Sugar and Spice

Tag: Anal

  • Sex Toys

    I love my toys, I have a chest full of everything from butt plugs, strap ons and whips, along with a collection of restraints and leather cuffs; I’m a sucker for anything leather (or faux leather I should say). 

    I started experimenting with masturbation aides when I was about 15, using an electric toothbrush to bring myself off after seeing someone masturbating on tv with one. It worked surprisingly well, and I loved the feeling of having something electronic buzzing between my legs.  

    It wasn’t long until I upgraded to the classic rabbit, purple with colourful beads rotating around the shaft. The dildo part didn’t do much for me (I had yet to discover my g-spot), but those flicking ears against my clit sent me into ecstasy.  

    It wasn’t until I got my magic wand that I discovered I could squirt; which was exciting, if not a bit messy. I’m hardcore so have a mains-powered wand; I don’t fuck about when it comes to my orgasms. They’re not made to last though (not the way I use them), I think I’m on my fourth one now; which is annoying as they’re not exactly cheap… 

    I love being edged with my wand, but you have to be careful not to desensitise yourself. If you tease yourself for too long then it’s difficult to come, which can be really frustrating.  

    I don’t use my magic wand that much anymore, as I prefer the smaller, more compact clitoral stimulators these days. I’ll often use one of these with a g-spot vibrator, which is more than enough to do the trick.   

    For some reason I’ve never been able to make myself come with just my fingers, I’ve always required help, which is frustrating if I’m away (on my own) without my toys and feeling horny. Using the shower head is pretty good, but again, not enough to make me come. 

    I don’t know why I can’t make myself orgasm without them…. maybe it’s because I’ve always used them so never experimented and learnt how to pleasure myself properly, or my pussy is desensitised from years of vibrators. Although I’m quite lazy, so if a machine can give me an amazing orgasm with minimal effort, then that’s what I’m going to do.  

    I used to think that no-one could make me come without my toys but have discovered that isn’t true as I’ve several sugar daddies who manage just fine without them; and whilst my orgasms aren’t a priority when I’m working, it’s always a bonus when I have one. 

    I do use toys with some of my sugar daddies; they’ll often suggest I bring my favourites so they can watch me bring myself off, or they’ll ask me to bring something to use on them. A few of my sugar daddies enjoy being fucked up the ass with a strap-on or being pleasured with a prostate vibrator; and cock rings are always useful for older sugar daddies who struggle to maintain an erection.  

    Occasionally a sugar daddy will surprise me by randomly pulling out a vibrator or another toy when we’re together, and whilst I don’t mind, I can’t help but wonder how many other women it’s been used on, and why they didn’t ask me to bring my own… 

    I on the other hand never surprise my sugar daddies with toys in the bedroom; I only bring them out if it’s something we’ve discussed and something I know they’re in to. Not all men want a strange object shoved up their ass, or to see me pleasuring myself with a toy when they’re there with the real thing, a few of them would be quite offended if I pulled out a vibrator in their presence. 

    I understand why some men feel threatened by toys though, I mean it must be a bit daunting to open your girlfriend’s bedside drawer and find a massive 10-inch cock when you’re 6 inches at best. Having solo fun with a toy is not the same as having fun with another person though, they’re totally different things; you can’t connect on an emotional or spiritual level with a piece of plastic (or I can’t anyway).  

    For men who are worried that toys are replacing them in the bedroom, and joke that they’ll soon be nothing more than ‘sperm donors’, that’s ridiculous. These are the same men who feel threatened by female emancipation in general though and yearn for a bygone era when women were dependent on men for everything; men with fragile egos who don’t understand or appreciate female sexuality.   

    Sex dolls are getting pretty advanced now, but I don’t feel threatened as I know that no amount of technology is going to be able to replace what I can offer as a real-life human being. Yes, lots of men would rather fuck a robot or a machine, but that’s their prerogative; and there’s normally a deep-seated psychological reason why. If a sex doll helps them get their needs met, then I don’t see anything wrong with that; plus, it’s not like there’s a shortage of men requiring the real thing…   

    Whilst I started using sex toys at a fairly young age, I stuck to the basics; it wasn’t until I started doing OnlyFans that my toy collection expanded and became more exciting as I could justify spending money on toys to create content. I bought certain toys to create specific videos which were requested by fans. I had so many requests to see me fucking a big black cock for example that I invested in a massive black dildo to film with (I didn’t have access to the real thing at the time so had to make do). I still have the dildo but rarely use it as I don’t want to stretch my pussy (have to look after the merchandise), plus I can access the real thing now which is so much better anyway…     

    I was always trying to come up with creative ways to film with my toys when I was doing OnlyFans, I made some pretty random videos; one of my favourites involving a suction cup dildo and an exercise ball. This was all during lockdown when I was bored and had far too much time on my hands though. 

    I’d love to be a toy tester for a company like Lovehoney though, I think I’d be really good at it; I’ve got loads of their stuff anyway. If anyone from Lovehoney is reading this then hit me up, let’s do a collab… 

    Like most things in life, sex toys are neither good nor bad, they’re just an aide which if used correctly can enhance our experiences in the bedroom. I don’t think anyone feels (or needs to feel) embarrassed about using them, in our culture anyway it’s fairly normal. I mean you can even buy them in supermarkets now; I’m not entirely sure who’s buying a dildo with their weekly shop, but I guess they must sell… 

    If you haven’t experimented with toys, then why not give it a go. Start with something basic and see how you get on; don’t be intimidated by the vast selection available, start simple. If you’re in a relationship and want to spice things up in the bedroom, then why not get your partner involved as well. 

    Whatever you do, have fun. 

    Emily-Rose xxx 

    Enjoyed this post….why not check out this one

    Sex toys in public places – when it works and when it doesn’t…

  • The ‘girlfriend’ experience: having a long-term arrangement.

    Jamie was the second man I met from the site and married when we met; but he and his wife were no longer physically intimate. The marriage was lacking emotional connection, conversation between the two being limited and transactional; what are we having for tea, have you put the bins out, etc; you get the idea. She was no longer interested in him sexually, or any other way for that matter; and he was feeling pretty shit.  

    Obviously, I’ve only heard his side of the story, and she might disagree, but the whys and the wherefores are almost irrelevant. The fact of the matter was that he felt disconnected and rejected, so did what people naturally do in that situation and sought connection and acceptance from elsewhere. 

    Jamie isn’t exactly ‘well endowered’ and his penis is noticeably bent (like properly bent in the middle) when he gets an erection; apparently one of the reasons, according to his wife, why their sex-life was non-existent. She didn’t think much of his penis, or what he did with it, regularly comparing him to her exes, who were all much bigger and better than him… of course. She made such an issue of it that Jamie considered undergoing surgery to straighten it, which would have resulted in losing some length, so thankfully he decided against it.  

    Jamie was self-conscious about his penis when we met, but with a little reassurance he was fine, and we consummated the ‘arrangement’ on that first night together no problem. In fact, we have a very successful sex-life, and it’s been great to see Jamie’s confidence grow during our time together. We’ve had sex in a variety of positions (several times) and his bent penis has never been an issue.  

    Don’t worry, I don’t intend to describe every penis I’ve ever fucked (I don’t have time), I only mention Jamie’s because very few men (if any) have straight penises, most seem to veer off in one direction or another, but unless you’ve got some sort of pretzel situation going on, you’ll probably find a way to make it work! Apparently, women don’t have straight vaginas anyway, so maybe they were just a bad fit, or she had a vagina like a curly wurly or something…   

    When we first got involved it was all a bit vanilla, but as the months went on and we got to know each other better, he became open to trying other things; things he’d been curious about but never had the chance to explore. He wanted me to take control and be dominant, so we got the toy box out and started experimenting with whips, handcuffs, cock-rings and vibrators. At the age of 66, Jamie tried anal for the first time and allowed me to return the favour a few months later (with a strap-on obviously).  It’s been great fun helping Jamie explore his sexuality and learn how to express himself in the bedroom; and I’m really proud of how far he’s come (insert your own joke here).   

    So, the sex works, but that’s only a small part (ha ha) of our arrangement. Jamie didn’t just want sex, he wanted someone to spend time with; an attractive female companion to inject some fun and excitement into his life… and I was the perfect person to fill his void (ahem) and provide him with the stimulating company he was craving. 

    We have lots in common, and both love the theatre and live music; I must cost him a fortune in theatre tickets, but he doesn’t mind, apparently I’m worth it (I mean obviously). We love going to London for the weekend and doing the whole West-End thing, and we’re both foodies, so enjoy eating and drinking out a lot (both in frequency and sheer volume). 

    We’re equally content at home chilling on the sofa with a cuppa and The Times crossword or watching some random shit on tv though. Our guilty pleasure is ‘married at first sight’, if you’ve never seen it, it’s alarmingly addictive. I applied for the show one night when I was drunk, unsurprisingly they didn’t get back to me, can’t imagine why…  

    We average around six nights a month together, more if we’re going away somewhere, and message or talk on the phone every day. We’ve both been through some tough times over the last few years, but we’ve supported each other through them. Jamie might be my sugar daddy, but he’s also a friend and practically part of the family at this point. It’s very much what you would call the ‘girlfriend’ experience, which is different to my other arrangements which are more casual, and less time consuming (thank God!). 

    Obviously, Jamie knows that I see other men, and that what we have is an arrangement and not a relationship; which he finds difficult at times. Things aren’t always good, and we’ve had our fair share of arguments and falling outs over the years. In the heat of the moment, we’ve both threatened to end the arrangement and walk away, however we always make up, as I think we both (for different reasons maybe) realise that what we have is too good to throw away.   

    Whilst I couldn’t cope with more than one Jamie in my life and I’m grateful that my other sugar daddies are less demanding; I also realise how incredibly lucky I am to have Jamie around and really appreciate all the amazing things we get to do together.  

    He’s already booked a get-away for our 4th anniversary, so it doesn’t look like he’s planning to trade me in anytime soon.  

    Thank you for everything you do for me Jamie. 

    Emily-Rose xxx 

    A word of advice: if you want your partner to be better in bed, telling them how shit they are compared to your exes is not the way to go! Comparing people in bed and making them feel shit will not give them the confidence to up their game or try something new. If your partner isn’t giving you what you want or need, don’t be a twat about it.  Instead, be honest about what you need and what turns you on; and what you enjoy or would like to try. So many of the men I see have endured years of unsatisfactory, boring sex. Honestly guys, life’s too short to be having bad sex… unless like me, you’re being paid for it.   

    Disclaimer: If you’re into something really niche, maybe coming home with a giant cot and adult diapers after 25 years of missionary might be a bit much, so test the water with something smaller first…maybe just a packet of wet wipes or something.