Assumptions are often made about sex workers like me; such as that we are victims, we are being exploited by men, we don’t really enjoy what we’re doing, and only having sex for money through necessity.
I appreciate that this is the case for lots of women, I’m not going to start spouting some idealist bullshit about how everyone is free to make their own choices in life, because as lovely as that sounds, it simply isn’t true. Vulnerable women are often forced into the sex trade or prostitution because they have no other option, men will take advantage of women by offering money they can’t afford to turn down, or by threatening or coercing them in some way; men are capable of doing some pretty awful things in order to make money or get their end away. Women struggling with addiction may turn to sex work because it’s the only way to get the money they need; and there’s no doubt that homelessness, lack of employment or access to education, and poor health (both physical and mental) all contribute to the decision (or need) for women to sell sex for money.
It’s wrong to assume that all women who engage in sex work are in some way victims or being taken advantage of though, as there are plenty of women who do this type of work because they want to, and they enjoy it. For me anyway it’s very much a choice, and I don’t believe that I am being exploited or taken advantage of by any of the men who pay for my services. I have chosen to put myself out there as a sugar baby, and advertise on sites that allow me to set out exactly what I’m looking for and what I have to offer. I’m in full control over who I engage with and who I choose to see, if I don’t like the look of someone then I’ll ignore their messages, if they’re being a twat then I can block or report them; I certainly don’t feel under pressure to get involved with anyone, or do anything I don’t want to.
I genuinely enjoy being a sugar baby; I mean obviously not all the time, no job is perfect, but 99% of the time I’m having fun and enjoy what I’m doing. I have done other things, had other jobs, and have a good degree, so could do something else if I want or need to, but I choose to work as a sugar baby because quite frankly I like the lifestyle, the freedom and the money. I love being around men and having sex, and enjoy being looked after and having (/being) a good time, so for me it’s the perfect job. I have no qualms about embracing and capitalizing on my feminine sexuality and my body to make a living, I don’t find it demeaning in any way, if anything I find it empowering. Men will always pay women for sex, they’ve been doing so since the beginning of time; the only question is whether they’re paying me or someone else… and I’m more than happy to take their money.
Of course, there are always going to be men who take the piss, but it’s up to me to say no and put them in their place; something I have no problem doing. Afterall, I know how much I’m worth and how much men will pay for my company; so if some guy messages me wanting a quickie in the back of his car for £60 (as happened the other day), I have no problem telling him exactly where he can shove his money. I know that I’m lucky to be in a situation where I can tell men to fuck off, but equally a lot of women doing this type of work are in the same situation; they choose who they work with, and in many ways hold all the cards. There are plenty of successful women out there who do this job because they don’t have the time or energy (or desire) for a traditional relationship, and find that these arrangements give them everything they need. Women who work as GPs, lawyers, teachers, who do sugar baby work on the side for the thrill of it, or because they want to maintain a luxurious lifestyle.
The point I’m trying to make is that whilst sex workers are occasionally put in vulnerable situations, not all sex workers are vulnerable women; it very much depends on the woman and her particular circumstances. If you’re paying a sex worker and you get the impression that she’s not happy or there through choice, then you’re likely taking advantage of her situation. If you’re driving around the streets picking up girls who are only having sex for money because they have no other choice, again, you’re taking advantage of a vulnerable woman in order to get your leg over. Don’t convince yourself that it’s some kind of charity, or in any way altruistic; you could just as easily buy her food or give her money without making her suck your cock or fuck you…
If you do want to pay someone for sex (and why not, it can be great fun when done properly), just make sure it’s with someone who’s chosen to be there, who enjoys what they do, and is in a position to say no. Having sex with a sex worker can be a wonderful experience for both parties if done correctly, and there are plenty of intelligent and attractive women like me who get off on having sex for money, so why not give it a try? You never know, you might just make someone very happy 🙂
Emily-Rose xxx
Sugar and Spice 
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