Sugar and Spice

Tag: Blackmail

  • Advice for sugar daddies who want to protect their identity and avoid being blackmailed 

    Most relevant for married men, or those in high powered positions whose reputation would be negatively affected by their involvement with a sugar baby or sex worker.  

    1. Be wary of sugar babies who ask too many direct questions about your personal life, they may be looking for a way to blackmail you. They don’t need to know who you work for or where you live, and they certainly don’t need to know any details about your wife or children. Don’t be afraid to change the subject if it’s something you feel uncomfortable talking about or tell them straight that it’s none of their business (in a polite way, of course).  
    1. If using a fake name on a sugar daddy site, be careful when chatting on other apps such as WhatsApp or Telegram, as your profile may give away your real name; many sugar daddies have been caught out by this. 
    1. If you’re meeting a sugar baby straight from work (or in your lunch hour), don’t wear or bring anything with a work logo on it. The last thing you want is a sugar baby turning up at your place of work asking awkward questions or demanding to see you.  
    1. If you’re using a hotel, arrive first and check in before she gets there. Even if you’ve booked the room under a fake name (which men occasionally do), some hotels require ID when you check in. You don’t want to be whipping out your driver’s license in front of a sugar baby you’ve just met. 
    1. Do not meet in a place where you’re likely to bump into someone you know; the further away from home the better. As tempting or convenient as it may be to meet in the pub down the road, it’s not worth the risk, especially if you’re married. Lots of married sugar daddies are sensible and only use sugar babies when they’re away from home or traveling for work; they don’t shit on their own doorstep. 
    1. If you don’t want a sugar baby to know your real name, pay in cash, otherwise your name will appear on their bank statement. Just check she’s ok with cash first, and make sure you have it on you when she arrives. 
    1. Be aware that people can reverse search your images, so don’t use pictures on the sugar daddy site that you use elsewhere. Lots of sugar daddies like to use professional head shots that they’ve had taken for work or their linked-in profile, which can easily be traced. Don’t be afraid to blur your photo or restrict access, some profiles don’t have pictures at all but state that they’re available on request. I’ll normally respond to a sugar daddy who hasn’t provided a profile pic providing they have a well written bio, so it’s not essential; if you haven’t bothered with either though then forget about it. 
    1. Don’t write anything incriminating in your messages, some things are better discussed in person, especially if it’s sensitive or personal in nature; and definitely don’t send nudes or dick pics where you can be identified, you never know where those are going to end up. 
    1. Remember that if something is too good to be true, it usually is. Don’t let your ego blind you to what’s really going on. It’s a sugar baby’s job to make you feel special and good about yourself, it’s a job though, something she’s being paid to do…  

    Most of these are obvious and just common sense, but worth mentioning as I know how excited men get, and don’t always think rationally (or at all for that matter) when sex is involved. 

    Whilst I like to believe that most sugar babies (and people in general) are honest decent people, there are those who aren’t. So don’t be afraid to ask questions, shop around and not settle for the first sugar baby who catches your eye.  

    Despite the horror stories, there are lots of genuine sugar babies out there who are discreet and trustworthy, you just need to find them. 

    Emily-Rose xxx 

    To see why you may need this advice, check out this blog

    Dishonest Sugar Babies

  • Dishonest Sugar Babies

    Of course, not all sugar babies are as honest and genuine as I am, and I’ve heard first-hand what some sugar babies will do; blackmailing their sugar daddies, asking for additional money, threatening to contact their family or place of work if they don’t get what they want etc. Or alternatively convincing their sugar daddies that what they have is ‘special’ and ‘different’ to their other arrangements in order to manipulate them. 

    It happens all the time, women taking advantage of sugar daddies who have more money than sense, are naive and vulnerable, or only thinking with their cocks.  

    One of my sugar daddies for example was conned out of thousands of pounds by a sugar baby who lied about the death of her disabled son, and being unable to cover funeral costs. Of course, it turned out to be a lie; her son was alive and well (having been taken away by social services), and the money was being spent on drugs. He totally fell for her sob story though and helped pay off her debts, although had to involve the police when dealers started turning up at his house threatening him for money; it got really messy.   

    Turns out she wasn’t even single as she’d claimed to be, but had a boyfriend the whole time, no doubt at home getting high whilst she was out conning men to feed their habit.  

    How he managed to get himself into that situation I’ll never know, but he’s still paying financially for his mistake having totally over-extended himself for someone who was taking advantage of him.  

    Obviously, whilst I felt sorry for him, I couldn’t help but think how incredibly stupid and naive he’d been. She saw him coming and milked him (behave) for every penny he had. 

    Another sugar daddy (who didn’t have a lot of money) had a similar experience with a sugar baby he believed he had something special with. He gave her money towards buying a horse because he thought she genuinely liked him and that what they had was special; he was rather hurt when he realised that wasn’t the case. She knew exactly what she was doing though. She saw an opportunity to play on the fact that he had feelings for her and used this to get what she wanted. Her name’s been mentioned by a few of my sugar daddies, she’s getting a reputation for leading men on and breaking their hearts. 

    Unfortunately, girls like her give sugar babies a bad name, and make us look like desperate money grabbing whores, when in reality most of us aren’t, we’re just normal decent people trying to make ends meet. Nurses trying to supplement their income, students trying to get through uni; or horny women like me who just love sex and money.  

    By its very nature, the whole sugar daddy/sugar baby arrangement leaves both parties at risk of being taken advantage of, and there are plenty of dishonest sugar babies out there, just as there are corrupt coppers, bent lawyers and dodgy builders. It’s not the job that’s the issue; it’s just human nature… give someone power and they’ll be tempted to abuse it (just look at our politicians).  

    Being somewhat an ‘underground’ profession doesn’t help either. Men who have been conned by sugar babies feel unable to go to the police, because they feel humiliated and embarrassed. One sugar daddy who paid a girl that did a runner before ‘putting out’, felt unable to tell anyone about it; what would he even say? He didn’t think the police would take him seriously, that he’d be laughed at; so he took the hit and moved on.  

    At the end of the day though it’s theft, and she shouldn’t be allowed to get away with it. If you paid a plumber upfront and they fucked off with your money you’d be pissed off, but at least you’d be able to tell someone about it; when there’s sex involved it’s dirty and shameful, and somehow different though.        

    One of my other (married) sugar daddies got into a very difficult situation with a sugar baby who was trying to blackmail him. He realised that he had no option but to pay her, however decided to write ‘blackmail’ as the payment reference. The money left his account but was flagged by her bank as a dodgy transaction, immediately freezing her accounts. She was absolutely fuming and gave him a load of abuse down the phone; but didn’t bother him for money again. 

    It frustrates me that this sort of thing goes on, but as easy as it is to place the blame fully on the women involved, I think men need to take some responsibility here. Honestly, some men are just asking for trouble, they see a pretty face (or a nice pair of tits) and everything else goes out the window; they leave themselves wide open. Worse than that, many of them don’t even care; they have so much money that it doesn’t matter. They’ll send money to women they’ve never met because they’re fed some sob story about the dishwasher breaking or the kids needing new shoes etc; and are stupid enough to fall for it. 

    Maybe I’m just bitter because I’m too honest to expect something for nothing so I’m here working like a bitch whilst they’re doing fuck all; or I’m just jealous because I’m not pretty enough to merely flutter my eyelashes at men to get money. 

    However women have been screwed over by men for centuries, so I don’t blame the odd one for seeking revenge and wanting to fuck men over; especially those who are asking for it… 

    Anyway, it goes without saying that I don’t know the women I’ve discussed in this blog, I can only relay the stories told to me by my sugar daddies. I don’t know their individual circumstances and what led to their behaviour. Obviously claiming that your child has died in order to scam someone is a fucked-up thing to do, but I don’t know the full story. You have to be pretty desperate or mentally ill to pull a stunt like that, so let’s try to show some compassion… 

    If you’re thinking about becoming a sugar daddy or paying a woman for sex, just be careful. Don’t allow loneliness, desperation or your ego to leave you vulnerable. Be realistic about the situation and what’s going on and try to think with your head rather than your heart (or your penis). 

    Being a sugar daddy can be a wonderful and very rewarding experience, and there are lots of lovely sexy sugar babies out there who are genuine and caring; you just have to find them. 

    Till next time, stay safe. 

    Emily-Rose xxx  

    For advice on reducing the risk of being blackmailed, check out this post

    Advice for sugar daddies who want to protect their identity and avoid being blackmailed