Sugar and Spice

Real life confessions of a working girl

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  • A Sugar Baby perspective on porn

    Now, I don’t have an issue with porn itself, I often masturbate whilst watching porn (it makes me come quicker), and it’s allowed me to explore some of my sexual fantasies and learn more about what turns me on, and what doesn’t. I’ve been able to experience scenarios (all be it vicariously) that I’ve not have the chance and may never have the chance to experience in real life; I have no shame around the fact that I enjoy watching porn.  

    It can be frustrating watching porn as a woman though, as it’s so obviously targeted towards men, with all the annoying pop-ups about bored housewives waiting to talk to you etc. I don’t need to talk to a bored housewife or horny MILF, I am one… I just want to watch my porn and get myself off.  

    There’s definitely a gap in the market for more female friendly porn, but the porn industry (like so many others) is male dominated, basically just horny men making porn for other horny men to watch; I don’t think there are many women behind the scenes. I think porn made by women, with other women in mind would be very different from male focused porn, and I’d certainly welcome some variety; porn with a bit more of a story line or narrative, maybe a bit more romantic, a bit more empowering and realistic, a little less predictable and cliché. 

    Being someone who works in the sex industry and has sex for money, men often think that I’m going to act like a porn star; which can add a lot of pressure, as I’m not always able to live up to what they see online (I mean, who is…). Men will often actively seek out women like me to recreate what they’ve seen in porn; which is just annoying. Honestly, the number of times that men have tried to fist me because they’ve seen it online, and want to try it. It’s not happening mate…. my pussy doesn’t stretch like that; it’s uncomfortable and it hurts… 

    As for the language used by a lot of the younger men I talk to, it doesn’t take a genius to work out where they’ve picked it up; the disrespectful way they talk to women like me, as if we’re barely human. I’m sure young men watch porn and think that’s how they need to behave; that’s what good sex looks like, that’s how you treat women and that’s how real men fuck (textbook toxic masculinity). I keep referring to younger men, because it does seem to be an age thing, older men (in my experience anyway) tend to be more respectful and less likely to use words like bitch, whore or cumslut; which a lot of young guys will call me, given the chance (which often they aren’t).   

    I don’t consider the act of watching people having sex, or engaging in other sexual activities as either good or bad, I think it’s fairly neutral; it’s the type of sex and the way women are portrayed that can be problematic. I mean, the majority of porn isn’t what you’d call your ‘everyday’ ‘vanilla’ sex, because let’s face it, that’s not very interesting to watch; however, it’s what lots of us are having because it does the trick, and we don’t have the time, energy or imagination to make it ‘exciting’ every time. Sex can at times be boring, or transactional; something you feel duty bound to do. Whilst at other times can be a very intimate and emotional experience, or just playful and silly; it can be so many things, yet what we see represented in porn is limited and often quite extreme.  

    Anal sex for example is made to look unrealistically easy; the men in these videos just bending the woman over and shoving their massive cock up there, like it’s nothing. I’ve had guys just ram it up my ass without any warning whatsoever, and let me tell you now, it can really hurt if you’re not expecting it; and can cause some serious damage. 

    Lots of younger men now consider anal as almost standard though, because it’s so prevalent in porn. However when I’ve discussed it with my friends, most of them haven’t done it, and have no wish to either; in fact, some of them find the idea quite disturbing. This may just be my friends of course, but it demonstrates that not all women are prepared to take it up the ass, it’s a very personal choice, and something that definitely needs to be discussed beforehand.   

    Watching clips of explicit sexual acts without any context (as we do when we watch porn) can be misleading; yet they rarely show what goes on before and after sex, the preparation and conversations that are being had behind the scenes etc. I myself watch some pretty hardcore BDSM porn at times, but often videos where they interview the woman beforehand to discuss what she likes and what her boundaries are, and again afterwards, talking about what she enjoyed etc. Yes, I normally skip through those bits, but at least they’re there and demonstrate consent and the fact that there are boundaries in place, because it’s not always obvious… it also shows that the women involved are real people, with a voice and a say over what is happening to their bodies. 

    One of the biggest issues with porn is obviously underage people accessing it, because however hard we try to prevent it, the reality is that it’s everywhere, and if they really want to find it, they will.  

    The problem isn’t necessarily that they’re watching adults having sex, it’s the nature of the sex that’s the issue… If porn was ‘normal’ middle-aged people, getting ready for bed, having a bit of foreplay, followed by five minutes of missionary, a quick cuddle, and lights out, they’d find it quite boring, and probably wouldn’t bother; however, this isn’t what they’re being exposed to. What they are seeing is extreme; and once they’ve seen it, they aren’t always able to process what they’ve witnessed, or put it into context (due to a lack of any real-life experience).  

    Then of course, there are children who are not looking for it, younger children who aren’t aware of what porn is, who are subjected to it without wanting to be, or come across it accidentally; which is a whole other thing…  

    Whether on purpose or accidental though, the fact is that more and more young people are being exposed to porn before they’re sexually active. Their first impression of sex and what it means to be in a sexual relationship is what they’re viewing online, which is a scary thought. 

    If I were a young person, who’d never had a relationship, did not have a trusted adult to talk to about sex, and all I knew was what I saw online, I could easily believe that: 

    • every man alive is fucking or wants to fuck their step-mum/step-sister/step-daughter etc. I don’t know what the obsession with incest is at the moment, but it’s always front and centre of the site I use, despite the fact that I have no interest in these videos. 
    • every woman is up for being fucked up the ass, no warning needed, any holes a goal, just shove it in there, she won’t mind. 
    • all women are secretly bi, and up for a threesome with another girl. 
    • women don’t have hair on their pussy, or anywhere else on their body for that matter.   
    • everyone is either a dom or a sub, someone is always in control. 
    • the bigger the better, women love men with massive dicks, the bigger your cock, the more she’ll come. 
    • women enjoy having said massive cock rammed down their throat as hard as possible. 
    • it’s acceptable to choke women during sex, no consent required; just go for it, she’ll love it. 

    This is how our young people are being educated (or self-educating themselves), which is not what porn was designed for. Yes, we have sex education in schools, but I don’t think teachers really know how to discuss these issues with young people, and most parents would rather not go there; but by not talking about these things, we are not taking responsibility for what we are creating and exposing young people to, which isn’t fair on them.   

    Porn, just like prostitution, will always be a thing, it’s not going anywhere, so we just as well talk about it… as I’ve already said, I don’t think porn itself is a bad thing, but like everything, can be damaging in the wrong hands. At the most basic level, it’s just people having sex, which is a perfectly natural and normal thing. 

    I’d personally like to see more diversity when it comes to porn though, as I don’t feel particularly represented, and I’m sure I’m not the only one.  

    As someone who’s posted sex videos online, I’d like to see more respect for people creating this type of content, as they are doing a job just like everyone else.   

    I’d also like to see adults talking more about their sex lives, and having more open and honest conversations about what they are getting up to in the bedroom. Let’s try and make sex less of a taboo subject, normalise ‘real’ sex, and call out hard-core porn for what it so often is; unrealistic and unobtainable, and not something we should strive to live up to or feel under pressure to recreate. We don’t all need to be fucking like porn stars, sometimes it’s best to leave these things to the experts.  

    Emily-Rose xxx

  • 10 things every Sugar Baby needs to know about being with older men…

    1) They get up to pee during the night, sometimes several times; so make sure they’re sleeping on the side of the bed nearest the loo.  

    2) You have to read the entire menu to them when you go out and they’ve forgotten their glasses. 

    3) They come with an entire drugs cabinet and a range of age-related health issues that you’ve never heard of.  

    4) It takes them forever to do up their shoelaces, they may require a 10-minute warning before leaving the house. 

    5) They will struggle with the small fiddly controls on your sex toys (seriously Lovehoney, you need to do an old people friendly range with big buttons and simple controls).  

    6) They often have dietary requirements, and a list of things they can’t eat anymore, usually due to cholesterol or high blood pressure. 

    7) They will reference things you’ve never heard of, and you’ll repeatedly have to remind them that whatever it was, it was before your time. 

    8) If you’re out in public together, people will assume he’s your dad (or grandad), then look at you with disgust when you sit on their lap. Alternatively, you may look like their carer (same response when you sit on their lap though). 

    9) They’ll try to take you to a restaurant, only to find out when you get there that it closed several years ago and is now a charity shop. 

    10) When they talk about how successful and wealthy their gorgeous children are (who just so happen to be the same age as you) you’ll look at your own life and want to cry. That one might just be a ‘me’ thing though…. 

    Emily-Rose xxx

  • Age and sex

    I know they say that age is just a number, and of course it is, but it’s a number that makes a difference. For me personally, I’ve always preferred and been attracted to older, more mature men, textbook searching for a father figure. etc..   

    Most of the men I meet are funny about their age, and the majority of men on sugar daddy sites lie about it. They’ll justify this by saying that they don’t look, feel or act their age, and that it’s just a number (in which case why lie then… hmm). One sugar daddy said he was compelled to lie because the women on these sites are unfairly ageist; whilst he himself would only see women at least 20 years his junior (oh the irony). In fact, I was only just young enough for him, he would have preferred it if I’d been in my 20s, something he mentioned several times (like it was something I could magically change). I would have preferred it if he hadn’t been such a twat, but there we go, you can’t have it all…  

    Obviously, I’m not immune to such vanities, and did think about taking a few years off, but decided against it, as I didn’t see the point. When you’ve had a child at 18, it’s difficult to lie about your age as you have to remember to adjust the age of your child, so you don’t end up accidentally implying that you had a child at the age of 12 or something. At the end of the day, I am what I am, pretending to be a couple of years younger won’t change anything. Plus, I’d rather people think I look good for 35, then bad for 29….  

    The majority of my sugar daddies are in their 60’s, though mentally still in their 20s or 30s; only the aches and pains, and alarming amount of prescription drugs they take remind them otherwise. Lying naked in bed together I’ll tell them that they’re only as old as the woman they feel, and there’s certainly something in that. Spending time with younger people definitely helps keep you young; and for lots of these men, being with me gives them a chance to relive their youth. Don’t get me wrong, there are younger men on the site, I just prefer older men; they’re more reliable and appreciative! 

    I have a few sugar daddies over 70 (my oldest being 76), who still manage to get it up (with a little help), and enjoy having sex. Turns out men are horny at all ages, no surprises there! I will say however, based on my experiences to date; that men start to go off when they hit 70 (no offence to any older men reading this). Maybe it’s a personal thing, but I’ve not enjoyed sex with men over 70 as much as sex with men in their 60s. Until 70 they’re fine, but after this point it starts to feel like hard work; the fitness level isn’t there, and the body is showing serious signs of wear and tear. Having said this, one of my best lays is 68; he knows exactly what he’s doing, and has a lovely big cock. If I’m still seeing him when he turns 70, then maybe I’ll have to revise my theory; no pressure Richard…. Maybe it comes back in their 80’s? I haven’t had sex with an octogenarian yet, so I can’t say, but it’s on my ‘to do’ list, just to say that I’ve done it (or done them more like).  

    If you think my ageist theory sounds harsh, bear in mind that men write women off at a much younger age… I was reading an article the other day which suggested that women like men around their own age or slightly older, whereas men like women in their 20s, regardless of their own age. Most men in their 60s are intelligent enough to realize that attractive 20 something year olds are unlikely to be interested in them, however not all (we’ve all seen creepy old men hitting on young women in clubs and bars…. they’re not interested mate…. fuck off). Only wealthy successful older men are attractive to younger women, it’s amazing how attractive money and success can make you. Never mind the size of your ego men, it’s the size of your wallet that really counts.  

    In general, I think that men in their 60s make excellent lovers and are much more attentive than their younger counterparts; maybe because it takes them longer to become aroused, or because they don’t want it to be over too quickly, I’m not sure. Whichever way, I like the fact that they take their time, and really appreciate my body; giving me pleasure with their fingers or their tongue before entering with their cock and getting what they want. I need this attention if I’m to come, and they are greatly rewarded for the time they spend ‘down there’. Most of my best orgasms and sexual experiences have been with older men.  

    On the negative side, it’s impossible to have sex with older men without occasionally thinking about what would happen if one of them had a heart attack or even worse died on me. Some of my men are carrying quite a bit of weight, so for a start I’d be seriously crushed, both physically and emotionally. Their death could make for some very awkward conversations with the emergency services, hotel staff etc, and difficult questions from their families. If it happened to me, I don’t think I’d be able to have sex ever again, I’d be traumatised. I’m first aid trained though, which is something; I could at least attempt CPR. Maybe I should add that fact to my profile, with my target demographic it could be a real selling point…  

    I must admit that I’m scared of getting old! I’ve seen the way men treat older women, how invisible women become once no longer considered young and attractive. I’ve studied evolutionary psychology, so know it’s not necessarily their fault, it’s just human nature. If our primary motivation (all be it a subconscious one) is to reproduce and pass on our genes, then it makes no sense for men to be interested in and therefore ‘waste time’ on post-menopausal women. Men look for youth and attractiveness (signs of fertility) in the same way that women seek out men with power and resources (so we’re not left in the shit when they get us up the duff); it’s hard to fight against thousands of years of evolution. Most of the men I see in their 60s say that they just don’t fancy women their own age, which is really sad! Men could do well to remember that older women have a lot to offer, not everything evolves around physical attraction. 

    Whichever way, what goes around comes around, and one day I’ll be old and infertile, and invisible to men. Until that point, I intend to milk my youth (nearly said body, but that sounded wrong) for all it’s worth. I don’t want to waste what precious time I have left. I will need an exit strategy obviously, but that’s a future me problem; like the men I fuck, maybe I’m also in denial about how old I really am.  

    Emily-Rose xxx

  • Disaster strikes

    (Warning: not for those of you who are squeamish)

    So, there’s this cute guy who plays pool in my local; I sometimes play with him (pool that is). He’s a bit of a ‘Jack the lad’, and I can’t help but fancy him; he fancies me too, I can tell by the way he flirts and watches me bending over to take my shots.  

    Now, I try not to fuck anyone other than my sugar daddies, but that’s easier said than done…. especially when I’m drunk and horny (basically anytime I’m drunk). You can see where this is going….   

    One night I give in to temptation and take him back to mine. I don’t ‘need’ sex, I’m getting plenty of it, I just really want it. The sex is great; hard and fast, two young people who want to fuck each other’s brains out, doing just that. 

    He wore a condom, but it doesn’t survive our vigorous fucking, and after coming inside me, he withdraws without it. I rescue it from my sticky vagina, I know I’m not pregnant, so forget about it; until a few weeks later when I get the dreaded text stating that one of my sexual partners has tested positive for Chlamydia.  

    Now, given my numerous sexual experiences, and total lack of self-control, I’ve had Chlamydia before, but don’t have time to fuck about getting tested. Time is money, and I need to be able to work, so I order the appropriate antibiotics and check my spreadsheet to see who I need to contact (yes, I have a spreadsheet). Two of my sugar daddies who don’t wear protection get unlucky, but thankfully, and much to my relief, no one else is affected. I vow to be more careful in future; and think no more of it. 

    Fast forward a month and I’m messaged by a married man who’s coming down for business and wants a one-off thing. He’s not had sex with anyone but his wife for 19 years; and can’t use condoms, something I hear a lot… they don’t work for him, it’s not the same, blah blah blah, usual excuses. I explain that I have a coil fitted, but prefer using protection to ensure we’re both safe. He assures me that he’s ‘clean’ but wants to know if I’ve had any issues, and how many men I fuck without protection etc; suddenly concerned about infecting his wife, what a considerate husband, good job I brought it up….  

    I recall my recent experience of Chlamydia, and realize that I never tested after treating myself, just to check the antibiotics worked; I feel healthy, but can’t be 100% sure. I obviously don’t want to put him or his marriage at risk, so buy a test kit, and tell him that I’ll test before we meet. 

    If you’ve ever tested yourself, you know it’s fairly simple. You have a long cotton wool bud that you insert into your vagina, twist around, pull out, stir in a solution, and pour a few drops over what looks like a covid test strip. Idiot proof, what could possibly go wrong…. I check the instructions, annoyingly you have to wait at least an hour after weeing before testing, and I really need a wee now. I can’t be arsed to come back later though, so ignore my full bladder, and go for it; it’ll only take a minute.   

    I squat, spread my pussy lips and insert the cotton bud. It feels really uncomfortable going in; maybe my vagina’s a bit dry, or tense because I’m desperate for a wee. Either way, I persevere, pushing it up as far as I can, ignoring the increasingly unpleasant feeling. I twist it around and try to pull it out; it doesn’t want to move though, and the more I pull, the more it hurts. I feel wetness as urine trickles along the plastic stick and onto the floor; I really need to get this thing out before I wee all over it, if I get it wet it won’t work. I stand over the toilet, frantically trying to pull it out whilst trying not to wee everywhere, but it’s not working; it’s really hurting. My legs are shaking and I’m starting to panic; I can feel beads of sweat forming on the back of my neck. By this point I don’t even care whether the test will work, I just want the bloody thing out.  

    Eventually I can’t hold on any longer and have no choice but to wee. I hold the end of the swab whilst doing so, as even the slightest movement hurts. A tidal wave of wee gushes over my hand as I let go; it hurts and it’s uncomfortable, but at least I don’t feel like my bladder is about to explode anymore. I’ve totally fucked up the test now, but I don’t care. I try again to pull the wretched thing out, but my vagina seems to be clamped around it. The pain is almost unbearable, and liquid is still trickling down the plastic stick and into the toilet…. It’s a strange sensation, like I want to come and squirt everywhere. Every time I move the stick, my pussy spasms and a fresh wave of liquid escapes, causing a weird feeling of pleasure and pain.  

    I’m stuck and I don’t know what to do. I’m hot, sweaty, crying and leaking; stood over the toilet, too scared to move, feeling like my legs could give way at any moment. It’s at this point that I suddenly remember my contraceptive coil; maybe the cotton bud is twisted around the threads of my coil, or I’ve dislodged it and perforated my insides. I try to twist the swab in the opposite direction, thinking that maybe I can untangle it; but I can’t twist it at all, it’s stuck and won’t budge, any attempt just results in more pain; I’m basically fucked!  

    For a moment I seriously consider whether I can wrap a towel around my waist and walk to the hospital, though quickly realize that’s impossible. I have no other choice, for the first time in my life, I dial 999. I’m panicking, but hold it together whilst I explain to the operator what’s happened. She takes my details and explains that the ambulance service is under a great deal of pressure; it could be several hours before they get to me. She asks if someone could drive me to the hospital. I look down between my legs… I can hardly move, I’m leaking everywhere, and have 10cms of plastic stick poking out of my vag, I’m like a fucking human lollipop, I don’t think she understands my predicament; but having no choice, I tell her I’ll try, and hang up. I take a couple of steps, legs spread, hands grasping my stick, piss trickling down my legs; it’s no good, I don’t think I can make it down the stairs, let alone to the hospital. Nope, I’m going to have to deal with this myself. With great effort I get on my knees, and lean forward against the bath. I Google how to remove a coil at home, because it’s clearly twisted around the swab, and I’m not going to get the swab out without also removing my coil. The results are encouraging, it’s not impossible to do; yes, you may do some serious damage, but what choice do I have. If I remove it and start bleeding everywhere, at least I might be able to close my legs and make it to the hospital; I have to do something. Feeling between my legs, I find the opening to my vagina; it’s closed tight, poor thing. I prize it open, careful not to disturb the swab; inside I can feel the walls of my vagina, but not the swab…. what the fuck!! I put my phone on selfie mode and slide it between my legs, trying to make sense of what’s going on. Droplets of wee cover the screen, but I can just make out my vagina, and the swab sticking out… the swab is not in my vagina though. I Google the female anatomy, not quite believing what I’ve done; I’ve inserted the swab into my urethra.  

    I’m both horrified and relieved. On one hand, it’s obviously not caught on my coil, pulling it out might hurt like a bitch, but it’s not going to rip out my coil and my uterus with it. On the other hand, what the fuck! How did I manage to push a swab all the way up there, I didn’t even realize that was possible…though obviously it is.  

    Now I’m confident I’m not going to kill myself; I try to relax and pull it out. It really hurts, but thankfully I eventually manage it. The tip is covered in blood, have I impaled myself or damaged my bladder? I try to Google what happens when you accidentally shove a fat cotton bud up your pee hole; Google is less helpful this time.  

    I’m relieved that it’s out, but still experiencing pain. I feel the urge to wee, but nothing happens, and when it does, it burns to the point that tears roll down my face and I cry out in pain. 

    I climb into the shower, thinking that the warm water may help ease the pain; I pee again, it still burns, but the water helps. I lie in the bath, the warm water running over my belly and between my legs. Exhausted after such an ordeal, I consider whether I could sleep in the bath, with the shower running, but decide against it; I need to get myself checked out.  

    I dress, and walk in the rain to the hospital. I can’t find my shoes so I’m wearing my gardening Crocs, I don’t care though; I just want tonight to be over.  

    Thankfully A&E is quiet, so I’m not waiting long. I explain, for the second time that night, what’s happened; the nurse is sympathetic, and somehow manages to keep a straight face. My observations are normal, and she doesn’t seem too concerned, which is reassuring. It’s gone 10pm so there aren’t any doctors on duty, so very little she can do. She tells me that my urethra is experiencing trauma, which will ease in time; yeah…it’s not the only one. I tell the nurse how silly I feel, that I can’t believe I managed to do something so stupid. She assures me that it happens to us all, something I very much doubt. She tells me to go home and rest, the doctor will give me a call in the morning.  

    Lying in bed that night, I wonder how many women have had a similar experience… I know men love shoving stuff down their pee hole, but I’ve never heard of a woman doing so. Has anyone else reading this accidentally mistaken their pee hole for their vagina? I would really like to know if you have, because I’m still traumatised.  

    I never did meet up with the guy I took the test for. I did however buy and successfully do another test which came back clear. I do them on a regular basis now, but am very careful about inserting into the correct hole. 

    Emily-Rose xxx

  • Setting boundaries

    I try to set clear boundaries with my sugar daddies, as it’s important for both parties to know exactly what the arrangement is and where they stand. I say ‘try’, because it’s not something I’m particularly good at, but something I’m working on; along with numerous other things… 

    One thing I make very clear is that I’m not looking for a romantic relationship, or to fall in love; a conversation we usually have before we meet, whilst discussing what we are looking for and negotiating the money side of things. The L word is banned, a line not to be crossed by either party; I don’t want them to fall for me, and I certainly won’t be falling for them. There are a few who get carried away and need reminding; especially after a few drinks. On the odd occasion that the L word has slipped out in the heat of the moment or whispered in bed when they think I’m asleep; I pretend not to have heard (classic conflict avoidance), whilst making a mental note to create some distance and not encourage such behaviour. As for me, this is something I don’t mess up on, I’ve never dropped the L bomb with any of my sugar daddies; not because I’m heartless (although maybe I am), but because I think the L word should be special and actually mean something, not just used willy-nilly. I also don’t want to mislead any of my men or give them false hope, as that would just be cruel. I’m affectionate towards my sugar daddies, and genuinely care about the men I see, but that’s as far as it goes. 

    Being involved with older men is helpful in maintaining boundaries, as due to the age difference, they know they could never be (and probably wouldn’t want to be) in an actual relationship with me; it’s never going to be anything but a no strings sugar daddy/ sugar baby arrangement. Although one of my sugar daddies (in his seventies), says that if he were 20 years younger, he’d have married me and impregnated me several times; a scary thought indeed. 

    One boundary that’s very important is keeping my sugar daddies and my family life separate. Being a single Mum, it’s amazing how many sugar daddies want to meet my daughter or buy her presents; which I find a bit creepy! I make it clear that my daughter is not part of the deal, and I’m not going to start giving her stuff from random men she doesn’t know. As with any rule there are exceptions, and my daughter has met a few of my sugar daddies, and been given a few little things, but not often. 

    As a general rule, I try not to ‘shit on my own doorstep’, metaphorically speaking (though literally too I guess). I don’t like getting involved with men too close to home, as I don’t want to be bumping into sugar daddies when I’m not working, or dealing with angry wives or girlfriends if something goes wrong. So far that’s worked well, and I haven’t had any issues; I only have one sugar daddy who lives within a few miles of me, and I never see him when I’m out. 

    As you can probably imagine, men can become quite demanding and needy if you’re not careful, especially when there’s money involved. They can feel entitled and like they should be able to access you anytime, day or night; which isn’t practical and can feel overwhelming. They forget that they’re not the only person in your life, or the only one you’re talking to; or even the only man you have an arrangement with. If all my sugar daddies messaged me several times a day, I wouldn’t have any kind of life, I’d literally just spend all day on my phone, which would do my head in. At times I’ve had to ask sugar daddies to back off and give me some space. It’s a fine balancing act though between keeping communication open in-between meetings, keeping the spark alive, and keeping them interested; without feeling like you are being harassed and wanting to tell them all to fuck off.  

    Video calls can actually fuck off though, so don’t even bother trying; I’m not sat at home looking sexy on the off chance that someone’s going to video call me… Having said that, those who have, don’t seem to care what I look like; so maybe I overestimate the difference that makeup etc makes, or underestimate men’s ability to see beyond such things. I mean, some of my sugar daddies have seen me looking pretty rough, like crying and blowing snot bubbles rough, yet still want to bang me and pay for the pleasure; though normally after I’ve stopped crying. 

    Whilst most sugar daddies behave and follow the rules, there are always a few who push their luck. Men who have no intention of ever meeting up, who send unsolicited dick pics in the hope that I’ll send nudes in return; it’s annoying as they (dick pics) do nothing for me, and I don’t have the time or energy to be sending stuff for free. Same with videos, I’m not swapping videos, if you want to see me wanking, go to my OnlyFans page and pay like everyone else. I can’t pay my bills with dick pics; if I could… I’d be set for life. 

    I don’t mind my regulars asking for stuff, but I can’t cope with the ‘what are you wearing/doing right now’ requests, which are just tiresome! Like I have nothing better to do, then drop everything and spend ages trying to take a flattering photo of myself washing the dishes or doing the laundry, you really need to see that? For my own sanity, and because it makes me irritable, I don’t rush to send a reply but will respond in my own time, if and when convenient. 

    As with any job, there needs to be a work-life balance, though inevitably due to the nature of the work, the antisocial hours, and the fact that I’m always hustling and lining up jobs, the balance can get a bit out of whack. At times I’ve definitely over-extended myself; too many late nights and different men leaving me physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. Overtime I’ve learnt to create a better balance, though inevitably I still burn the candle at both ends, because I’m an idiot; and I like having fun and making money.   

    When things become too much, which they sometimes do, I’ll put my phone on airplane mode for a few hours, or block out a few days to either rest or catch up with friends. My phone is on silent overnight anyway, so I’m not disturbed when I’m sleeping; and whilst there are often several messages waiting for me in the morning, no-one gets a reply until I’ve had my morning cuppa. 

    At the end of the day, I know that if any of my sugar daddies are being too demanding or unreasonable, I can just end the arrangement. I’ve had to do this a few times when men have become too emotionally involved or not respected my boundaries. It’s not my favourite thing to do, and I’m not very good at it; I’m far too nice, and they always want to stay in touch and be friends afterwards. It can be hard when someone has opened up to you and told you how lonely they are, but I have to be strong and remind myself that I can’t look after everyone and give all the time. Ultimately, as harsh as it sounds, if I’m no longer benefitting from a sugar daddy being in my life, then I have to let them go. 

    As a sugar baby you give a lot to other people, which doesn’t always leave a lot left for yourself. It’s true what they say though, that you need to fill your own cup before you fill other peoples. So, on that note, I’m going to sit in the sun and enjoy a nice cup of tea; and leave my phone inside.  

    Look after yourself!

    Emily-Rose xxx

  • Physical attraction

    One of my sugar daddies looks like Sir David Attenborough, from a certain (and very specific) angle. I didn’t notice this until I was sat on his face the other day, and I looked down and saw Sir David looking up from between my thighs (yes, that’s the angle). For some reason this amused me greatly, however I didn’t say anything at the time, as I didn’t want to distract him. Unfortunately, whilst he looks like Sir David, he doesn’t have his sexy voice, or his fame and fortune; but then you can’t have it all.  

    Am I always physically attracted to my sugar daddies; no of course not. For me personally, attractiveness has never been the most important thing though; after all, how do we even define attractiveness… I know there’s lots of science around symmetrical facial features and other physical traits that indicate genetic fitness etc, but at the end of the day, what you find attractive is subjective, and varies so much from person to person, it’s impossible to define.

    My own theory on attractiveness is that when you first lay eyes on someone, you immediately know how attractive you find them; however, this changes over time as you get to know them better and learn more about their personality.

    The plainest looking person can transform into a vision of beauty, whilst a conventionally attractive person can lose all their charm and start to look quite ugly if they’re not a nice person. Personality (for me anyway) has a huge impact on how attractive someone is, so don’t worry if you’re not considered ‘conventionally attractive’, it’s not the be all and end all. Thankfully, most of the sugar daddies I’ve been involved with have become more attractive over time. Testament to their personalities maybe, or because I’m actively looking for things to find attractive about them in order to make my job easier, who knows; they do say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder…  

    Talking of eyes, it’s true that they are the window to the soul, and I have a real thing for soulful eyes. Lots of my older sugar daddies have that twinkle that men of a certain age seem to acquire, that little glimmer that lets you know they’ve still got it. I love the laughter lines and wrinkles, and the way they crease when they smile; each line telling a story of joy, sorrow, happiness and heartbreak. One of my sugar daddies has the most amazing ice blue eyes, I could get lost in them for hours. 

    Smell is also important when it comes to attraction, and you can’t beat a man who smells nice. I know there’s research into how our natural body odours and pheromones attract those with complimentary immune systems, to create healthy young etc (good old evolution), but don’t rely on your sweaty armpits to do all the work. Invest in some high-quality aftershave or cologne; you can thank me later.   

    In my humble opinion, the most attractive quality a man can have (after a thick wallet and girthy cock obviously) is confidence. I think in general, women are attracted to confident men as it makes them feel safe and secure. I don’t necessarily mean the loud, extroverted confidence (I’m not talking about arrogance here), but the quiet, calm, inner confidence and assertiveness that lots of attractive and successful men possess.

    Some men think they need to be attractive in order to be confident, however I think it can work the other way round. If you act confidently (even if you’re faking it) you will come across as more attractive and desirable, which will make you feel more confident, and thus look more attractive etc, it’s win/win.

    Being funny is obviously another highly attractive quality, and it’s quite true that a man can laugh a woman into bed (or certainly this woman anyway), however being funny is slightly harder to fake, so maybe give that one a miss if that’s not who you are. There’s nothing worse than a man trying to be funny to impress a woman and totally missing the mark; it just looks a bit desperate.

    Having a sexy accent is another winner; again, not really something you can fake, but great if you’ve got one. I’ve just started talking to a sugar daddy in Ireland who likes to send me voice notes. His voice is so sexy, that just hearing him talk makes my panties wet, I don’t even care what he looks like, that’s why eyelids were invented; I’ll take his Irish cream any day. 

    As a sugar baby I like to be inclusive and don’t normally rule out men based on the way they look, unless I think they’re so unattractive that I couldn’t possibly go there (the bar is fairly low though). Obviously, I have a ‘type’, and there are physical traits that I find particularly attractive, but it’s been interesting getting involved with and having sex with men who I wouldn’t normally look twice at, as sometimes they can really surprise you; it definitely pays not to judge a book by its cover.

    I actually find that less attractive men are often better in bed; I’m not sure whether it’s because they can’t rely on their looks, or because they feel like they have something to prove or make up for, but either way, they’re often more skilled and less selfish than their more attractive counterparts. I’m sure the same could be said for women… 

    Luckily, I’ve always had a bit of a thing for older men, which certainly helps in this line of work, as there are lots of older men looking for sugar babies, and they are normally the ones with free time and disposable income. I know that most of my friends couldn’t imagine having sex with the men that I sleep with, not for any amount of money; but for me it’s easy. Worst case scenario, you just close your eyes and imagine you’re with someone else; or alternatively, think of the money if that turns you on (which for me it does). Although I try to stay present when I’m with my sugar daddies, I’ve been guilty of doing this a few times, especially when they go down on me, although that’s normally because they don’t know what they’re doing and I get bored… 

    As for me, well the men I’m involved with must think I’m attractive, otherwise they wouldn’t be seeing me; as let’s face it, it’s not like there’s a shortage of attractive women out there to choose from. I believe that a lot of my attractiveness comes from my personality, the way I talk, and the way I carry myself; I have confidence in myself as a sexually desirable woman, and I think that comes across. I’m aware that my personality does a lot of the heavy lifting though; in the competitive world of being a sugar baby, I’m not attractive enough to be dull and boring, that’s for sure. I’m attractive enough though, and that’s all that matters really. 

    Till next time, stay beautiful!

    Emily-Rose xxx

  • Sugar Baby tips on surviving a meal at a fancy restaurant

    1) Research the restaurant and dress appropriately: you may be a hooker, but you don’t have to look like one. If in doubt, ask your sugar daddy whether he has any preferences. I have some that prefer me to dress conservatively in public, whilst others the complete opposite… 

    2) Don’t order anything that’s going to be messy or difficult to eat. I love langoustines, but don’t really want to be fiddling around with my food, so usually stick to something that arrives ready to eat. If you don’t like your food looking at you then maybe avoid the fish, you never know when it’s going to come complete with a head…. I’ve never been served chicken with its head still attached (just saying). 

    3) Avoid eating anything too heavy or filling, especially if you’re going to be getting naked and having sex afterwards; feeling full and bloated is not going to help get you in the mood, so try and keep it light.  

    4) Pace your drinking with your sugar daddy. You can drink less, or drink slower, but not more or faster! They may be trying to get you drunk, but you don’t want to be plastered; being paralytic is not a good look. 

    5) Don’t flirt with or eye up other men! Yes, you may be sat opposite some fat, balding 70-year-old, and the waiter is your dream guy, but he isn’t the one paying for your company. Your sugar daddy should be the only one you have eyes for. 

    6) Don’t wear shoes you can’t walk in ( general advice really); you’ll just look like an idiot. Plus, you never know when you might need to make a quick exit.  

    7) If you’re somewhere really fancy and you’re not sure what to do or how to behave, watch those around you and mimic them. In certain places you are expected to act a certain way; don’t embarrass yourself by getting it wrong. Read the room and act accordingly. 

    8) Always have some interesting topics of conversation or amusing stories at the ready. If you don’t know what to say, ask your sugar daddy questions about their successes in life or about something that you know they’re proud of. People love talking about themselves, and having a captive audience. If you’re lucky and ask the right questions, you won’t need to say much at all.   

    9. Don’t be tempted to look at the bill when it arrives. Yes, you may want to see how much your sugar daddy is spending on you, and how much your meal has cost; but it’s not classy to ask and you don’t need to know. You’re sugar daddy will take care of it; and it doesn’t matter how much it is because you’re worth every penny!

    10. Finally, don’t forget to show your sugar daddy that you appreciate being taken out and treated to the finer things in life; a little gratitude does a long way. Most sugar daddies get a lot of pleasure from knowing that they are making you happy, so let them know when they’re doing a good job.

    Emily-Rose xxx

  • The perks of being a Sugar Baby

    There are so many great things about being a sugar baby, I don’t really know where to start; sometimes I have to pinch myself, just to check I’m not dreaming. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not always easy and enjoyable, because no job is, but having done other things, I can safely say that given the choice between being stuck in an office for 8 hours a day, or sat in the sun drinking cocktails with a random guy, I know which one I’d rather be doing…  

    Having always been a bit tight for cash and not having had the luxury of disposable income to spend on the finer things in life, I really appreciate everything that I get to experience with my sugar daddies. I’ve stayed in beautiful hotels in stunning locations, and enjoyed delicious meals in expensive restaurants, I’ve tried lobster for the first time (totally over-rated), and have developed a taste for oysters and champagne; I’m like a real grown up now. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still partial to a pot noodle at home, but I’m a real foodie when I’m out. 

    Lots of my sugar daddies like to treat me to nice things and buy me gifts; from clothes, underwear and jewellery, to more practical things for the house. Christmas and birthdays are great, it’s like being a child again, I love it; one of my sugar daddies even organised an Easter Egg hunt for me one year….  how cute is that!  

    Quite a few of my sugar daddies have my address, so will buy things online to be delivered to my house, which is always exciting, who doesn’t like getting parcels in the post, certainly beats bills. I usually know if someone has bought me something, however that’s not always the case, because sometimes they like to surprise me. My neighbour also got a surprise the other day when one of my sugar daddies bought me a gift, and accidentally sent it to the wrong address. I was very surprised to receive two parcels, one from my neighbour and a second from my postie; even more when I opened them to find two identical sex toys; that was a close one… 

    When visiting sugar daddies, I often get sent home with random things; sometimes evidence that needs taking away, a half-finished bottle of wine, an extra dessert etc, or courgettes from the allotment that need eating up, or a jar of homemade jam. One of my sugar daddies used to send me home with a bag full of random little things he’d picked up throughout the week, along with an envelope of something I really liked (£££). It was actually really sweet, and I always looked forward to seeing what delights would be in my little party bag. It reminded me of visiting my Nan, she could never send anyone home empty handed, I think it must be an old person thing. 

    One of my favourite gifts is a little baby pink cue chalk; which sounds silly I know… The actual gift was a beautiful pool cue, but when we headed down to my local to christen it (Cubert in case you’re wondering), he handed me the chalk which he’d spotted on the pool table of his local pub. He thought of me and knew I’d love it, so much so that he nicked it for me. This is a guy in his 60s who’s never so much as parked on a double yellow line, resorting to an act of petty crime to make me happy… and they say romance is dead… 

    Gifts are all very nice, but experiences mean much more to me then material possessions, and I’ve been lucky enough to have had some pretty amazing experiences with my sugar daddies. Loving live music and live performances, being taken to the theatre is by far the biggest perk. I’ve been to my first ever music festival (all be it a small one in Cornwall), and seen everything from classical piano recitals to stand-up comedy; as well as a variety of plays and musicals. My calendar is full of things to look forward to, not just theatre trips, but live rugby (another guilty pleasure of mine) and cultural city breaks. Whenever I feel down or things feel tough (as they do for us all from time to time), I just look at my calendar and the next thing I have to look forward to, and think about how lucky I am to be able to experience these things. 

    It’s not just the money, gifts and experiences though, as between them my sugar daddies have a wealth of knowledge, expertise and life experiences. I have a great relationship with a number of my men, and can talk to them about just about anything. As the saying goes, it’s not always what you know, it’s who you know, and I’m lucky enough to know some interesting and potentially useful people. If I have an issue, I will often go to one of my sugar daddies for advice or support. With age comes experience, and many of the men I see have overcome great challenges and adversity to get to where they are now; not all of them have had it easy.  

    It’s not just me who benefits from the generosity of my sugar daddies, as my daughter, without being overly aware of it, benefits greatly too. With the money I earn from my sugar daddies I can afford to do things with my daughter that I wouldn’t be able to do otherwise. Little things like being able to buy her new clothes without worrying about the cost, going out for something to eat or ordering take-away without feeling guilty. I’ve also taken her to the theatre several times now, which she absolutely loves (just like her Mum). Having money makes such a difference as a parent, and I can now give my daughter things (and experiences) that I could not give her before. Whilst I keep my two lives separate, my sugar daddies know how much my daughter means to me, and would help us/her out if needed. Obviously, there’s a pay off, and I do sacrifice spending time with her to be with my sugar daddies, but that’s something all working parents have to do (balance work and family); and one of the many guilts that you experience as a parent. Don’t get me wrong, my daughter and I are equally happy sat on the beach with a picnic, or exploring the woods and creating our own adventures, there’s more to life than money, but it definitely helps, and means that we can enjoy life to the fullest.   

    Obviously, it’s not all sunshine and roses, but overall being a sugar baby is pretty awesome! I’m so grateful for everything that my sugar daddies have done for me, and totally appreciate how lucky I am; thanks guys!

    Emily-Rose xxx 

  • The wonders of Viagra

    I love Viagra, I think it’s great, and I know that lots of my sugar daddies use it, which I take no offence to; why should I? If I was paying for sex, I’d want it to be the best experience possible.  Afterall, if you’re planning on getting down and dirty with an attractive woman half your age, the last thing you want is to risk poor performance or getting over excited and shooting your load before getting your money’s worth; always best to play it safe and pop a pill.   

    Although I do recall an unfortunate incident during a first meeting with one sugar daddy in his 70s, when at the end of the meal he pulled out his wallet to pay the bill, and a packet of Viagra flew across the table. Both the young waitress and I politely averted our eyes, pretending not to have noticed as he quickly fumbled to hide them. I don’t know what the poor waitress thought when we got up and left together. I think she felt sorry for me; he was old enough to be my granddad. Anyway, we successfully consummated our arrangement later that evening, so it obviously did the trick. 

    A few months later, I introduced Viagra to another sugar daddy (also in his 70s) who was having issues getting it up. We’d spent a few nights together, but not managed penetrative intercourse, due to a significant lack of an erection, or to be honest, much there to get erect. He didn’t mind as he wasn’t expecting it to happen; it obviously hadn’t happened for a long time, so it wasn’t a big deal (pun intended). I felt sorry for him though, so decided to broach the subject head on and ask whether he’d tried Viagra, and was surprised to find that he hadn’t; in fact, he didn’t even know how he’d get it. I told him to leave it with me, and with only a minimal amount of identity theft and a few white lies, I managed to buy some online; which is obviously slightly risky, as I’m not a medical professional, and there are side effects to taking Viagra when you shouldn’t. Not wanting to accidentally kill him, I did ask him to check the very long list of health conditions and medication that do not mix well with Viagra. He said that there wasn’t any issue and that he was up for it (or at least hoping to be) so the next time we met, I handed them over and he enthusiastically swallowed one; before informing me that he’d not taken his blood pressure medication the night before, just in case there was a bad reaction (you need to be careful about taking Viagra if you have high blood pressure). The Viagra did the trick and we managed to have sex; all be it very rushed on the living room floor (I think he was worried that it was going to wear off). He asked me afterwards whether he should take another one, you know, because why wouldn’t you take one before and after sex?! I told him that under no circumstances should he take more than one a day, and I checked in with him several times during the evening, in case he was experiencing any negative side effects (I was actually quite worried). He did complain of some dizziness, but said that he experienced that anyway with his other medication, so didn’t seem too concerned. He’d already decided that he wasn’t going to take his blood pressure tablets that night either, just to be on the safe side, which didn’t seem like a great idea, but oh well. I didn’t stay over, so just hoped and prayed that he’d survive the night; which thankfully he did. Maybe I was irresponsible to leave him, however in my defence, he’s a fully grown man, and knows his body better than I do. If he thinks it’s ok to skip his medication, then who am I to argue. He’d done a lot of drugs in his youth (old school hippy), so clearly not adverse to taking risks and putting random shit in his body; if he survived a shitload of LSD and fuck knows what in the 60s and 70s, then I thought he’d probably cope with a single Viagra. It was totally worth it to give him his first erection in years, he was like a dog with a bone; or a man with a boner (all be it a very small one). He’s since been to his doctor, who was fine with prescribing him Viagra, and at a stronger dose then I gave him. He now uses it all the time, and is delighted to have his sex life back; and I’m happy to have helped him do so. 

     I don’t know why men feel embarrassed about taking Viagra but they really shouldn’t, it can enhance your sex life, and increase pleasure for both parties. The alternative to taking Viagra is being presented with a floppy cock that is almost impossible to do anything with. I’ve been in that situation a few times and it’s not a great experience for either involved. There’s nothing more disappointing than reaching down between your legs to guide him in, only to be presented with a floppy member. Having some old guy on top of you, dry humping you, desperately trying to get hard, but failing. In most situations a quick blowjob usually puts things back on track, but that doesn’t always work…  

    I’ve been with guys who have had issues but have not wanted to explore Viagra, either due to their male pride and ego, or because they don’t like taking drugs; there’s still something quite shameful or ‘emasculating’ about needing help in this department. I think that the people marketing Viagra are missing a trick though, as it’s often (in my experience) not just older men who struggle, but men who are very well endowered that have issues getting and maintaining an erection; if they can just run a campaign correlating the use of Viagra with having a big cock, then men would be rushing out to buy it, and wouldn’t feel quite so embarrassed about it all. There must be some research to support my big cock theory… not that lacking evidence ever stopped anyone. I can see it now though… ‘Viagra, for when your big guy needs a little help’, or ‘Viagra, the little pill that makes a big difference’; I’d happily front the campaign  

    Ever since purchasing Viagra online, I’ve been targeted with adds for erectile dysfunction, so I know exactly how sad and depressing the current adverts are. I can’t watch anything on 4OD without being reminded that my non-existent penis isn’t working properly. Not really what you want when you’re watching TV with your teenage daughter, and definitely not what I’d want if I was actually suffering from erectile disfunction; talk about rubbing it in. 

    Joking aside, Viagra is a useful tool, but obviously doesn’t work for everyone. I met a guy once who was nervous about meeting me, so took a Viagra beforehand, just in case. He managed to get hard, no problem, but no matter how much he wanted to come, he just couldn’t; in the end he gave up as it was getting uncomfortable and starting to hurt. I know another sugar daddy who tried Viagra, but the only thing it gave him was a headache. Maybe these guys were taking the wrong dose, or it was reacting with something else they were taking, who knows. 

    Viagra isn’t a miracle worker though, and men still need to be turned on in order to get erect; so regardless of whether they’ve popped a pill or not, if they’re standing in front of me with a hard on, I’m taking the credit for that bad boy.   

    Obviously if you are thinking about using Viagra for the first time and you have any sort of health condition, or take any other medication, it’s always advisable to talk to a professional first; and when I say professional, I mean a medical one, not the other type like me… 

    Emily-Rose xxx

  • Sex workers: Victims or sexually empowered women?

    Assumptions are often made about sex workers like me; such as that we are victims, we are being exploited by men, we don’t really enjoy what we’re doing, and only having sex for money through necessity. 

    I appreciate that this is the case for lots of women, I’m not going to start spouting some idealist bullshit about how everyone is free to make their own choices in life, because as lovely as that sounds, it simply isn’t true. Vulnerable women are often forced into the sex trade or prostitution because they have no other option, men will take advantage of women by offering money they can’t afford to turn down, or by threatening or coercing them in some way; men are capable of doing some pretty awful things in order to make money or get their end away. Women struggling with addiction may turn to sex work because it’s the only way to get the money they need; and there’s no doubt that homelessness, lack of employment or access to education, and poor health (both physical and mental) all contribute to the decision (or need) for women to sell sex for money.  

    It’s wrong to assume that all women who engage in sex work are in some way victims or being taken advantage of though, as there are plenty of women who do this type of work because they want to, and they enjoy it. For me anyway it’s very much a choice, and I don’t believe that I am being exploited or taken advantage of by any of the men who pay for my services. I have chosen to put myself out there as a sugar baby, and advertise on sites that allow me to set out exactly what I’m looking for and what I have to offer. I’m in full control over who I engage with and who I choose to see, if I don’t like the look of someone then I’ll ignore their messages, if they’re being a twat then I can block or report them; I certainly don’t feel under pressure to get involved with anyone, or do anything I don’t want to. 

    I genuinely enjoy being a sugar baby; I mean obviously not all the time, no job is perfect, but 99% of the time I’m having fun and enjoy what I’m doing. I have done other things, had other jobs, and have a good degree, so could do something else if I want or need to, but I choose to work as a sugar baby because quite frankly I like the lifestyle, the freedom and the money. I love being around men and having sex, and enjoy being looked after and having (/being) a good time, so for me it’s the perfect job. I have no qualms about embracing and capitalizing on my feminine sexuality and my body to make a living, I don’t find it demeaning in any way, if anything I find it empowering. Men will always pay women for sex, they’ve been doing so since the beginning of time; the only question is whether they’re paying me or someone else… and I’m more than happy to take their money. 

    Of course, there are always going to be men who take the piss, but it’s up to me to say no and put them in their place; something I have no problem doing. Afterall, I know how much I’m worth and how much men will pay for my company; so if some guy messages me wanting a quickie in the back of his car for £60 (as happened the other day), I have no problem telling him exactly where he can shove his money. I know that I’m lucky to be in a situation where I can tell men to fuck off, but equally a lot of women doing this type of work are in the same situation; they choose who they work with, and in many ways hold all the cards. There are plenty of successful women out there who do this job because they don’t have the time or energy (or desire) for a traditional relationship, and find that these arrangements give them everything they need. Women who work as GPs, lawyers, teachers, who do sugar baby work on the side for the thrill of it, or because they want to maintain a luxurious lifestyle.   

    The point I’m trying to make is that whilst sex workers are occasionally put in vulnerable situations, not all sex workers are vulnerable women; it very much depends on the woman and her particular circumstances. If you’re paying a sex worker and you get the impression that she’s not happy or there through choice, then you’re likely taking advantage of her situation. If you’re driving around the streets picking up girls who are only having sex for money because they have no other choice, again, you’re taking advantage of a vulnerable woman in order to get your leg over. Don’t convince yourself that it’s some kind of charity, or in any way altruistic; you could just as easily buy her food or give her money without making her suck your cock or fuck you…  

    If you do want to pay someone for sex (and why not, it can be great fun when done properly), just make sure it’s with someone who’s chosen to be there, who enjoys what they do, and is in a position to say no. Having sex with a sex worker can be a wonderful experience for both parties if done correctly, and there are plenty of intelligent and attractive women like me who get off on having sex for money, so why not give it a try? You never know, you might just make someone very happy 🙂 

    Emily-Rose xxx