Sugar and Spice

Real life confessions of a working girl

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  • Sugar Baby FAQs

    Whenever I meet someone and tell them I’m a sugar baby, they naturally have questions; which often include… 

    What is a sugar baby?  

    Typically, a sugar baby is a woman who spends time with men (usually older men) for financial support, money, mentorship or gifts. The arrangements vary but are always ‘mutually beneficial’; and whilst some sugar babies have just one sugar daddy, others like me are greedy and have several.  

    Physical intimacy is often involved, but not always, sometimes it’s just company and companionship that men are after (or so I’m told anyway). I happen to be physically intimate with all the men I’m involved with, but that doesn’t always mean sex, sometimes it’s holding hands and kissing; although most of my men like to fuck me if they can (because why wouldn’t they?).  

    As a sugar baby I consider myself to be a sex worker, as I have sex with men for money; however it’s so much more than just spreading my legs and letting men fuck me, I’m also a friend, a confidant, a therapist and whatever else they want to pay me to be…  

    How did you get into this type of work?  

    A combination of curiosity and red wine, with a little horniness and boredom thrown in. I’d heard about sugar babies and thought it would be a good way to meet interesting people and make a bit of money. I’d been in relationships with older men and enjoyed their company, I’m also someone who enjoys or ‘needs’ a lot of sex and appreciates male attention, and not adverse to a one-night stand. So, I made a profile to see what would happen, and the rest as they say is history.   

    Is being a sugar baby legal?  

    Yes, being paid for sex is legal in the UK, running a brothel or soliciting on street corners is not. Whilst being a sex worker may not be considered the most respectable profession, or a ‘real job’ by many, it’s perfectly legal and above board. 

    Where do you find your sugar daddies?  

    I have profiles on three online sites where sugar daddies and sugar babies connect. There are lots of sites if you just look; however, whilst some are transparent about what they are, others are less so… so you have to do your homework. You soon figure out which sites work best and how to weed out the serious sugar daddies from the time wasters (of which there are many).   

    How much do you charge?  

    People like to ask this question and are often surprised by the answer. It’s maybe not as much as you think, but I’m fairly confident that what I’m charging is the going rate for what I offer and where I am (geographically speaking).

    My current rates are £250 for an afternoon or evening session, and £300/£350 for overnight. I’m sure I could charge more if I were in London, or 10 years younger and a stone lighter, but I’m happy with what I charge, and like to think I’m good value for money; I certainly haven’t had any complaints… 

    Do you pay tax?  

    This is often the follow up to how much do you charge, but is normally phrased as ‘yeah, but you don’t pay tax on that, do you’, like I’m somehow above (or below) such things; which really annoys me. I’m sure lots of women doing this sort of thing don’t, but as this is my only source of income, and my only job, yeah, I declare my earnings and pay tax just like everyone else. I’m classed as self-employed, so complete a tax return and begrudgingly pay a shitload of my hard-earned money to HMRC.

    As someone who may one day want to borrow money or take out a mortgage, it’s in my interest to declare my income and play by the rules; plus, I wouldn’t last two minutes in prison.    

    Do your family know what you do, and what do they think about it?  

    Yes, my immediate family know, and the reactions have been mixed. I managed not to tell them for a few years, however once I went ‘full-time’ as a sugar baby it became harder to keep it a secret. I decided that I’d rather they hate me for being a sex worker then think I was an unemployed, lazy, good-for-nothing bum (I’m vain like that).

    My Mum was upset, even more so when I told her that I was writing a book about it, and said that it made her feel sick (we’re very different people). My Dad doesn’t really understand what the hell it is I do (despite me telling him), or what my book is about; as for blogging, he’s no idea what that is; which is probably just as well, as I’m sure he wouldn’t approve either. Don’t worry, I’m used to disappointing my parents, and was fully prepared for them to disown me, so the fact that they haven’t (yet) is a real bonus. 

    My teenage daughter is accepting of what I do, it doesn’t bother her that her Mum’s a sex worker; I guess for her it’s kind of normal now. I spare her the gory details, as no-one wants to hear about their parent’s sex life, but I’m honest with her, and open to answering any questions she may have. She loves the fact that I’m writing a book and representing an over-looked demographic; we’re all about diversity and inclusion and being who we want to be; it’s kind of our thing. 

    Do you worry about your safety?  

    Occasionally, but probably not as much as I should. I’ve never felt threatened or scared whilst working, but I’m one of those people who refuses to be ruled by fear and someone who’s prone to being reckless on occasions anyway. Maybe that makes me hedonistic and irresponsible, but oh well, no-ones perfect.

    Most of the men I work with are normal, decent people, who wouldn’t hurt me (not without my consent anyway). I’m selective about who I see though, and so far, have done a pretty good job of avoiding the less desirable characters on these sites; Trust me, I say “no” far more then I say “yes”. 

    Have you had any bad experiences?  

    I’m a firm believer that experiences are what you make of them, whether they’re ‘bad’ or not depends on how you choose to frame them. I’ve had plenty of less enjoyable experiences, but none that I would consider ‘bad’. Something going wrong is a ‘learning experience’, a disastrous date is just a funny story for another day etc. When things aren’t so good, or not going so well, I’m just grateful that it gives me something to write about; you can’t have the highs without the lows.

    Not all the guys I see are going to be ‘my cup of tea’, and I accept that; I spend time with men who annoy me, frustrate me, bore me etc, but ultimately, I’m choosing to work with them and could choose not to if I wanted.   

    How do you have sex with men you don’t fancy?  

    Quite easily actually. The fact that I’m being paid helps tremendously though, as it makes me feel sexy and desirable. I try to find something that I like about the other person, even just something small that I can focus on; it helps keep me present, and everyone has at least one redeeming feature or characteristic. If all else fails, I just close my eyes and think of the money or imagine I’m fucking someone else.

    Ugly men are often surprisingly good in bed though… 

    What about romantic relationships? How does that work with your job?   

    The answer to that is it doesn’t, or not for me anyway; I’ve never juggled the two. Other sugar babies do it, I know of sugar babies who are married or in open relationships, but I’m not sure that’s my style. I don’t think I’d want to be in a relationship whilst having sex with other men; I certainly wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with a guy who was fucking other women…  

    When I first started doing sugar baby work, I wasn’t interested in being in a relationship, so it wasn’t an issue. Nearly four years later, I sometimes think it would be nice to have someone special in my life, but I can’t see that happening whilst things are as they are. Sometimes we make sacrifices for our jobs (careers), I guess this is mine. 

    If you have any questions, just write them in the comments, and maybe I’ll do a FAQ part 2.  

    Emily-Rose xxx 

    For the full story as to how I became a sugar baby, check out this blog. 

    How I came to be a Sugar Baby

  • My French Fancy

    One of my sugar daddies took me to the Moulin Rouge in Paris to celebrate our second anniversary. If you ever get the chance to go, please do, I can’t recommend it enough! It’s everything and more… stunning costumes and choreography, lavish over the top and ridiculously camp musical numbers, gorgeous women with exposed breasts, shapely bums and long legs… I love it! 

    Buzzing after the show we head out in search of a nightcap; passing a nearby strip club. Obviously, I’d never been to a place like this before, but drunk on champagne and super horny, I persuade my sugar daddy to take me in.  

    Inside is dark, and pretty empty; a bar to one side, a stage with a few poles in the middle, and private booths down the other. Two girls wearing just underwear are stood at the bar, and a group of guys are in the corner drinking, apart from that, there’s little else going on.  

    We get our complimentary champagne and sit by the stage, watching in anticipation, for something/ anything to happen. Eventually one of the girls disappears around the back and reappears on stage. Her song comes on, and she does her turn, removing her bra halfway through the routine, dancing topless in just a thong, suspender belt, stockings and heels.  

    Once done, she retrieves her bra, slips it back on and joins the other girl at the bar. At one point a third girl comes out of a private booth with an older gentleman, looking very pleased with himself; they talk and laugh whilst she walks him to the door and says goodnight.  

    After that the three girls take it in turns to work the pole, every 10 minutes or so; hanging out at the bar in-between, waiting for punters.  

    My favourite was the first one we saw, she has dark hair and dark skin, a gorgeous curvy body, and perfect pert breasts. I’m mesmerised every time she gets up to dance and she catches me looking, giving me a saucy smile each time our eyes meet. 

     During one of her breaks, she comes over, gesturing to the two of us and saying something in French; pointing in the direction of the private booths, obviously asking if we want to join her. My French is poor, so I don’t know what she’s saying, but understand that whatever she’s offering, it cost ‘cent Euros’.  

    My sugar daddy’s quick to say no, that we aren’t interested; so giving me a disappointed smile she returns to the bar. I want to go after her and tell her to take me, but instead turn to my sugar daddy, and much to his surprise ask if I can go by myself. I want to treat myself to something in Paris after all, so why not this experience; he can pay and take it off my bill when we get back. Slightly shocked he follows me to the bar, where he pays the ‘cent Euros’, and watches as I’m led by the hand to one of the private booths.  

    I have no idea what to expect, but to be honest I don’t care. I’m thinking there might be a pole, or she’ll give me a lap dance; but I won’t be allowed to touch; isn’t that the rule in these places? 

    The little room is small and separated from the rest of the place by a thick curtain; and there’s no pole, just a curved bouffon type thing. She sits me down and proceeds to lift up my dress and gently stroke between my legs; seeing that I’m enjoying the attention, she removes my knickers and begins to pleasure me with her tongue. She takes off her bra, allowing me to fondle and play with her breasts; and spreads her legs so that I can pull her knickers to one side, and caress her clit. Her breasts are bigger than mine, but feel real, her nipples are different too, larger and more erect; her skin is soft and smooth, and she smells like soap. At one point my fingers tentatively explore her vagina, only to find it blocked with what feels like (but surely isn’t) a champagne cork. Unable to explore any further, I focus on her clit, licking my fingers to make sure they’re nice and wet.  

    I’ve no idea how long we’re in there, it’s impossible to maintain any concept of time in these situations, however once our time’s up, she makes me presentable, before taking me back to my sugar daddy; who’s sitting where I left him, looking a bit anxious and uncomfortable. 

    During our time together we barely speak due to the language barrier (and the fact that her mouth was otherwise engaged) however it’s amazing how much you can communicate without saying a thing. At one point I do ask whether she enjoys her job, like I’m making a fricking Louis Theroux documentary or something. She obviously understood the question, as she said yes, but on reflection what else was she going to say; it was a stupid question. 

    As someone who’s paid for sex and sexual services, I’m glad that I’ve had this experience and been on the other side of things. I may not have realised what I was paying for at the time, but I enjoyed the experience and was happy to give her my money, and my custom. I don’t know her story, or why she’s doing what she’s doing, but I hope she doesn’t hate it and that the men running the place aren’t screwing her over (because undoubtedly, it’s the type of place that’s run by men). 

    My sugar daddy didn’t appreciate the experience so much and was annoyed that I’d gone in without him, which was unfair as he’d been fine about it at the time. He felt left out and had wanted to join us, but hadn’t been brave enough; basically, he fucked up and missed out… sucks to be him! 

    Anyway, he took me back to the Moulin Rouge the following year for my birthday and somehow we ended up in the same strip bar; but that’s a story for another day. 

    Until next time, 

    Emily-Rose xxx 

    For more girl-on-girl action, check out this blog….

    Three in the bed

  • Dating with a sucky attitude: why self-love comes first.

    Martin is the most negative and pessimistic person I’ve ever met, hence why I’ve nicknamed him ‘Eeyore’; although that seems unfair on Eeyore who’s a ray of sunshine in comparison and at least cute (man, I’m a bitch). 

    Anyway, Martin is fairly successful; owning his own business buying and selling luxury cars and is quite well-known and respected in the ‘car world’. He drives a nice car (obviously), wears designer clothes, is well travelled and not unattractive for his age. He’s single and wants to be in a relationship but struggling to find anyone suitable. He can’t be happy whilst he’s single, but can’t find anyone to make him happy because he’s too depressed (about being single), it’s a real catch 22.  

    Martin was married, but left his wife because he thought the grass was greener, which he now realises it isn’t. I think he saw other men with young attractive ‘trophy wives’ and thought he could have the same; only that hasn’t quite worked out; a lesson there for all middle-aged men … 

    Martin works from home most of the time, so doesn’t get the opportunity to meet people or socialise that often, which is unfortunate, but not uncommon; it makes it difficult to find love though… 

    I’ve suggested he find a hobby, join an organisation or club and get himself out there, but he just says he isn’t interested in or good at anything. On the rare occasion he’s made an effort, he hasn’t enjoyed it or liked any of the people, plus there’ve been no attractive single women… so no point.  

    I’ve suggested he get a pet to keep him company if he’s that lonely, but he doesn’t want the hassle. I’ve suggested putting energy into platonic friendships and creating a support network, getting to know people who may be able to introduce him to someone, I’ve suggested keeping a gratitude diary to focus on what he does have rather than what he doesn’t, so he doesn’t feel like he’s missing out. 

    I’ve even suggested that he go to his doctor for help, but he thinks they’ll just prescribe antidepressants and he doesn’t want to pop pills (or be happy apparently)… Basically, no matter what I suggest, he’ll find a reason why it won’t work, and insists that he’ll be sad and lonely forever; which with an attitude like that, is likely to be the case. 

     He occasionally pays women like me for their company, but that depresses him too, and he spends the whole time moaning about how he can’t find love and saying things like ‘you’re only here because I’m paying you’, which is true but not really the point.  

    I’ve tried to explain how he needs to learn to love himself before he can love someone else, but he just says that he doesn’t know how, and that he can’t be happy and love himself until he finds someone; and we just go round in circles. He’s basically waiting for someone else to come along and magically fix everything for him, which isn’t how life works (unfortunately). 

    He’s handed over thousands of pounds to professional matchmakers, but they haven’t had any success, as no-one they suggest is good enough, and he gets frustrated and ends up being rude to them.  

    He’s had counselling too, but that didn’t work either (obviously, because nothing does) and in the end even the counsellor gave up (the will to live probably) and told him that she couldn’t help him. It seems to me that he must just like being depressed, there’s no other explanation for his behaviour; he’s just one of those people who is only content when they have something to complain about and can wallow in self-pity….that or he doesn’t know how else to get attention. 

    For someone who’s desperate to be with someone, he’s surprisingly fussy and judgemental, and will write women off without giving them a chance because they’re not attractive enough, or he doesn’t like what they’re wearing etc. He’s set the bar so high that no-one is going to be good enough, but maybe that’s the point; as long as he pushes everyone away, he can’t get hurt…he can just be miserable (which seems to be where he’s comfortable). It’s frustrating because this is a man who could have it all…. the only thing stopping him is his shitty attitude and pessimistic outlook on life.  

    Although I’m still in touch with him, I rarely see him; which is just as well as it’s mentally draining spending time with him, and enough to make anyone feel depressed. Even messaging to arrange a date is hard work, so I don’t bother.   

    He’s still trawling the sugar daddy sites looking for love, and recently messaged another sugar baby with the opening line “I don’t expect you’ll even bother to read this message but…”; hardly an inspiring introduction to entice or attract a young lady, but one that sums him up perfectly.  

    I don’t want you to think that I’m shitting on someone with mental health issues here, because I know what it’s like to have depression, it’s something I’ve struggled with my entire life. What I can’t cope with is Martin’s victim mentality and learned helplessness; it’s very difficult to help someone like that, as unless they want to change, you’re just wasting your time. 

     Expecting someone to come into your life and magically make everything better is unrealistic and grossly unfair on the other person. Other people can help, support and guide you, but at the end of the day if you want to change your life, no-one else can do that for you; as tough as it is, you’ve just got to put the work in.  

    Remember that the longest and most important relationship you’ll ever have in life is the one you have with yourself, so invest in making that one a good one. 

    Advice for Martin, and anyone else in his situation 

    1. If you want to be in a relationship, be the sort of person that people will want to be in a relationship with; work on yourself and being the best person you can. Have hobbies and interest, be fun and interesting, invest in non-romantic relationships and learn how to be happy in your own skin. Don’t expect someone else to give you there all if you have nothing to offer in return. 
    1. Don’t put your whole life on hold until you’re in a relationship, don’t not do things just because you’re single. Get yourself out there and live your life, who knows when the right person may come along or how long you’ll be waiting. It’ll probably happen when you least expect it, so in the meantime, make the most of your life and don’t waste time pining over something you don’t have. 
    1. Be realistic about what sort of person will be attracted to you. We tend to couple up with people of a similar attractiveness/ successfulness to ourselves. Don’t waste time chasing people who are way out of your league, unless you really enjoy being rejected.  
    1. Accept the looks aren’t everything, so don’t be vain; a lasting successful relationship is not based on physical attraction alone. Be open minded about what you’re looking for as love can be found in unexpected places, and from unexpected people. 
    1. Accept that it’s not someone else’s responsibility to make you happy, or in some way ‘make you whole’, no-one with their shit together is going to be attracted to someone who is deeply unhappy or unsatisfied with their life. Unless you want to be rescued by a narcissist with a ‘hero complex’, learn to live with yourself and be happy on your own. 
    1. Don’t feel under pressure to be in a relationship just because everyone else is, or that’s what society expects (tells) you to do. Some people are more than happy on their own, and there are a lot of advantages to being single; there are worse things to be, I promise. 
    1. Whatever you do, don’t come across as desperate! People can sense desperation and will either a) find it grossly unattractive or b) see it as an opportunity to take advantage of or exploit you; neither of which are great. 

    Good luck! 

    Emily-Rose xxx 

    If you liked this blog, check out my blog on physical attraction

    Physical attraction

  • Sex toys in public places – when it works and when it doesn’t…

    One of my sugar daddies, let’s call him Nigel, took me to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show, streamed live at the cinema. It was a last-minute arrangement as he wasn’t sure whether his wife would be joining him, however she decided not to, so I got the call, and cobbled together my best Magenta inspired outfit (think French tart meets gothic whore), whilst he played it safe and went as Brad.  

    He of course looked fairly respectable, dressed up smart with a bow-tie, glasses and long beige coat, whilst I on the other hand was half-naked and looked anything but…, however I didn’t care as I was unlikely to bump into anyone I knew; and anyway, surely everyone would be dressed up, right? Apparently not, for when we arrived at the cinema it seemed that hardly anyone had bothered, a few hardcore fans had made an effort, but most had not. Worse than this, it was half-term, so there were loads of families there with children… fucking fantastic!  

    Throughout the first half of the show several gin and tonics were produced from a rucksack, along with Maltesers; yes, he’s my ‘feeder’ (see my blog on getting kinky). When we got to the interval Nigel was rather excited, promising me something a bit special in the second half. Expecting something food related, I was slightly startled when 10 minutes into the second half he put his hand between my legs, and I realised that he was holding a small bullet vibrator; small but surprisingly powerful and effective. What he didn’t realise was how noisy it was, and that he’d picked a particularly quiet time to whip it out; as much as I was enjoying the sensation I had no choice but to confiscate it and hide it in my bra. Thankfully I don’t think anyone noticed, but there were kids sat in front of us…. For God’s sake Nigel….Think of the children! 

    After the Rocky Horror experience, I was a bit dubious about using toys in public places, however when another sugar daddy bought an app controlled wearable vibrator, I was only too happy to give it a go (the advantages of having a shocking memory, I’ll try anything twice).  

    Needing somewhere public to test it out, we met for a drink at a nearby pub, full of men enjoying a post-work pint and watching football. We found a little table to one side, and I slipped my hand into my panties to turn on the device. Once paired to his phone, he could adjust the intensity of two vibrating functions; one internal stimulating my g-spot and the other vibrating against my clit. He was very much enjoying watching me squirming and writhing on my seat, trying but failing to ease the sweet torment; he was being cruel, but I was loving it!  

    Unlike the bullet vibrator that Nigel used, this one was quiet enough to use in public without being detected, it was perfect.  

    I was somewhat struggling to concentrate and keep the conversation going as he sat there casually playing around with the settings, and whenever another man walked by, he’d give me a cheeky smile and turn both up to max vibes, making my body tense and my pussy pulse. It wasn’t quite enough to make me cum, which is probably just as well, but let’s just say that when we got back to his place it didn’t take long, and boy did I come!  

    The set also came with a vibrating cock ring which he wore when we got back to his; it was great fun sucking his cock whilst he was wearing it, as it felt like his whole cock was vibrating in my mouth. He didn’t keep it on for long though, as it was quite tight, and he was worried that his cock was going to fall off, which wouldn’t have been quite so fun…  

    I’ve since purchased the set for myself and sometimes use the cock ring with my regular sugar daddy (it’s not so tight on him).  

    It feels good fucking a guy whilst they’re wearing it because you can feel the vibrations on your clit (especially if you’re on top), and you can have a lot of fun edging the other person… and yourself. 

    I’ve obviously had my fair share of sex in public places too, and whilst there’s something exciting about the idea of getting caught, it doesn’t always make for the most pleasurable sex for women, who often need a little longer to come (see my blog on making women orgasm). The thought of having sex in front of other people and being watched is a huge turn on for me though (such an attention seeker), I’d be more than happy to have an audience, the more the merrier…. 

    Maybe one day when I’m rich and famous I’ll get to perform my own sex show, fingers crossed! 

    Hopefully see you there 😉 

    Emily-Rose xxx 

    Related posts

    Let’s get kinky…
    Top tips on how to get a woman to orgasm (or at least this woman) 

  • Birthday Blog

    Slightly different blog today, as this isn’t an extract from my (yet to be published) book, but a life update/ some fresh ramblings. In case you hadn’t guessed from the title, today is actually my birthday, today I am officially 36 years old; yay, well done me!  

    I’m not planning on doing anything productive today (other than writing this), no… today is reserved for contemplation and self-reflection; thinking about what I’ve achieved, what I’ve yet to achieve, and wondering where the hell the last 12 months have gone. I might even treat myself to a little cry and an afternoon nap, just because it’s my special day and I can. 

    They’ll be no partying or celebrating here, tonight I’ll be in my PJs by 6pm (assuming I get dressed at all), and in bed by 9pm with a book and a mug of hot chocolate; fuck it, I might even put my phone on airplane mode for a few hours. This may sound a bit tragic, but it’s my idea of heaven; and if you can’t do what you want on your birthday, then when can you…. 

    Thankfully it’s just me and my daughter here today, so no-one has to witness my birthday induced anxiety. My daughter is celebrating her anniversary with her online boyfriend, which totally trumps her Mum having survived another year; so, she’ll be spending most of her evening on her laptop in her room anyway.  

    Don’t worry, I have just come back from a few nights in Dublin with my regular sugar daddy where we celebrated in style, and on Thursday I’m heading up to Birmingham for an afternoon of shopping with another sugar daddy, so my birthday is not going unobserved. I may not feel the need to celebrate, but apparently other people do… 

    Am I where I thought I’d be at the age of 36; no, of course not. I’m single, living on a tiny boat (I moved onto a narrowboat), without any real career prospects. I’m still figuring out who I am and what I want to do with my life (all be it whilst having a great time in the process). I seriously thought I’d have my life sorted by the age of 30 though, but that didn’t happen (not even close) so 40 is my new 30. I’ve got four years to get my shit together; maybe I’m a late bloomer… let’s hope so! 

    My main goal is to publish my book, however I’m yet to find a literary agent; I’ve had two agents requesting the full manuscript though, so hopefully it’s just a matter of time. Yes, I know I could self-publish, but that costs money and I don’t have a clue what I’m doing, and I’d probably fuck it up; so, I wait, hoping that someone reads my book and thinks it’s worth a shot. In the meantime, book number two is being written, as I need something to do other than check my inbox every 5 minutes. 

    Obviously, I have my sugar daddies to keep me busy and pay my bills whilst I’m waiting, for which I’m eternally grateful; and I must say that I’m absolutely smashing it in terms of work/life balance at the moment.  

    What is my 37th year on this planet going to have in store for me, fuck knows…. Ideally a six-figure publishing deal, a best-selling book, and Netflix harassing me for movie rights… I’d also quite like to fall in love, ideally with someone who owns a nice house with a big comfy bed; we’ll rescue cats and possibly have a dog. I think that’s all, surely that’s not too much to ask… 

    I’m well aware that growing old is a privilege, not that I’m particularly old, but you know what I mean. I’m also lucky that all my bits work (most of the time anyway) and I’m in relatively good shape, although I do have to watch what I eat and exercise now, which sucks; you can’t have it all though…  

    Anyway, can’t sit here writing all day, I have an existential crisis to organise. 

    I’ll be back soon, when normal service will be resumed. 

    Emily-Rose xxx 

    *In case you’re interested in what I’m reading at the moment, I’m reading ‘In Pursuit of Happiness by Stacey Duguid’. It’s not a bad book, but not as good as mine; just saying… 

  • The ‘girlfriend’ experience: having a long-term arrangement.

    Jamie was the second man I met from the site and married when we met; but he and his wife were no longer physically intimate. The marriage was lacking emotional connection, conversation between the two being limited and transactional; what are we having for tea, have you put the bins out, etc; you get the idea. She was no longer interested in him sexually, or any other way for that matter; and he was feeling pretty shit.  

    Obviously, I’ve only heard his side of the story, and she might disagree, but the whys and the wherefores are almost irrelevant. The fact of the matter was that he felt disconnected and rejected, so did what people naturally do in that situation and sought connection and acceptance from elsewhere. 

    Jamie isn’t exactly ‘well endowered’ and his penis is noticeably bent (like properly bent in the middle) when he gets an erection; apparently one of the reasons, according to his wife, why their sex-life was non-existent. She didn’t think much of his penis, or what he did with it, regularly comparing him to her exes, who were all much bigger and better than him… of course. She made such an issue of it that Jamie considered undergoing surgery to straighten it, which would have resulted in losing some length, so thankfully he decided against it.  

    Jamie was self-conscious about his penis when we met, but with a little reassurance he was fine, and we consummated the ‘arrangement’ on that first night together no problem. In fact, we have a very successful sex-life, and it’s been great to see Jamie’s confidence grow during our time together. We’ve had sex in a variety of positions (several times) and his bent penis has never been an issue.  

    Don’t worry, I don’t intend to describe every penis I’ve ever fucked (I don’t have time), I only mention Jamie’s because very few men (if any) have straight penises, most seem to veer off in one direction or another, but unless you’ve got some sort of pretzel situation going on, you’ll probably find a way to make it work! Apparently, women don’t have straight vaginas anyway, so maybe they were just a bad fit, or she had a vagina like a curly wurly or something…   

    When we first got involved it was all a bit vanilla, but as the months went on and we got to know each other better, he became open to trying other things; things he’d been curious about but never had the chance to explore. He wanted me to take control and be dominant, so we got the toy box out and started experimenting with whips, handcuffs, cock-rings and vibrators. At the age of 66, Jamie tried anal for the first time and allowed me to return the favour a few months later (with a strap-on obviously).  It’s been great fun helping Jamie explore his sexuality and learn how to express himself in the bedroom; and I’m really proud of how far he’s come (insert your own joke here).   

    So, the sex works, but that’s only a small part (ha ha) of our arrangement. Jamie didn’t just want sex, he wanted someone to spend time with; an attractive female companion to inject some fun and excitement into his life… and I was the perfect person to fill his void (ahem) and provide him with the stimulating company he was craving. 

    We have lots in common, and both love the theatre and live music; I must cost him a fortune in theatre tickets, but he doesn’t mind, apparently I’m worth it (I mean obviously). We love going to London for the weekend and doing the whole West-End thing, and we’re both foodies, so enjoy eating and drinking out a lot (both in frequency and sheer volume). 

    We’re equally content at home chilling on the sofa with a cuppa and The Times crossword or watching some random shit on tv though. Our guilty pleasure is ‘married at first sight’, if you’ve never seen it, it’s alarmingly addictive. I applied for the show one night when I was drunk, unsurprisingly they didn’t get back to me, can’t imagine why…  

    We average around six nights a month together, more if we’re going away somewhere, and message or talk on the phone every day. We’ve both been through some tough times over the last few years, but we’ve supported each other through them. Jamie might be my sugar daddy, but he’s also a friend and practically part of the family at this point. It’s very much what you would call the ‘girlfriend’ experience, which is different to my other arrangements which are more casual, and less time consuming (thank God!). 

    Obviously, Jamie knows that I see other men, and that what we have is an arrangement and not a relationship; which he finds difficult at times. Things aren’t always good, and we’ve had our fair share of arguments and falling outs over the years. In the heat of the moment, we’ve both threatened to end the arrangement and walk away, however we always make up, as I think we both (for different reasons maybe) realise that what we have is too good to throw away.   

    Whilst I couldn’t cope with more than one Jamie in my life and I’m grateful that my other sugar daddies are less demanding; I also realise how incredibly lucky I am to have Jamie around and really appreciate all the amazing things we get to do together.  

    He’s already booked a get-away for our 4th anniversary, so it doesn’t look like he’s planning to trade me in anytime soon.  

    Thank you for everything you do for me Jamie. 

    Emily-Rose xxx 

    A word of advice: if you want your partner to be better in bed, telling them how shit they are compared to your exes is not the way to go! Comparing people in bed and making them feel shit will not give them the confidence to up their game or try something new. If your partner isn’t giving you what you want or need, don’t be a twat about it.  Instead, be honest about what you need and what turns you on; and what you enjoy or would like to try. So many of the men I see have endured years of unsatisfactory, boring sex. Honestly guys, life’s too short to be having bad sex… unless like me, you’re being paid for it.   

    Disclaimer: If you’re into something really niche, maybe coming home with a giant cot and adult diapers after 25 years of missionary might be a bit much, so test the water with something smaller first…maybe just a packet of wet wipes or something. 

  • Top tips on how to get a woman to orgasm (or at least this woman) 

    1. Very few women orgasm through penetrative sex alone. If your woman does, then lucky you, feel free to skip this blog. If that’s not the case (which for most of you it won’t be) then accept the fact that it’s going to take a little time and effort on your behalf. It will be worth it though, I promise.  
    1. Ask you woman whether she prefers internal (g-spot) or external (clitoral) stimulation. She may like a combination of both; but may need one in order to be able to actually orgasm.  
    1. Don’t be afraid to use plenty of lube, especially if you’re focusing on the clitoris. Even if she’s already pretty wet (which hopefully she will be), lube will enhance the experience. If you don’t have lube, then make sure to use her natural lube from her pussy or your saliva to glide your fingers over her clit.  
    1. If you’re using your fingers inside her vagina, don’t just hold them straight and push them in and out (classic schoolboy error). Also don’t think that the more fingers you can shove in there the better….  just use one or two fingers to caress the front inner wall of her vagina using a come-hither motion, and hopefully you’ll be able to find her g-spot. It’s often not as far up as men think. 
    1. Don’t be offended if she needs a toy in order to come, this is quite normal and nothing personal. If she does use toys, I’d suggest that you ask her to show you how she uses them, and maybe just watch her the first time. Even with toys, there’ll be a knack. 
    1. Keep communicating with each other. Not necessarily dirty talk, unless she’s into that, but just check in with her and don’t be afraid to ask her whether she wants it harder/faster/ softer etc. Remember all women are different, what has worked in the past with other women, may not work with this one. Being able to communicate with your partner re what you like and what feels good is really important. 
    1. Reassure her/ make it clear that you’re enjoying the act of giving her pleasure. Some women can take a long time to orgasm and may feel self-conscious about this. If they feel like you’re not enjoying it, or they start to feel guilty about how long they’re taking, then they will probably get to you to stop, or worse they’ll fake it, and all your hard work will have been for nothing. 
    1. If your woman has not come during foreplay or sex, then ask her afterwards whether there’s anything you can do for her, or whether she needs to use a toy or something to finish herself off. Just because you’ve come and got what you’ve needed, don’t assume that it’s over. Now that the pressure’s off, she may be able to have her release; alternatively, she may be absolutely fine and perfectly satisfied, but it’s always nice to ask. 
    1. If a woman tells you that she doesn’t come, or isn’t going to come, don’t take this as a challenge, this isn’t about your ego; it just puts pressure on her, which is definitely not going to help the situation. This isn’t a ‘get out of jail free’ card though, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want foreplay or to be pleasured, she’s just managing your expectations and trying to take the pressure off you both. Do your best to give her as much pleasure as you can, and accept that she’s not going to orgasm, then if she does it will be a bonus, for both of you. 
    1. Don’t necessarily expect a woman to come the first time you sleep together. For lots of women, in order to be able to come, they need to be relaxed and feel able to let go. There’s often a level of intimacy and trust that needs to be developed first. Take your time and get to know her, and don’t try to rush the process. She’ll get there when she’s ready.    

    Oh, and if your woman is a squirter like me, don’t forget your wet weather gear! 

    Emily-Rose xxx

  • Orgasms

    Don’t you agree that orgasms are just the best? I certainly love coming and making other people come, and despite having had sex with lots of people, I still think there’s something special and beautiful about sharing an orgasm with another person.  

    I used to think I was awkward when it came to orgasms, only being able to do so with the help of certain toys, however with age and experience, I’ve found that I can come without them; much to my delight and the delight of the men who’ve experienced it. I may take a while to get there, but it’s totally worth it when I do! 

    Obviously, women’s orgasms are different to men’s, we seem to be more complicated in that department. However, I consider myself to be lucky, as I experience orgasms from both clitoral and g-spot stimulation. My clitoral orgasms take longer to build, but when I come it’s a total lack of control, as the muscles in my pussy go into spasm, and I experience a total release. After coming like this, my clitoris is super sensitive and takes a while to recover, my vagina is good to go though, and I love being penetrated after having a clitoral orgasm, it makes for more pleasurable sex. 

    The other type of orgasm is more controversial and not something all women experience; I’m not sure I’d even really call it orgasming, as it feels more like ejaculating (or squirting as it’s referred to). Unlike my purely clitoral orgasms, I can squirt several times and have found that with practice I can exert some control over when I squirt (although not always).   

    A lot of my sugar daddies have never experienced squirting before, and it can take them by surprise. I mean, it took me by surprise the first time I did it; I thought I’d pissed myself… Now I know what it is, I think it’s just wonderful; the only downside being that it can be quite messy! Fine if you’re in a premier inn or hotel (sorry cleaning staff), but not so good when you’ve drenched the sheets (and mattress ahem) on your sugar daddies’ bed.  

    Thankfully most men don’t seem to mind; they know exactly what they’re doing and could stop if they wanted, but they don’t. To be honest I think they just love the fact that they’ve been able to make me come. 

    Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it) I don’t come with all of my sugar daddies, only a select few. I don’t come through penetrative sex alone, so men that just want a quick fuck, miss out on that experience. I’m very good at making men think I’ve come, and making it feel like I’m coming, so men often think I’ve come several times, when in reality I’ve been a long way off even coming once. I don’t mind this though; I just finish myself off when I get home, it’s fine.  

    Men can of course have different types of orgasms too… One of my sugar daddies has what he refers to as ‘mental orgasms’, mental as in ‘in the mind’ rather than ‘crazy’. I’m not sure exactly how it works, and neither is he, but he claims that he can come without actually ejaculating. In all other ways it looks like he’s having an intense orgasm, and it feels just like one (apparently), only without the mess. The other night he had three ‘mental’ orgasms whilst I was edging him with my hands and a toy, before I climbed on top of him, and he eventually shot his load in my pussy.  

    The other way men can apparently experience an orgasm is through having their prostate stimulated. Done correctly you can seemingly make men ejaculate without even touching their penis.  

    I first came across prostate milking when I was working on a sex chatline, as one of my regulars was really into it; I’d read articles about prostate milking to him whilst he masturbated. I’ve come close to doing this with one of my sugar daddies, using a toy up his ass. He was really enjoying it but kept stopping me because he felt like he needed to wee (which he didn’t). I think if he’d just relaxed and ignored the strange sensation, he could have had a very interesting and enjoyable experience…. 

    I was rather mean to one of my sugar daddies once and put a cock ring around the base of his cock, and another around his balls. I tortured his cock (in the nicest possible way) for ages, but he was unable to ejaculate; he felt all the sensations of coming, but without actually doing so.  

    By the time I removed the cock rings, his penis was so sensitive that he couldn’t come no matter how much he wanted to. Don’t worry, whilst he went to sleep frustrated, he got his happy ending in the morning, and I believe it was worth the wait. 

    When men are paying for sex, they like to get their money’s worth, meaning that they’ll often try to come as many times as they can. This is where younger men have the advantage, and when I’m glad that most of my sugar daddies are older. Whilst some of my sugar daddies may go in for round two, most of them leave it there, two in one night leaving them more than satisfied. If I’m spending the night with them, they’ll often go again in the morning if they’re up for it, which most men seem to be… Why do men wake up feeling so horny? 

    Most men have preferences about where and how they like to come, and whilst a lot of my sugar daddies like to come inside me, some struggle with this, and need to be finished by hand, or prefer to come in my mouth; I’ve had men come on and in just about every part of my body. One of my sugar daddies, who likes to be wanked off, explodes with such force that no matter how careful I am, I always end up with come in my hair; which is definitely the most annoying place to get it.  

    Of all the options available, the mouth is certainly the least messy; although I can’t say I’m a huge fan of the taste of come, and I’ve yet to find a woman who is (not that I’ve done extensive research or anything). When a guy comes in my mouth, I swallow it down as quickly as I can, not because I’m a come thirsty whore, but because it tastes gross. If the penis is far enough down your throat, you don’t have to taste it at all, which is a bonus providing you don’t choke on it; you have to time it right though. 

    Maybe one day someone will create something to make men’s sperm taste better. I’m surprised men haven’t tried to create something already actually; surely the incentive’s there… 

    Anyway, I wish you all many happy orgasms, and if you haven’t had one for a while, maybe this is a sign to go knock one out…. 

    Emily-Rose xxx 

  • Being adaptable: an essential skill for every sugar baby.

    Being a sugar baby, it’s important to be adaptable, as you never quite know who you’re going to meet and who’s going to want to pay for your company. I like to think I’m fairly versatile and able to manage myself in whatever situations I find myself in, a bit of a social chameleon if you like; or maybe just a massive people pleaser, either way it doesn’t matter; what matters is that I’m able to adapt who I am to be whatever is needed in that moment. 

    As you’d imagine, there’s not an awful lot of cultural diversity down the far end of Cornwall, not many make it down that far, but being a sugar baby has given me the chance to spend time with people I wouldn’t have the opportunity to otherwise; and who aren’t in some way related to me… always a bonus! 

     I appreciate spending time with people from different cultural backgrounds and hearing about their experiences, and I’ve been lucky enough to be involved with men from all over the world, all shapes, sizes, ethnicities and religions. There’s still so much I don’t know though, so am always asking questions, and wanting to know more. Thankfully most of my sugar daddies are pretty open and don’t mind my curiosity/ nosiness. In return I’m more than happy to talk about myself and answer their questions; it’s a two-way thing. 

    I’ve come to find that if you’re genuinely interested in understanding another person’s experiences and where they’re coming from, then they’ll take the time to explain. Whether it be about their religion, gender, sexual orientation, political beliefs or whatever, I believe it’s better to ask then make assumptions that are incorrect, or heaven forbid rely on inaccurate or harmful stereotypes. As long as you ask in a respectful manner, and you’re prepared to listen in a non-judgemental way, people don’t seem to mind; and if someone doesn’t want to talk about something, they can always tell you to bugger off (or a polite alternative).   

    Having had a relatively sheltered upbringing, I’m often introduced to new things, and have had many firsts with my sugar daddies, most of which I’m happy to say have been enjoyable.  

    My first time eating oysters wasn’t quite so enjoyable though; for someone who swallows for a living, I really struggled! It was like swallowing mouthfuls of slimy gritty sea water full of sand and bits of shell, it was awful. I just sat there, unable to talk, my mouth full of oyster (and God knows what), gulping down wine in an attempt to wash it down. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more like a farmer’s daughter… 

    There have been several times where I’ve fucked up, like the time I ordered a pork dish when I was with one of my Muslim sugar daddies. Thankfully (as a result of the horrified look on his face) I realised straight away what I’d done and quickly changed my order. It wasn’t a big deal, but sparked an interesting conversation as to why he doesn’t eat pork, which was for a very different reason then I thought…    

    We all get things wrong every now and then, but that’s how we learn, right? And if people can see you’re genuinely trying, they’ll forgive the odd mistake. 

    Like most people, I wear different hats (metaphorically speaking), for work, as a parent etc, I’m different people to different people; and whilst it’s true that some of my sugar daddies get to see more of my authentic self, it’s also true that different sugar daddies draw out different sides of my personality. Some men want a slut, whilst others want a respectable lady, some men like to take me out to eat at fancy restaurants, whilst others want to chill in front of the tele; you quickly learn which parts of yourself to bring to the table, and which to leave at home.  

    At the end of the day, as a sugar baby I’m providing a tailor-made service to each one of my sugar daddies, and part of that is being the woman they want me to be. The better I am at giving them what they need, the happier they are, the more they’ll want to see me, and the more money I’ll make, it’s that simple!  

    However, if what they want is something I don’t feel comfortable providing, or they want me to be someone who is totally incompatible with my authentic self and my values, then I don’t take them on as a client; I may bend over backwards for my sugar daddies, but I’m not prepared to bend so far as to break. 

    I think it was Charles Darwin who said something like ‘it is not the strongest or the most intelligent of the species that survives, but the one most adaptable to change’; which really resonates with me. Having said that, it’s a balancing act, as whilst we all need to adjust and adapt to those around us, we mustn’t lose sight of who we are, where we come from and what we value. 

    Till next time, keep it real! 

    Emily-Rose xxx 

  • Let’s get kinky…

    A few of my sugar daddies are kinky, which keeps things interesting; nothing wrong with vanilla, but it’s nice to mix things up every now and then. I guess I’m also quite kinky, after all, I enjoy being tied up and dominated when the opportunity arises…  

    When I’m with my sugar daddies it’s not about me though; and whilst a few of my sugar daddies are dominant, more often than not I’m in charge, which is fine. 

    I did feel a tad guilty the first time I slapped an old man in the face and spat in his mouth whilst telling him what a useless shit he was, but you get used to it.  

    As a sugar baby, my job is to help my sugar daddies explore their sexual fantasies and desires, and introduce them to new things; be that toys, role play, bondage, prostate massage or pegging, there’s not much I won’t do. 

    My sugar daddy Nigel is certainly kinky, describing himself as ‘sexually deviant’. He isn’t shy about it either, which is great; I love it when people know what they want and aren’t afraid to ask for it! He actually introduced me to electro-stim, a shocking experience (ha ha), but not as scary as it sounds; although you have to really trust someone when you’re tied up and they have the ability to electrocute your genitals!   

    Nigel’s also what they call ‘a feeder’. I’ve come across a few in my time, and as someone who enjoys eating, I don’t mind; although I couldn’t be in a relationship with one. His guilty pleasure is Maltesers, which I also quite like; the only issue is that he likes to suck them and feed them to me from his mouth. Sometimes I know it’s coming (which is bad enough) but other times I kiss him and get an unexpected soggy surprise… eugh.  

    As is typical with feeders, food also ends up in bed with us, either smeared over body parts, or fed to each other, in what I can only guess is meant to be romantic? Whilst Nigel gets a lot of pleasure from feeding me, I don’t always appreciate the extra calories. One night he nearly made me sick feeding me a chocolate and caramel pudding; I couldn’t look at chocolate for a week afterwards. 

    A bit of role play is always fun though. One of my sugar daddies likes to come to my house and give me spelling tests; yes, he literally has a list of spellings stored on his phone for the occasion. Lifting up my skirt and pulling down my panties, he’ll bend me over his knee, spanking me each time I make a mistake. I’m not great at spelling, but it’s really come on; amazing how well you can remember things when there’s something at stake.  

    If he’s feeling particularly cruel, he’ll play with my clit whilst I’m trying to concentrate or give me a word such as peace (which could be peace or piece) and punish me for spelling the wrong one…. bastard! He’s actually a history teacher, so maybe I should just be grateful that it’s spellings and not historical dates he’s testing me on… 

    Ed (see my blog ‘The Sadist and the Masochist’) obviously needs to take control in the bedroom and will turn up with an assortment of items with which to make me squirm. During one session, he pulled out two handfuls of brightly coloured clothes pegs, each attached to a length of string, which he proceeded to peg along my naked body, from my inner thighs up to my breasts. 

    He left me squirming for a while, then made me count down from 5 before pulling the string and ripping the pegs off in one swift action. I was expecting it to hurt (which it did), but wasn’t expecting it to feel as pleasurable, it was like an electric shock travelling the length of my body. 

    In between meetings he threatens me with them, promising to add another peg every time I disobey him; I had 36 pegs last time we met (I’m a very naughty girl). He played with my clit whilst ripping them off, the contrast between the pain and pleasure was amazing.  

    On another occasion he enjoyed dripping hot red wax over my body whilst I was tied up and blindfolded, I didn’t mind the wax too much but was terrified that he was going to drop the candle on me or set the place on fire.  

    Very occasionally I’m persuaded to do things I don’t enjoy so much, like drinking my own urine, which I can safely say I (probably) won’t be doing again. The sugar daddy involved loved being pissed over, drinking my piss out of a glass, and getting me to piss directly into his mouth though… each to their own. 

    Often my sugar daddies know exactly what they want, which is good, because I don’t have to think about it. Sometimes however they’re not so sure, they want to try something, but don’t know what, so it’s up to me to get creative.  

    Over the years I’ve amounted an impressive selection of toys and equipment, so it’s usually fairly easy to find something suitable; however, it doesn’t always have the desired effect. I used a prostate vibrator on one of my older men who was having trouble getting it up, hoping that it might get him hard enough to fuck; which it didn’t, his cock was as limp as ever. He enjoyed it though, saying it was quite relaxing, which it must have been, as when I removed it from his ass it was covered in shit. 

    Talking of shit, I’m not a huge fan of eating ass, which is hypocritical, as I enjoy having my ass licked out but am less keen to return the favour; not saying that I haven’t or that I don’t, I’m just not that keen on doing it. Fingers are fine, I’ll happily shove as many of them as you want up there, I just don’t really want to use my tongue.  

    Having said that, I did stick my finger up a guy’s ass once and ran headlong (or fingerlong) into a shit coming the other way. Cleaning your own shit from under your fingernails is bad enough, but when it’s someone else’s…  

    I do appreciate that not all men are expecting, or prepared for a cheeky finger, but if you think it’s going to be a possibility, at least clear the way first. 

    The other thing I’m not keen on is feet; not that anyone has ever asked me to lick their feet or suck their toes, but if they did then I’d struggle. Again, no problem with men playing with my feet, it’s actually quite nice. I know it’s a big thing and people are really into it, but the majority of the men I know don’t have nice feet. I’ve seen some pretty vile looking toenails in my time…why the hell would I want to put them anywhere near my mouth… 

    As much as I try to fulfil my sugar daddies’ fantasies, there are some things that even I, as eager as I am to please, just can’t do. For example, one of my sugar daddy’s is desperate to find a sugar baby who’s breast feeding, so he can suckle on her tits. He’s got a fetish for ‘milky boobs’ (as he calls them) that I cannot satisfy; which is a shame because I think he’d pay handsomely for the pleasure… 

    Ultimately, we’re all different though, which ironically is the only thing we have in common. It’s unusual to find someone who doesn’t have at least one weird kink in the bedroom, and if they say they don’t, then watch out, it’s probably just been suppressed.  

    Quiet Gary from finance may be a married, middle-aged man who enjoys missionary once a week, but mark my words, one day he’ll flip and his wife will come home to find him in a full gimp suit. It’s always the quiet ones……     

    If you do enjoy doing weird things in the bedroom then good for you, I’m not here to judge, or tell anyone what they should or shouldn’t be doing. After all, suppressing sexual desires is not healthy, so as long as it’s safe and legal, find someone similarly inclined to explore it with and embrace your inner freak. If it’s not legal or you find it disturbing, then find a therapist and explore it with them, either way, you have to find a way to live with it. And if you want to lick my asshole and suck my toes, then go ahead, just don’t expect me to return the favour! 

    Emily-Rose xxx