap.  

    Emily-Rose xxx 

    For tips on how to make a woman come, check out this blog…

    Top tips on how to get a woman to orgasm (or at least this woman) 

  • Balancing sex and sanity: the mental health impacts of being a sugar baby.

    Being a sugar baby (like any job) can have a negative impact on your mental health, for not only can it be physically draining, but mentally and emotionally draining too. Whilst I enjoy what I do, at times I’ve definitely overextended myself, on a few occasions waking up with one man, seeing another in the afternoon, and going out with a third in the evening; great for the bank balance, but not my mental (or physical) health.  

    As an empathetic introvert (all be it a sociable one), I find it tiring being around people for too long; I’m someone who needs time and space to recover. I give so much of myself to my sugar daddies though, that if I’m not careful I’ve nothing left for myself.  

    Hopefully you realise that I’m not just a sexual outlet for many of my men, but also a confidante, a friend, a therapist etc; and that can be a lot, especially if one of them is going through a tough time. I have sugar daddies who experience anxiety, depression and loneliness, and open up to me because they simply have no one else to talk to; sugar daddies who are grieving or going through marriage breakups who need a sympathetic ear or shoulder to cry on. It’s my job to be strong and provide a safe place where my sugar daddies can talk openly about their feelings and not have to be the ‘stoic man’ society expects them to be; for many of my sugar daddies the ‘pillow talk’ is an essential part of the experience, equally as important as the sex. 

    The sugar baby/ sugar daddy dynamic is an interesting one, being a unique relationship that transcends conventionality. The intimate nature of the relationship requires a certain level of trust and vulnerability from both parties; and the unspoken rule that whatever happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom (unless your sugar baby blogs of course). It’s not surprising then that sugar babies often take on the role of therapist as well as sex buddy.  

    I really enjoy this side of the job though and get a lot of pleasure from making people feel good; whether that’s physically, mentally or emotionally, it doesn’t matter, it’s all connected.  

    When life is good, dealing with other peoples’ problems is easy, however there have been times over the last 4 years when I’ve had my own shit going on, which has been difficult. I’ve lost my job, been through bereavements and had to deal with illness in the family; but I’ve never stopped working.  

    Most of my sugar daddies are understanding, and I can talk to them when things are tough, however they’re not paying to hear my problems, or to spend time with someone who’s feeling sorry for themselves, so I never make a big deal of anything. There’ve been times when I’ve been exhausted and at the end of my tether yet still turned up with a smile on my face, determined to make sure that my sugar daddy has an enjoyable evening, and leaves feeling happy and satisfied.  

    Of course, if things are really bad I can cancel, but it’s very rare that I do so; I don’t like letting people down, plus it’s bad for business. Trust me, there are plenty of other sugar babies just waiting to swoop in and steal my men, so I need to be consistent and reliable.  

    There’s also the fact that if I don’t work, I don’t get paid. I don’t have the luxury of sick pay or compassionate leave, so I just have to suck it up and get on with it. I can afford to take it easy for a week if I need to, but I can’t afford to stop for long or lose too many clients. 

    You have to be thick-skinned to be a sugar baby, as you’re constantly opening yourself up to judgement and critique. Every time I meet a new client there’s the possibility that they won’t like me or will find me unattractive. As a sugar baby you’re selling a product, and that product is yourself; if they don’t like it, it’s difficult not to take it personally. In many ways it’s similar to dating, in that you’re constantly putting yourself out there at the risk of being shot down or rejected, which isn’t always great for your self-esteem.  

    A few of my sugar daddies think it’s ok to make negative comments about my body or appearance, pointing out if I’ve put on weight or I’m looking tired etc, which can be a little insensitive. I don’t always feel confident or attractive, so these comments can get to me if I’m not careful and I have to remind myself of my own worth, and the fact that I am more than just a body. 

    Being a sugar baby can also be quite an isolating and lonely experience, especially, if like me, you don’t know anyone else in the business. I’m guilty of avoiding certain social situations, preferring to keep myself to myself; because I’m avoiding being asked what I do for a living, which is often the first question people ask when you meet. It’s not because I’m particularly embarrassed or ashamed by what I do (as I’m not), but because I can’t be arsed to continuously explain how and why I got into this lifestyle, and deal with all the questions. As a result, I’ve become a bit socially awkward, finding it difficult to open-up and make connections, and have forfeited opportunities to make new friends; which has left me feeling even more isolated and lonely.  

    Working weekends and evenings doesn’t help either, as I often miss out on doing things with friends because I’m busy; in fact, sometimes I’m not even invited, because they just assume I’ll be working. To be fair, I don’t think they realise how lonely I am, they think I’m fine because I’m out with a sugar daddy; but it’s not the same. 

    Even when I’m with friends who know what I do, I find it difficult to talk about it as my life is so different from theirs; unless you’re a sugar baby it’s hard to understand what it’s like. Most of my friends think my job just involves going out and having a good time, they don’t see the other side of it. 

    As someone who’s struggled with depression since a teenager and been diagnosed with a personality disorder (BPD in case you’re wondering), I know how important it is to look after myself and my mental health. It’s especially important when you’re looking after other people; after all, you can’t draw from an empty well.  

    Being a sugar baby allows me to work around my mental health issues and low energy though (a common symptom of depression), and I’m getting better at listening to my body and recognising when I need to take a break and put myself first for a change.  

    I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m moaning about my job, because I love being a sugar baby and am in many ways happier now then I’ve ever been. Nothing in life is ever perfect though, and we all have to take the rough with the smooth.  

    Keep smiling.  

    Emily-Rose xxx  

    P.S I intend to write a separate blog at some point about borderline personality disorder and how that (subconsciously maybe) influenced my decision to become a sugar baby. It’s something that’s not really talked about and something I want to raise awareness of, but that’s for another day.   

  • Virgin Island: Trash TV or a must see?

    If you don’t know what Virgin Island is, it’s a ‘documentary’ broadcast on Channel 4 in the UK, following 12 virgins who are sent on a therapeutic retreat /intimacy bootcamp in order to overcome their intimacy anxiety. With help from sex and relationship experts and surrogate partners the virgins are able to explore their issues around physical intimacy; with the goal of overcoming them and ‘popping their cherry’. Spoiler alert, only one guy actually loses his virginity, but that’s by the by. 

    If you think this sounds like some trashy reality tv show where vulnerable adults are exploited for our entertainment, don’t worry I thought the same. However, having been told to watch it by a friend, and now having binged the whole series (it’s only 6 episodes), I’ve got to say that I really enjoyed it and found it surprisingly insightful.   

    It’s not all focussed around sex and becoming sexually active, the experts take a holistic (bigger picture) approach running workshops around shame, gender expression and body confidence, as well as practical workshops on basic biology and non-sexual touch etc.  

    Self-acceptance and letting go of negative self-image and self-talk are key to the process, the experts explaining that in order to receive and give pleasure, you need to be comfortable in your body and present in the moment.  

    Just as in other therapeutic settings, the therapists use unconditional positive regard to nurture acceptance; and support the virgins in reframing negative inner dialogue and exploring new experiences in a safe controlled environment (all be it whilst being filmed for tv).  

    Exposure to sexual intimacy is approached in a respectful and sensual way, the virgins encouraged to stay mindful during the experience, tuning into their partners energy, and listening to their body and what feels good; a challenge for many of the virgins who struggle with negative internal self-talk, hence why the work outside the bedroom is so important.  

    The journey of self-discovery that the group go on is beautiful to watch, the change in each of them visible as their confidence grows and they learn to feel comfortable in their bodies. Many of the virgins must confront past trauma and let go of unhelpful ways of thinking before being able to open up and fully embrace the experience, and a few of the virgins have major breakthroughs regarding their gender or sexual identity which they are able to share with the group; the way they encourage and support each other is really endearing. 

    Some of the work around shame and past experiences is emotional to watch but sensitively handled. The vulnerability displayed by the virgins shows enormous bravery and courage, and just how much they want to overcome their issues and become sexually active. Whilst only one achieves their ultimate goal, they all make real progress; from being naked in front of someone else for the first time, to figuring out who they are attracted too and how they want to show up in the bedroom, they all leave the island better equipped to lose their virginity when the time is right. 

    The surrogate partners who explore sexual intimacy in a physical, hands-on way with the virgins are just brilliant; incredibly caring, supportive and patient. It’s interesting to watch their relationships evolve with each of the virgins over the series, as it’s a complex dynamic and like any therapeutic relationship can have its challenges; as demonstrated in one rather cringeworthy session with one of the virgins. 

    It’s great to see how empowered the virgins feel after their sessions with their surrogates (when it goes well that is) and how much they appreciate everything that the surrogates are doing for them; which for many of the virgins feels pretty lifechanging.    

    In case you’re wondering, a surrogate partner is very much as it sounds, someone who steps in as a partner in order to practice/ role play doing all the things you would want to do with an actual partner. Which in the case of the virgins on the show includes getting naked, learning how to touch and pleasure another person, as well as receiving pleasure; all done in a safe, controlled environment where consent, communication and connection are key. 

    I was so inspired after watching the show that I looked into training programmes re becoming a surrogate partner myself, but the only specific training I could find was in America, and involved a five day in person workshop in San Francisco which I can’t afford to attend at the moment, so that’s that idea down the drain. 

    I did reach out to a woman in the UK who does surrogate partnering (amongst other things), she seemed lovely and is probably great at what she does; but admitted that she’s very much having to figure it out as she goes along. It’s not really a recognised thing over here, and therefore not regulated, meaning there’s nothing to stop me from just setting myself up as a surrogate partner, after all it’s not that different to what I’m doing half the time anyway. I don’t claim to be a therapist though, and working with vulnerable people can put you in a vulnerable situation yourself, especially if you’re on your own; hence why surrogate partners often work alongside a trained therapist. All it would take is for one person to accuse you of misconduct and you’d be fucked… 

    Would I take someone’s virginity though? Absolutely, it would be an honour and a privilege. I’d love to make someone’s first time special, something they can remember and cherish. Becoming sexually active and figuring out who you are in the bedroom is so empowering, and losing your virginity is just the start of an exciting adventure of discovery and pleasure; those first experiences can be crucial in shaping how you feel about sex and view yourself as a sexual being though, so ideally you want them to be positive..      

    The show got me reminiscing about losing my own virginity, although I hardly remember anything about it now, I couldn’t tell you where I was or what he was called, it was such a long time ago and I’ve probably blanked it out. I don’t think it was a particularly enjoyable experience though, there certainly wasn’t any love, compassion or connection involved; I’m not even sure it was something I wanted to happen. Being underage, drunk and with no self-esteem or self-respect, my virginity was very much something that was just taken from me with little thought, no doubt from some selfish guy who felt entitled to my body.  

    For many people losing their virginity is a special experience and rite of passage though, a sign of maturity and having reached adulthood; being unable to achieve this can therefore understandably have a huge impact on a person’s self-esteem and self-worth, as articulated very well by the virgins on the show.  

    Regardless of whether you’re a virgin or not, it’s likely you’ll get something from watching Virgin Island, and who knows, maybe it will inspire you to try something new. 

    If you want to check it out, the series can be found on 4OD, give it a watch and see what you think. 

    Emily-Rose xxx 

    P.S. Whilst I may not have fond memories of losing my virginity, losing my sugar baby virginity was a very different experience….read about it here if you’re interested…

    Losing my Sugar Baby virginity

  • Sugar Baby tips on surviving a meal at a fancy restaurant

    1) Research the restaurant and dress appropriately: you may be a hooker, but you don’t have to look like one. If in doubt, ask your sugar daddy whether he has any preferences. I have some that prefer me to dress conservatively in public, whilst others the complete opposite… 

    2) Don’t order anything that’s going to be messy or difficult to eat. I love langoustines, but don’t really want to be fiddling around with my food, so usually stick to something that arrives ready to eat. If you don’t like your food looking at you then maybe avoid the fish, you never know when it’s going to come complete with a head…. I’ve never been served chicken with its head still attached (just saying). 

    3) Avoid eating anything too heavy or filling, especially if you’re going to be getting naked and having sex afterwards; feeling full and bloated is not going to help get you in the mood, so try and keep it light.  

    4) Pace your drinking with your sugar daddy. You can drink less, or drink slower, but not more or faster! They may be trying to get you drunk, but you don’t want to be plastered; being paralytic is not a good look. 

    5) Don’t flirt with or eye up other men! Yes, you may be sat opposite some fat, balding 70-year-old, and the waiter is your dream guy, but he isn’t the one paying for your company. Your sugar daddy should be the only one you have eyes for. 

    6) Don’t wear shoes you can’t walk in ( general advice really); you’ll just look like an idiot. Plus, you never know when you might need to make a quick exit.  

    7) If you’re somewhere really fancy and you’re not sure what to do or how to behave, watch those around you and mimic them. In certain places you are expected to act a certain way; don’t embarrass yourself by getting it wrong. Read the room and act accordingly. 

    8) Always have some interesting topics of conversation or amusing stories at the ready. If you don’t know what to say, ask your sugar daddy questions about their successes in life or about something that you know they’re proud of. People love talking about themselves, and having a captive audience. If you’re lucky and ask the right questions, you won’t need to say much at all.   

    9. Don’t be tempted to look at the bill when it arrives. Yes, you may want to see how much your sugar daddy is spending on you, and how much your meal has cost; but it’s not classy to ask and you don’t need to know. You’re sugar daddy will take care of it; and it doesn’t matter how much it is because you’re worth every penny!

    10. Finally, don’t forget to show your sugar daddy that you appreciate being taken out and treated to the finer things in life; a little gratitude does a long way. Most sugar daddies get a lot of pleasure from knowing that they are making you happy, so let them know when they’re doing a good job.

    Emily-Rose xxx

  • The wonders of Viagra

    I love Viagra, I think it’s great, and I know that lots of my sugar daddies use it, which I take no offence to; why should I? If I was paying for sex, I’d want it to be the best experience possible.  Afterall, if you’re planning on getting down and dirty with an attractive woman half your age, the last thing you want is to risk poor performance or getting over excited and shooting your load before getting your money’s worth; always best to play it safe and pop a pill.   

    Although I do recall an unfortunate incident during a first meeting with one sugar daddy in his 70s, when at the end of the meal he pulled out his wallet to pay the bill, and a packet of Viagra flew across the table. Both the young waitress and I politely averted our eyes, pretending not to have noticed as he quickly fumbled to hide them. I don’t know what the poor waitress thought when we got up and left together. I think she felt sorry for me; he was old enough to be my granddad. Anyway, we successfully consummated our arrangement later that evening, so it obviously did the trick. 

    A few months later, I introduced Viagra to another sugar daddy (also in his 70s) who was having issues getting it up. We’d spent a few nights together, but not managed penetrative intercourse, due to a significant lack of an erection, or to be honest, much there to get erect. He didn’t mind as he wasn’t expecting it to happen; it obviously hadn’t happened for a long time, so it wasn’t a big deal (pun intended). I felt sorry for him though, so decided to broach the subject head on and ask whether he’d tried Viagra, and was surprised to find that he hadn’t; in fact, he didn’t even know how he’d get it. I told him to leave it with me, and with only a minimal amount of identity theft and a few white lies, I managed to buy some online; which is obviously slightly risky, as I’m not a medical professional, and there are side effects to taking Viagra when you shouldn’t. Not wanting to accidentally kill him, I did ask him to check the very long list of health conditions and medication that do not mix well with Viagra. He said that there wasn’t any issue and that he was up for it (or at least hoping to be) so the next time we met, I handed them over and he enthusiastically swallowed one; before informing me that he’d not taken his blood pressure medication the night before, just in case there was a bad reaction (you need to be careful about taking Viagra if you have high blood pressure). The Viagra did the trick and we managed to have sex; all be it very rushed on the living room floor (I think he was worried that it was going to wear off). He asked me afterwards whether he should take another one, you know, because why wouldn’t you take one before and after sex?! I told him that under no circumstances should he take more than one a day, and I checked in with him several times during the evening, in case he was experiencing any negative side effects (I was actually quite worried). He did complain of some dizziness, but said that he experienced that anyway with his other medication, so didn’t seem too concerned. He’d already decided that he wasn’t going to take his blood pressure tablets that night either, just to be on the safe side, which didn’t seem like a great idea, but oh well. I didn’t stay over, so just hoped and prayed that he’d survive the night; which thankfully he did. Maybe I was irresponsible to leave him, however in my defence, he’s a fully grown man, and knows his body better than I do. If he thinks it’s ok to skip his medication, then who am I to argue. He’d done a lot of drugs in his youth (old school hippy), so clearly not adverse to taking risks and putting random shit in his body; if he survived a shitload of LSD and fuck knows what in the 60s and 70s, then I thought he’d probably cope with a single Viagra. It was totally worth it to give him his first erection in years, he was like a dog with a bone; or a man with a boner (all be it a very small one). He’s since been to his doctor, who was fine with prescribing him Viagra, and at a stronger dose then I gave him. He now uses it all the time, and is delighted to have his sex life back; and I’m happy to have helped him do so. 

     I don’t know why men feel embarrassed about taking Viagra but they really shouldn’t, it can enhance your sex life, and increase pleasure for both parties. The alternative to taking Viagra is being presented with a floppy cock that is almost impossible to do anything with. I’ve been in that situation a few times and it’s not a great experience for either involved. There’s nothing more disappointing than reaching down between your legs to guide him in, only to be presented with a floppy member. Having some old guy on top of you, dry humping you, desperately trying to get hard, but failing. In most situations a quick blowjob usually puts things back on track, but that doesn’t always work…  

    I’ve been with guys who have had issues but have not wanted to explore Viagra, either due to their male pride and ego, or because they don’t like taking drugs; there’s still something quite shameful or ‘emasculating’ about needing help in this department. I think that the people marketing Viagra are missing a trick though, as it’s often (in my experience) not just older men who struggle, but men who are very well endowered that have issues getting and maintaining an erection; if they can just run a campaign correlating the use of Viagra with having a big cock, then men would be rushing out to buy it, and wouldn’t feel quite so embarrassed about it all. There must be some research to support my big cock theory… not that lacking evidence ever stopped anyone. I can see it now though… ‘Viagra, for when your big guy needs a little help’, or ‘Viagra, the little pill that makes a big difference’; I’d happily front the campaign  

    Ever since purchasing Viagra online, I’ve been targeted with adds for erectile dysfunction, so I know exactly how sad and depressing the current adverts are. I can’t watch anything on 4OD without being reminded that my non-existent penis isn’t working properly. Not really what you want when you’re watching TV with your teenage daughter, and definitely not what I’d want if I was actually suffering from erectile disfunction; talk about rubbing it in. 

    Joking aside, Viagra is a useful tool, but obviously doesn’t work for everyone. I met a guy once who was nervous about meeting me, so took a Viagra beforehand, just in case. He managed to get hard, no problem, but no matter how much he wanted to come, he just couldn’t; in the end he gave up as it was getting uncomfortable and starting to hurt. I know another sugar daddy who tried Viagra, but the only thing it gave him was a headache. Maybe these guys were taking the wrong dose, or it was reacting with something else they were taking, who knows. 

    Viagra isn’t a miracle worker though, and men still need to be turned on in order to get erect; so regardless of whether they’ve popped a pill or not, if they’re standing in front of me with a hard on, I’m taking the credit for that bad boy.   

    Obviously if you are thinking about using Viagra for the first time and you have any sort of health condition, or take any other medication, it’s always advisable to talk to a professional first; and when I say professional, I mean a medical one, not the other type like me… 

    Emily-Rose xxx